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Afflictor Nation: Canada Defeats Great Britain

October 1, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

We're Afflictor Nation champions! (Image by Jonathan Pope.)

It was a close battle in September to see which country would have the most citizens visit to the idiotic site known as Afflictor. In the end, Canada was able to snare that uncoveted title for the third month running, fending off a furious finish by Great Britain. The problem with our neighbors to the North winning again is that I think I ran out of Canada jokes about two months ago. So, instead of mocking that cold-as-fuck country, I’ll just list all the foreign nations that visited the site this month. Thank you all, even those of you that are truly backwards and embarrassing:

Canada, Great Britain, Spain, Netherlands, Italy, Germany, Russian Federation, Australia, France, Colombia, Brazil, Mexico, Ukraine, India, Lebanon, Argentina, Denmark, Switzerland, Turkey, Sweden, Japan, Greece, Poland, Portugal, Finland, Belgium, Republic of Serbia, China, Norway, Latvia, Thailand, United Arab Emirates, South Africa, Indonesia, Ireland, Israel, Philippines, Saudi Arabia, Czech Republic, New Zealand, Malaysia, Cambodia, Malta, Croatia, Estonia, Romania, Kuwait, Hungary, Slovak Republic, Egypt, Hong Kong, Iran, Tunisia, Ecuador, Chile. Mongolia, Sri Lanka, Azerbaidjan, Singapore, Angola, Dominican Republic, Bulgaria, Guatemala, Uruguay, Peru, Venezuela, Trinidad and Tobago, Oman, Lithuania, Cyprus, Vietnam, Nigeria, South Korea.

Recently Posted On NYC’s Craigslist

September 29, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

Try to not step on my head, geniuses. (Image by Ansgar Walk.)

RARE *** Polar Bear Rug – $5000 (Norwalk, CT)

Extremely Large Antique Polar Bear Rug with the Head and Claws attached.

Measures:

  • 9 Feet from Nose to Tail
  • 9 Feet between front Paws
  • 8 Feet between rear Paws

This rug is an antique more than 80 years old that we inherited this from an old family friend. The kids are afraid of it and it is just HUGE. Not sure what to do with it and it is currently folded and stored. Would look awesome in a ski chalet or in front of a fireplace!

It has a heavy quilted backing and it quite heavy. To our knowledge, it never had any foot traffic upon it and was more of a decorator piece. These rugs are now generally barred from import into the United States and due to its age, we believe this particular rug is grandfathered and offered legally for sale.

Being an older rug, it does have some minor issues that can be solved with minimal restoration by a professional taxidermist. The issues are that one claw has become partially detached as has a portion of the bear’s left ear … however, we have the parts and they can be easily reattached. Aside from these issues, the fur is thick, the teeth, mouth, nose and eyes are in great shape and in fact, it shows no real sign of it’s age. We expect this rug to be around for many years yet provided it is properly cared for.

This is an opportunity to purchase a Polar Bear Rug at a greatly reduced price. Due to its size and rarity, it would not be over priced if offered for $12,000 or more. We simply wish to move it on to someone that can appreciate this unique item and sell it quickly. We are asking $5,000. We are offering this for pickup only to be certain of compliance with the Federal Wildlife Act.

More Craigslist ads:

    Miscellaneous Media: Brochure From The Rio Motel In Wildwood, New Jersey (2004)

    September 29, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

    The Rio Motel brochure has the usual shots of enticing fun in the sun.

    The Rio Motel in Wildwood, New Jersey, was an example of the aptly named Doo-Wop architecture that the South Jersey city is famous for, though it wasn’t nearly as neon-infused and garish as most. The Rio was built in 1958 across the street from the ocean and had rooftop miniature golf, a large pool and a sundeck during its heyday. It managed to straddle the line and draw both families and couples.

