"It'll be a sacrifice." (Image by Gage Skidmore.)
I’m giving up condoms and liver for Lent.
It’ll be a sacrifice, but I’ll pull through it.
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"Where's the route to an alternate world?" (Image by T bone.)
Alternate universe for people who don’t want to be people
If you’ve considered the illogical thought that maybe this world just isn’t for you, how do you deal with wanting nothing in particular out of life? Where’s the route to an alternate world for people who understand how insignificant their existences are and have no hobbies and interests to distract themselves from that.
Some search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:
Afflictor: Thinking gynecological exams in Virginia have changed recently.
- 2 Recent Movies I Liked Now On Home Video:
Drive, The Elephant in the Living Room.
- It took only seven years for this photo to become incredibly dated.
- Old Print Articles: “The Widow of Abraham Lincoln Adjudged Insane” (1875) + “Explosion of the Flying Machine” (1850).
- A brief note from 1851 about a sneezing girl.
- Classic Photographs: Margaret Sanger, Exiting Courthouse (1917).
- Featured Videos: Akio Morita for American Express (1985) + Wernher von Braun and Walt Disney collaborate (1955) Che Guevara on Face the Nation (1964) + The Harvard Monolithic Bee takes flight + Barry Goldwater creates the template for culture warriors (1964) + Anthony Burgess discusses radical students (1972) + Conan’s Lincoln Money Shot Channel + Evelyn Wood Reading Dynamics ad (1979) + What’s My Line? with designer Elsa Schiaparelli (1952) + Solar energy in the 1970s and now + Salvador Dali was almost crazy + Mike Wallace investigates a UFO cover-up (1958) + Man makes robot porno + Goodyear’s “Inflatoplane” demo (1958).
- Recently Posted on NYC’s Craigslist: I came up with a new euphemism for “fondling” + When I’m drunk, I sorta build robots + I’ve yet to master the hard sell + I’m keeping my guns.
- Charles Duhigg reveals how Target learns your personal info.
- Amateur stathead Ed Weiland predicted Jeremy Lin’s success.
- Paul Krugman thinks America’s financial suffering is gratuitous.
- The ability to erase memories will soon be a reality.
- George Dyson remembers his introduction to computers.
- Is Ron Paul a harbinger of post-party politics?
- A billboard in London can filter ads based on gender.
- Google is set to introduce Terminator-style specs.
- Hackers think they’re going to colonize the moon.
- A 2002 Malcolm Gladwell article about reading facial expressions.
- Telecoms are using legislation to manipulate the free market.
- This week’s Afflictor keyphrase searches.
Whenever I’m On The Subway. . .
. . . I have to fight the urge to tickle people. Is there something wrong with me?
"Can be handy if a problem comes up."
Knives
Please read the whole post, and if you see something you like, email me. NOT SELLING TO ANYONE UNDER AGE 18.
STILETTO STREET KNIFE– Handle is 6 inches, wood and stainless steel. Blade is 4 Inches, stainless steel. These are NOT legal to walk around with, so I wouldnt “reccommend” it. It is a flip open knife, not button operated. It is in beautiful condition, just laying on my shelf.*SHARP*- 20 dollars, email for pictures.
BOWIE KNIFE WITH KNUCKLES.- Comes in a sheath (not really durable quality). The handle of the blade is a “brass knuckle design”. This is a big knife, and not only is it “illegal” to carry, but you probably can’t conceal it anyway. However, beautiful knife, great design on the handle, feels powerful to hold and stainless steel. Truly a man’s knife, you’ll love the feel of it. Not razor sharp, but sharp enough to do alot of damage so handle with caution.Can be used as a hunting knife. 30 dollars and email for pictures.
REPLICA SCOTTISH ROYAL DAGGER– This is a replica of daggers that soldiers used to carry in Scotland. Just a beautiful thing itself, The blade is NOT sharp, and this is mostly a wall piece or just on display somewhere. Really is nice to look at. Email for pictures. 15 dollars.