    Despite seemingly endless sands and a raucous boardwalk, the beach town had been in a slow decline for some years when urban planners in the ’90s suggested that the local businesses stress the honky-tonk quality of the architecture and Las Vegas signage and refurbish the 1950s-era space-age structures rather than demolishing them and modernizing. The strategy proved a success as the ocean resort town rebounded. But success had a cost: In the middle of the aughts, during the real estate boom, developers snapped up the cherished old historical properties (the Rio included), took a wrecking ball to them and built (or planned to build) condominiums on the land. A  disappointed Rio patron’s comment on Yahoo! Travel:

    “Haklar quadruplets will miss the Rio

    Rio, I was just told this past weekend that the Rio was torn down for Condos. I couldn’t believe it. We have not been down to Wildwood for the past few years due to family conflicts but that was the only hotel we had ever stayed in from the time we took our quadruplets to their very first ocean vacation when they were about 5 years old. I remember they didn’t even come close to seeing over the counter when we arrived to check in. By our last visit when they were 12 or 13 they could definitely be seen across the counter. It saddens me to know that we will not be able to visit the Rio as a family ever again. With the kids all going off to college next year those memories of the 6 of us in our ‘suite’ on the third floor will be all we have left of our earlier days with our children and our yearly beach visit. We do have pictures as well to keep those memories alive. Best of Luck to all of you. We hope this is a new adventure for you and your staff and that the future will be a good one. Kathy, Rich, James, Gregory, Jessica, David Haklar.”

    1960's Rio Motel postcard.

    Any Way You Count It, It’s A Lot Of Money

    September 27, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

    Don't hate me for my success. I worked very hard for it. (Image by Ildar Sagdejev.)

    Afflictor.com

    Estimated worth: $USD 424.00

    (Source: SiteToolWizard.net.)

    Recently Posted On NYC’s Craigslist

    September 27, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

    "If it means eating ribs off of their stomach, awesome." (Image by Marcelo Teson.)

    Comedy Actresses That Just Don’t Give A F*** (Midtown West)

    We are a major WebTV show looking for sketch comedy actresses (or any actresses or models really) who don’t mind going edgy in comedy. If a scene means laying in fake puke, they are down. If it means eating ribs off of their stomach, awesome. If it means getting naked, who cares? We need people who are as edgy as we are (or edgier) to make our craziest video sketches become a reality. E-mail with name, photo, contact info, experience and a subject line that says “I dont give a fuck.”

    More Craigslist ads:

      “Sumner Redstone Would Only Be Of Interest To Gawker Readers If He Were To Soil His Adult Diapers—On-Camera”

      September 27, 2010 in Excerpts, Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

      "That image of Murdoch dyeing his hair in the sink is indelible—though the coloring may not be."

      Michael Idov of New York magazine has a really insightful, colorful profile of acerbic Gawker Media kingpin Nick Denton. The British-born blog titan has been able to predict the next wave in NYC’s tumultuous media landscape as well as anyone over the last few years. An excerpt:

      “Eight years into Gawker Media’s existence, the standard line on Denton is still that he’s an outsider of sorts, a rude alien come to torment—and supplant—media civilization as we know it. If you’re Bill Keller, say, or Tina Brown—whose Daily Beast gets one-tenth of Gawker Media’s readership on a good month—it’s much easier to view Denton as an upstart thug from nowhere, as opposed to an equal who’s kicking your ass. That plays directly into Denton’s strategy: Thuggish is the reputation he wants. ‘If I am a cornerstone of the new Establishment, then there is no new Establishment worth talking about,’ he says. ‘The only interesting people are on the West Coast, ‘he adds, then launches into a series of classic shameless Gawker riffs on the old New York media titans. ‘People used to quake when Barry Diller picked up the phone. Now he’s laughable. That image of Murdoch dyeing his hair in the sink is indelible—though the coloring may not be. Sumner Redstone would only be of interest to Gawker readers if he were to soil his adult diapers—on-camera. But the hard truth is that the golden age of New York media is largely over.’”

      Tags: , , , , ,

      Miscellaneous Media: Christmas Postcard To Mrs. Frank Houston, Cincinnati, Ohio, 45243. (1985)

      September 25, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

      "Seasons Greetings From C.B. Miller, Jupiter, Florida, 33469. "

      (Postcard purchased for 25 cents at a Brooklyn flea market.)

      “Birdie dear,

      It is always so wonderful to hear from you. Margaret called early in November or late October and said the Stephens (Lidia and Sal) were coming over in late November or early December, and they would let us known and we could come down. Knowing Lidia, that may be five years from now or never.

      Am going to Duke in February for a repair job or corrective surgery. It seems one operation causes something else to go bad. I still feel fortunate.

      Had a wonderful trip to Jed’s. His home is so beautiful. Everything in it is ultra. He is building two office buildings and is buying land to build a third when these are completed. Kids today are really something!

      All my love & best wishes for 1986.–Kay.”

      More Miscellaneous Media:

    • Jim Otto 1965 Topps football card.
    • Miniature Aircraft Quarterly. (1998)
    • Howeird Stern 50 Ways to Rank Your Mother LP. (1982)
    • A Knight’s Hard Day. (1964)
    • The Lowbrow Reader remembers Ol’ Dirty Bastard. (2004)
    • LP record about the 1972 Oakland A’s.
    • Madison Square Garden professional wrestling program. (1981)
    • Spy magazine. (1989)
    • Artis Gilmore ABA basketball card. (1973-74)
    • San Francisco cable car ticket stub. (1990s)
    • Bronx high school newspaper. (1947)
    • Mad magazine. (1966)
    • Vancouver Blazers hockey guide. (1974-75)
    • John Hummer NBA card. (1973)
    • Carolina Cougars ABA Yearbook. (1970)
    • The Washington Senators MLB Yearbook. (1968)
    • Ugandan currency with Idi Amin’s picture. (1973)
    • Tom Van Arsdale basketball card. (1970)
    • “Okie from Muskogee” sheet music. (1969)
    • California Golden Seals hockey magazine. (1972)
    • Beatles Film Festival Magazine (1978)
    • ABA Pictorial (1968-69)
    • Tom Seaver’s Baseball Is My Life. (1973)
    • Hockey Digest (1973)
    • World’s Fair Guide (1964)
    • World’s Fair Guide (1939)
    • Buffalo Braves Yearbook (1972-73)
    • New York Nets Yearbook (1976-77)
    • “Tom Dooley” sheet music.

      • Tags: , , , , ,

      “Highlights” From Another Week Of Afflictor Crap

      September 24, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

      Afflictor: Making monkeys pay for their lives of crime since 2009. (Image by Frank Wouters.)

      Dear Readers: Sorry there were fewer posts and less original writing this week. Just very busy. Things should return to normal next week.~Darren

      Afflictor Search Keyphrases In September

      September 24, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

      Thanks for all the traffic, Snooks. (Image by Jeff Lewis.)

      It was the sublime and the silly again in September as odd search-engine keyphrases brought readers our way in record numbers. (Well, record numbers by Afflictor’s modest standards, but still.) I already have named the greatest keyword search in our history, but the ten searches below also helped us get traffic this month. (They are linked to the story that drew them to us.)

      Miscellaneous Media: Jim Otto Football Card

      September 22, 2010 in Misc., Sports | Permalink

      "In the off season, Jim breeds horses and works in bowling public relations."

      I briefly got my long, elegant fingers on a 1965 Topps football card of Jim Otto of the Oakland Raiders of the American Football League. The card is kind of strange because the palindromic center is wearing number “50” in the picture even though Otto wore “00” for his entire career after his rookie year in 1960. Otto had a very distinguished career until his retirement in 1974–never missing a single game due to injury or illness–but he never could have envisioned during his playing career that decades later he would become a recurring symbol in the work of Cremaster artist Matthew Barney. It’s funny sometimes how people invent themselves and then are later reinvented in surprising ways by others. Here’s the copy on the reverse side of the card:

      “Jim is one of the three original players still performing for the Oakland Raiders. He is considered to be one of the best all around centers in the in the American Football League. He has been an All-Selection every year. An excellent blocker, Jim handles his position with poise and pride. Jim starred at Miami where he performed as an offensive center and a defensive linebacker. In the off season, Jim breeds horses and works in bowling public relations.”