NECK KNIVES– Not luxiorious things, but can be handy if a problem comes up. One is a metal scorpion hanging from a chain. It’s tail is a knife and concealable. Not very sharp, and blade is very small, but it is an impressive thing to show off, and can also be handy since it is a little sharp and pointed.It does not look at all like there is a knife, and its is completly legal to carry. Email for pictures. 8 dolllars. Very similiar is a dragons head, breathing fire, and the fire is a concealed knife. Once again, barely sharp, but does have a point, is concealable and its pretty cool to show off. 8 dollars. email for pictures
THE KUMA FINGER CLAW– I saved the best for last. I cant offer a very detailed discription, but email and I will send you pictures or a video showing it off. Basically it is a metal claw you wear on one finger, has bendable joints so you can bend your finger while wearing it, the tip is a claw, with a VERY sharp point. On top of the claw, approximately on the top of your finger, is a black, stainless stee blade. It is RAZOR sharp so, do NOT play with this thing. Very beautiful thing just to look at or wear once in a while. Feels powerful, erven though it is only on one finger. I believe it is “llegal” to carry, and for good reason. This thing would destroy someone. 30 dollars, email for pictures or maybe a video.
Host issues. Damned host. I’ll post some stuff now.
"MUST SEE!!"
NEW DISCOUNTED FEMALE MANNEQUIN – DAMAGED – $65 (BROOKLYN, NYC)
LOOKING FOR A FEMALE MANNEQUIN? WELL LOOK NO FURTHER. WE CURRENTLY HAVE A NEW DAMAGED FEMALE MANNEQUIN THAT WILL ALSO BE DISCONTINUED. BROWN SKIN WITH BOTH ARMS BY THE SIDE – DAMAGED. CRACK UNDER RIGHT ARM, CRACK IN THE PAINT UNDER LEFT ARM, CRACK UNDER THE NECK AND ON THE BACK OF THE NECK. CHIP OF PAINT MISSING FROM THE FRONT OF THE HEAD (HAIR AREA), CORE (PLASTIC) BROKEN – WITHOUT THE CORE TORSO CANNOT BE DISPLAYED ON TOP OF LEGS. MUST SEE!!
"AND BRAIN EYES."
ROBOT CLAWS – $280 (NY)
THESE ARE A SET OF CLAWS WE TRIED TO MAKE. THESE ARE A GOOD START. LET US KNOW WE CAN MAKE YOU A SET IF YOU NEED.
WE ALSO HAVE TORSO HOOKS FOR THE SAME ROBOT.
AND BRAIN EYES.
Some search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:
Afflictor: Thinking the GOP position on contraception may complicate pony rides.
- Jon Voight may not truly understand his feelings about race.
- Is the wedge issue in America a thing of the past?
- Old Print Articles: St. Valentine was beaten with clubs and beheaded (1884) + Professional bee trackers (1900).
- Classic Photograph: Flannery O’Connor, in a Bright Mood (1947) + Millie and Christine McCoy, Nightingales (1890s).
- Featured Videos: J.G. Ballard discusses technology’s dark side + Ultra-realistic artificial skin + Rap reaches its apex with Public Enemy (1988) + What’s My Line? with Gary Cooper (1959) and Walter Winchell (1952) + DARPA’s LS3 bot can haul 100 pounds of equipment + Jimmy Stewart discusses solar energy (1938) + Ronald Reagan, being conservative (1966-67) + Relatively cheap supercomputer + Robotic arm made of Legos – Pink Floyd meets Dick Clark (1967) + Bob Dylan and Joan Baez at the March on Washington (1963).
- Recently Posted on NYC’s Craigslist: I’m going through a rough divorce + Finally, a merchant who’s good at customer service + Do you own scissors but not pants? + Being a disappointment to one woman isn’t enough for me.
- Information expert Venkat Rao predicts the end of the Corporate Age.
- USC professors make it feasible to build a colony on the moon.
- The recent book that best describes our brave new technological world.
- Timothy Noah analyzes upward mobility in America.
- How to transfer data from one computer to another with just a touch.
- Peter Thiel addresses the consequences of income inequality.
- Has TV news been misreading the contraception brouhaha?
- In 1968, Pan Am began the First Moon Flight’s Club.
- Evan Selinger looks at technology-enhanced memory.
- Nick Kristoff finds common ground with social theorist Charles Murray.
- Howard Berkes tried to stop the 1986 Challenger space shuttle launch.
- An original Apollo moon experiment is still ongoing.
- Paul Solotaroff remembers the early days of Gold’s Gym.
- A brief note from 1897 about a two-headed cat.
- TV talk-show guests want to be included in viral videos.
- Slate recalls a shadowy benefactor of traditional metaphysics.
- This week’s Afflictor keyphrase searches.