      More Miscellaneous Media:

    • Miniature Aircraft Quarterly. (1998)
    • Howeird Stern 50 Ways to Rank Your Mother LP. (1982)
    • A Knight’s Hard Day. (1964)
    • The Lowbrow Reader remembers Ol’ Dirty Bastard. (2004)
    • LP record about the 1972 Oakland A’s.
    • Madison Square Garden professional wrestling program. (1981)
    • Spy magazine. (1989)
    • Artis Gilmore ABA basketball card. (1973-74)
    • San Francisco cable car ticket stub. (1990s)
    • Bronx high school newspaper. (1947)
    • Mad magazine. (1966)
    • Vancouver Blazers hockey guide. (1974-75)
    • John Hummer NBA card. (1973)
    • Carolina Cougars ABA Yearbook. (1970)
    • The Washington Senators MLB Yearbook. (1968)
    • Ugandan currency with Idi Amin’s picture. (1973)
    • Tom Van Arsdale basketball card. (1970)
    • “Okie from Muskogee” sheet music. (1969)
    • California Golden Seals hockey magazine. (1972)
    • Beatles Film Festival Magazine (1978)
    • ABA Pictorial (1968-69)
    • Tom Seaver’s Baseball Is My Life. (1973)
    • Hockey Digest (1973)
    • World’s Fair Guide (1964)
    • World’s Fair Guide (1939)
    • Buffalo Braves Yearbook (1972-73)
    • New York Nets Yearbook (1976-77)
    • “Tom Dooley” sheet music.

      • Tags: ,

      Recently Posted On NYC’s Craigslist

      September 22, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

      ?????????????

      The Divorce case I am about to tell you REALLY happened (Astoria)

      There was a guy I used to work with, he was and still is by the way, a dispatcher in a car service in NYC.

      He was married for 15 or so years to an Asian woman, a bit overweight with large breasts, from that marriage a son was produced, he is 15 years old today.

      The marriage was ok for the first 11 years, they did have their ups and downs but nowhere near what went on during the last 4 years of the marriage. The wife withheld sex from her husband for FOUR YEARS. She continuously turned him down, it got to the point where he she would come to bed in a sexy night gown and lay next to him, he would reach over to hold her, she would complain she’s “not in the mood” or “tired and doesn’t feel sexual” then she would turn over and lay on her side, he would masturbate to release pent-up sexual stress and frustration. Finally he asked for a divorce and even said they didn’t have to drag it through the court. All he wanted her to do was for her to pay for his son to go to private school and that’s it. He didn’t want her money. But she said “no”. So he went and filed for divorce anyway and hired a good divorce lawyer who found out to his amazement, that his wife had already filed for divorce a month ago. What game was his wife playing?? You will soon find out. . . . .

      Speed forward to divorce court, the irreconcilable differences and lack of sex came out and then there was the financial issues.. It came out in court that the wife who worked for a financial company made 120 thousand dollars a year, the husband made 41 thousand a year. The husband paid 90% of the bills in the home! He paid for the rent, utilities, clothing for his son, a car note and insurance and groceries. The only thing the wife paid for each MONTH was the cable bill as she liked to watch the lifetime channel, cooking and reality shows. Oh and the husband recently started paying for his son to go to private school as well. I am not sure how much that costs but I have heard it can cost 1200 and more a month.

      The wife got a 10 thousand dollar Christmas bonus last year while the husband didn’t get a bonus due to the state of the economy and the car service business slowing down.

      The Judge who was a woman by the way, was taken back as to how much the husband was paying for during the marriage as compared to the wife. Which led her to inquire about the whereabouts of the christmas bonus the wife got, where was the money? The wife didn’t have an answer she told her lawyer that there was only about 1 thousand left from it and couldn’t account for the rest as she gave money to her family and friends and lost track of who got how much money.

      Then there’s the issue of the wife as she had a 401k and a pension coming from her employer when she retires.

      The judge was furious. She awarded the husband, the following:

      1) The wife has to give half of the money she received from the Christmas Bonus.

      2) The wife was ordered by the court she has to pay alimony to the husband, how much I am not sure

      3) When the wife retires half of her 401k AND her pension check goes to her husband

      The judge also ordered if there’s any other money found hidden or stashed away by the wife that money will be subject to the divorce proceedings as the husband was straight forward with his financial status, all paperwork and tax returns were in order.

      The wife, as told to me by the husband, broke down and cried in the courtroom.

      Many of you reading this may think I made this up as some kind of imaginary story of the husband coming out better after a divorce. No, I did NOT make this up it is 100% true. I have told other women about what happened and here is the response I would see, they would look out into space, like staring, then say in a low voice, “I am never getting married. . . . .”

      With all the women going to college today and many are making more money than the men they come across and date from time to time this could happen to them all the man or husband would have to do is foot a large percentage of the daily bills. Most of the guys I know make between 25- 60k tops. They are from all nationalities, all backgrounds, but the women such as myself earn far more than they they do. It actually has me rethinking if marriage and having children is even worth it. It’s no wonder more and more women are remaining single.

      More Craigslist ads:

        Afflictor Nation: Welcome Mongolia, Azerbaijan, Estonia, Trinidad and Tobago and Oman!

        September 21, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

        Kim Jong-il and his lackeys look to the skies, hoping to prevent the arrival of Afflictor.

        Yesterday’s traffic numbers tell us that Mongolia, Azerbaijan, Estonia, Trinidad and Tobago and Oman had citizens visit the idiot site known as Afflictor for the first time, lowering those countries to our level the way many great nations and some really sketchy ones before them have. Of course, that means there’s pretty much only one goal left for us: North Korea.

        We’ve broken through a lot of walls during the site’s existence, even scoring quite a bit of traffic from that censorship-crazy superpower known as China, but North Korea, which the horrible regime of Kim Jong-il has turned into a godawful hellhole, has evaded us.  Perhaps the one place on Earth where George Orwell’s 1984 came true, North Korea, under the creepy overlord Kim, is unhealthy, dangerous and oppressive in almost every way. Since the country is in near-total lockdown, it is tough for Afflictor to permeate.

        So, if you have a kindly aunt in North Korea with a dial-up modem, please ask her to head for our URL. Sooner or later, you will fall under our spell, North Korea, and become part of Afflictor Nation!

        Featured Video: “The First And Only Practical Robot From SynPet” (1989)

        September 20, 2010 in Misc., Science/Tech, Urban Studies, Videos | Permalink

        Robert Popper outdoes himself again with this commercial for a walking, talking robot named Newton who resembles a creepy, intrusive washing machine. These lonely, hapless families are thrilled to have Newton in their homes, but in due time he will turn on them and murder them all in their sleep.

        More Videos:

        Tags:

        Recently Posted On NYC’s Craigslist

        September 20, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

        "The worst part was the BLOOD." (Image by Idlir Fida.)

        CRAIGSLIST HORROR STORY – $100 (Midtown West)

        I just got up at five AM to clean a couch. I woke up in the middle of the night and eventually decided to just get up, because I could not stand the fact that the smell of urine, yes urine, was on that couch.

        I got this couch off craigslist. Buyer beware! It might seem awkward but it might be a good idea to take a sniff of the couch you are going to buy. Or don’t buy a couch secondhand at all. I went to ikea today for the first time and saw a comparable couch for just a little more.

        The urine was not even the worst part. The worst part was the BLOOD. Yes, blood. All over the cushion on the right part, and some on the left. I discovered this when I tried to remove the covers for washing. I was not able to get the covers off because the zipper is too close to the frame on the front right. The left cover I can’t get off either. I know they do come off because there is blood on the cushion, but the cover is white and with no blood on the inside. So the owner must have gotten them off for cleaning.

        When I emailed him about it, he said maybe the blood was from a mover’s hand. (What? And the moving was another headache I won’t even get into) I don’t know how he could possibly own this couch and not know that the entire cushion was covered in BLOOD. And to my question about how exactly to get the cover off, because it is stuck on the bottom right, he replied obtusely “the covers come off for cleaning.” I feel like I am talking to a robot that just spits the same answer at you and only has one line to say. I sent him a clear explanation of the situation- did not even blame him for not telling me about the blood- and he just gives this line back.

        I got this couch on Saturday morning and spent Saturday night cleaning it. I took a break (and let it dry) on Sunday but then woke up in the middle of the night and finally got up to clean the cover as it was, partially unzippered from the couch. I just put some dishwashing soap on a sponge and wiped it over. It absorbed into the microfiber and I dont even know how to rinse it out properly.

        I’ve spent several hours now cleaning this disgusting couch and needless to say it wasn’t worth it. I want to warn people on craigslist not to make my mistake. Don’t let anyone rush you through a purchase, and thoroughly examine the item before buying! Don’t be too polite to ask questions. If at all in doubt, don’t buy it. And if at all possible just buy a new couch. There were couches at ikea for $149 and $200. They may not be the exact or ideal couch you want, but at least they will not be biohazards!!

          “Highlights” From Another Week Of Afflictor Crap

          September 17, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

          Afflictor: Making women in burqas smile broadly since 2009. (Image by Rama.)

          Listeria: Top 12 Predictions For The Next Century In The December 1900 Brooklyn Daily Eagle

          September 17, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

          I hardly ever repost anything, but I doubt most of you were readers in the early days of the site when I published this one. It still amuses me.

          My pneumatic tube was destroyed by a tomahawk.

          I got my grubby, ink-stained hands on a special supplement from the December 30, 1900 issue of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle, which bore the headline: “Things Will Be So Different A Hundred Years Hence.” The papers’ editors used that section to predict life on Earth in the year 2000. Some of the prognostications worked out better than others, but the whole fascinating thing reads like an Onion parody. Here are the 12 most interesting headlines:

          • Liquid Air Will Open Up A New World of Wonders
          • New York To Be The World’s Metropolis
          • Interest In Music Will Increase Constantly
          • Mail By Pneumatic Tubes A Possibility For All Houses In Future
          • Women To Have The Ballot
          • Women To Be Homemakers
          • Base Ball, The National Game, Is Steadily Declining
          • Automobiles And Airships The Twentieth Century Vehicles
          • Man To Live Longer And Be Happier Owing To Use Of Plant Foods Only
          • Science May Find Means To Bring Dead To Life
          • International Court To Prevent War
          • Wars To Be Waged As Of Old: We Will Revert To Using Tomahawks And Shotguns

          Read other Listeria lists.

          Recently Posted On NYC’s Craigslist

          September 16, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

          Mining in Montana, 1889.

          OLD WEST SILVER BAR – $500 (tx)

          i present this wonderfull rare silver ingot/bar this bar is 6 ounces i do not take bank checks no scammers please i only ship with signature confrimation/tracking/insurace and i prefer we talk on the phone to insure trust before we do business togather. please SIRIOUS INQUIREYS ONLY

          More Craigslist ads:

          The Best Afflictor Search Engine Keyphrase Ever

          September 13, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

          A lot of search engine keyphrases have brought readers to Afflictor during the site’s existence. But a keyphrase I found in the raw data this morning is easily the best one ever. It reads: “witch from sword in the stone looks like snooki.” I don’t really see the resemblance. I think it will be at least two or three years before Snooki looks like that. But you be the judge.

          Stoned. (Image by Amy Nicole Waltney.)

          "Sword in the Stone." (Image by Disney.)

          More Fake Snooki News:

          Tags:

          Majorie (Fricke) Ahearn Was A Mother Of Six And One Of The First Female Lawyers In San Diego

          September 13, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

          I came across this obituary for the pioneering lawyer Margie Ahearn in the September 26 La Jolla Light. The mother of six children, she came into her legal career later in life. An excerpt:

          “Marjorie ‘Marge’ Fricke Ahern, a long time resident of La Jolla, passed away peacefully August 15, 2010, after a brief bout with cancer at the age of 86 years. She was preceded in death by her husband Jim on October 15, 2009.

          Marge was born and raised in Altadena, California, and spent many happy summers on Catalina Island. It was there she met Roger Morehart whom she married in 1942, and had her first son Fritz Ahern who was born in Hollywood. Following the birth of her first son, she attended UCLA where she earned her bachelor’s degree in English and then taught elementary school in Brawley, CA, for several years.

          After WWII, Marge met Jim, her husband of 58 years, on Catalina Island. They were married in Altadena, CA, in 1951, and lived in Long Beach, CA, where their five children were born, before moving to La Jolla in 1960.

          In 1964, when the youngest of her six kids went off to first grade, Marge attended Cal Western Law School and became one of the first female attorneys in San Diego. She practiced law in La Jolla for several years and eventually moved her practice to downtown San Diego. She also taught legal aspects of real estate at a local community college. Marge loved her work so much that she was still going to her downtown office at the spry age of 84.

          Marge loved to travel with her ‘buddy’ Jim and kept extensive journals of her trips. She was a voracious reader, a practice that she encouraged in her own children. Tending her garden, walking to Mt. Soledad cross, spending time with her family, and a gentle breaststroke in the ocean were her favorite ways to relax.”

          Tags:

          Miscellaneous Media: Miniature Aircraft Quarterly (1998)

          September 13, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

          Combining airsickness and emphysema.

          I don’t have any interest in miniature aircraft let alone an entire newsletter dedicated to aviation-themed ashtrays, but I’m always interested in the people behind any type of tiny obsession. This 23-page 1998 edition of Miniature Aircraft Quarterly, which displays photos and brief descriptions of more than 80 such ashtrays, is the handiwork of a colorful character named Geoffrey “GR” Webster. He publishes this periodical exclusively for the members of the International Miniature Aircraft Collector’s Society (I.M.A.C.S.). I found this self-penned bio about him online:

          “Geoffrey R Webster, or ‘GR’ as he is known in the collecting field, has amassed one of the largest collections of toy aircraft in the world. After serving in Vietnam as a combat pilot and double DFC winner commanding the Mustang Gun Ship Platoon of the 68th Assault Helicopter Company, he later graduated from the University of Chicago with a Masters Degree in Business.

          He rose from a junior sales position to Chief Executive Officer of Givaudan Fragrances, with offices in Paris, Geneva and New York. In his spare time he founded The Miniature Aircraft Quarterly, a full color magazine and club for toy airplane collectors

          In 2000, he was elected to the Fragrance Foundation’s Hall of Fame and retired at 55 to pursue portrait painting, raising a family, and collecting miniature aircraft. For eight years after retiring he owned and flew a Lake Turbo Renegade amphibious flying boat around the entire United States.

          GR Webster lives mainly in France.”

          More Miscellaneous Media:

        • Howeird Stern 50 Ways to Rank Your Mother LP. (1982)
        • A Knight’s Hard Day. (1964)
        • The Lowbrow Reader remembers Ol’ Dirty Bastard. (2004)
        • LP record about the 1972 Oakland A’s.
        • Madison Square Garden professional wrestling program. (1981)
        • Spy magazine. (1989)
        • Artis Gilmore ABA basketball card. (1973-74)
        • San Francisco cable car ticket stub. (1990s)
        • Bronx high school newspaper. (1947)
        • Mad magazine. (1966)
        • Vancouver Blazers hockey guide. (1974-75)
        • John Hummer NBA card. (1973)
        • Carolina Cougars ABA Yearbook. (1970)
        • The Washington Senators MLB Yearbook. (1968)
        • Ugandan currency with Idi Amin’s picture. (1973)
        • Tom Van Arsdale basketball card. (1970)
        • “Okie from Muskogee” sheet music. (1969)
        • California Golden Seals hockey magazine. (1972)
        • Beatles Film Festival Magazine (1978)
        • ABA Pictorial (1968-69)
        • Tom Seaver’s Baseball Is My Life. (1973)
        • Hockey Digest (1973)
        • World’s Fair Guide (1964)
        • World’s Fair Guide (1939)
        • Buffalo Braves Yearbook (1972-73)
        • New York Nets Yearbook (1976-77)
        • “Tom Dooley” sheet music.

          • Tags:

          Recently Posted On NYC’s Craigslist

          September 11, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

          "Aric, my scoundrel of a roommate." (Image by Pawyilee.)

          3 Hr Pedicab Tour of Central Park for Lawyer in Small Claims Court (Brooklyn)

          Aric, my scoundrel of a roommate, left without paying his May/June rent. I will be facing him in Small Claims Court in Brooklyn on September 15 at 6pm.

          In exchange for legal representation by a tri-state lawyer, I will do a 3 hour, 6 mile pedicab tour of the entirety of Central Park. I am a licensed tour guide and have been doing this for six years. I can take up to three people. I am usually paid around $300 for doing this full park tour. For more information, please go to Centralparkpedicabtours.com

          I am confident that I will win this case but I am just worried about thinking on my feet when I’m nervous and angry before the arbitrator. My evidence includes:

          • A scanned copy of the May check which was so badly written the bank wouldn’t take it.
          • A recording I made of him saying he wasn’t going to pay his rent and there was nothing I could do about it.
          • The testimony of another roommate who can confirm that ‘Aric’ lived there and payed $750 month. Aric also confessed to this roommate that he knew he was doing the wrong thing but figured he could get away with it.

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          “Highlights” From Another Week Of Afflictor Crap

          September 10, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

          Afflictor: Bringing great joy to clowns since 2009. (Image by steenslag.)

          Excerpted: “The Museum of Soviet Arcade Games”

          September 10, 2010 in Misc., Science/Tech, Urban Studies | Permalink

          Let's play Turnip Strength Tester! (Image by A Dangerous Business.)

          When I was a child, I once got to go to a basement-level arcade game parlor at the McGraw-Hill Building (though I always wrongly remember it at the General Motors Plaza). There was a cute long-running slide-show called The New York Experience playing upstairs and an essentially deserted arcade downstairs. It was full of insane ganes from days gone by (many of them made of wood) that I have never seen again. I have no idea what happened to it.

          The folks at A Dangerous Business blog went much further afield to have a similar experience when they headed to a small technical university outside of Moscow to visit the fun and dingy Museum of Soviet Arcade Games. Games that have “turnip” in their name just aren’t as popular since the Soviet Empire’s demise. (Thanks to boing boing for pointing me toward the post.) The following is an excerpt from the piece about the trip:

          “Alexander Stakhanov, the guy who met us at the door and one of the four people that started this museum, gave us a quick rundown about which machines work and which don’t, how to put coins in (some are finnicky) and the general lay of the land. We actually understood most of it, though he was speaking rapidly and entirely in Russian. It wasn’t until after he was done and I said to Anjel ‘maybe we can leave our coats here’ that he realized that we were American.

          He apologized for being able to speak so little English and we apologized for not being able to speak any Russian. He ran through a few of the key points again, handed us each a small plastic cup of 15-Kopek coins and excused himself to duck into the other room. At this point it was just a little after 7:30 and we were the only ones there. I took as many photos as I could before I just had to put down the camera and start playing.

          This was one of the first games we tried. It’s called ‘Репка Силомер’ (Repka Silomer) or ‘Turnip Strength Tester.’ Later that night, we showed the photos to our homestay host, hoping for some sort of explanation. She had never played the game but told us that the concept was based on an old Russian children’s story.”

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          Media Studies: Like YouTube, But Even Better

          September 10, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

          The Time Machine goes all the way back to 1860.

          Justin Johnson and some friends created the incredibly useful YouTube Time Machine, which allows you to sort through tons of YouTube videos, enabling you to see events specifically from 1913 or 1947 or 2008. The great idea was hatched in a Brooklyn bar named the Alligator Lounge and sketched out on the back of a napkin. Below is the first video that came up when I searched under “1902.” (Thanks to kottke.org.)

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          Featured Video: “Busta LeGros” (2004)

          September 9, 2010 in Misc., Videos | Permalink

          I don’t know how to describe this video by Chicago-based sculptor Joseph Siegenthaler, except to say that it’s mesmerizing and incredibly human despite its oddness–or perhaps because of it. (Thanks to Boing Boing.)

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