"I want to live and take care of them both."
I love two woman
I am married to a wonderful woman in an open marriage for 20 years i recently realized i am falling in love with her sister inlaw.I want to live and take care of them both my wife is perfectly fine with this arrangement i hope this works because i truly love them both equally.
"Hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars." (Image by Efloch.)
a mans fairy tale
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?” The Princess said, “No!!!” And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and banged skinny long-legged big-titted broads and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and banged cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and ate spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was frikin cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.
The end.
haircut
Looking for a haircut by a professional nude hairdresser. Pls provide picture and your rate. Your location. Thanks.
"Where are you getting this shit?"
I hate my drug dealer (Brooklyn)
I wish I never fucking met you. When I went to buy from you the first time, I couldn’t believe how cheap your prices were and how you were willing to meet anywhere, anytime. This is surely a bust, I thought. At least another rip-off maybe. But, no. You’re always up, willing to meet and in supply with low prices. Where are you getting this shit? Don’t you have a life? You’re ruining mine.
Some search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:
Afflictor: Thinking women may be forced to have a few extra children during a Santorum Administration.
- 3 Recent Films I Liked Now on Home Video: Bellflower, Contagion, Tuesday, After Christmas.
- A better use for Gandhi’s likeness than selling cheap computers at a high human cost.
- A brief note about the furious reaction to the Clint Eastwood Super Bowl commercial.
- A brief note about M.I.A.’s profane gesture at the Super Bowl.
- Old Print Articles: Maniac wreaks havoc on a street car (1890) + Treatment of mentally ill people in history (1893).
- Classic Photographs: Tim Mara, New York Giants Founder, Watching the Ponies (1934) + Elsa Schiaparelli, With Mannequin, Wearing Shoe Hat (1937).
- Featured Videos: The madness of Fischer-Spassky (1972) + Barbie is a terrible doctor and a terrible astronaut + Louis CK hating on Twitter + Mike Douglas with Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly (1976) + Chuck Yeager on What’s My Line? (1964) + Clement Greenberg not getting Pop Art + BMW spot by Die Antwoord cinematographer Rob Malpage + Walter Cronkite questions Carl Sagan about UFOs (1966) + Jesse Owens back in America after quashing Hitler (1936) + Intellivoice spoke to you but could not answer you (1982).
- Recently Posted on NYC’s Craigslist: I have too much disposable income + This probably won’t end well + How to be accomplished in America + Even though you only want the $100, I am going to explain the full situation.
- The first GPS for automobiles was commercially available in 1909.
- Eric Kleinberg looks at the ever-increasing number of people living alone.
- A brief David Remnick anecdote about President Obama.
- Sally Adee of New Scientist experiences brain enhancement.
- NASA Biocapsules provide automatic diagnosis and time-release medicine.
- Fracture Putty can heal bones within days.
- Richard Feynman saw the miniaturization of computers in 1960.
- Austrian software designer Harald Haas streams data with light bulbs.
- Amazon is launching a brick-and-mortar retail store in Seattle.
- Composer Philip Glass gets a new profile in the Village Voice.
- The education gap between haves and have-nots is growing in America.
- George Esper, legendary Vietnam War reporter, passes away.
- Fortune profiles the little-known mogul behind 5-Hour Energy.
- A brief note from 1856 about a Native-American chief with two mouths.
- This week’s Afflictor keyphrase searches.
"I am handsome in a Telly Savalas way."
My Swing Doesn’t Suck (Men’s Grill Front Street)
I love golf. To describe me as a golf fanatic would not be a push. I am handsome in a Telly Savalas way, an excellent dresser and love the nightlife that Front Street has to offer. I am very much like Joe Namath. I went to college in Houston , am a successful financial consultant, married and I have a beautiful newborn child. I made the decision to accompany a sandbagging scumbag/hack contractor for a swing analysis. While there, I got my own swing reviewed. I tend to be a long hitter and it only goes south after several Johnny Blacks or Arnold Palmers in styrafoam cups. The instructor in question reviewed my swing and told me to take a break from the game as Peyton Manning is doing and return in 5 years and start all over. I am devastated. I am fresh back from Naples, Florida coming off the Lynchie Tour only to hear that I suck!! I feel like Don Cornelius just before he pulled the trigger on his Saturday Night Special. Why am I taking this so personally?
•••••••••
"I know I know." (Image by T bone.)
HELP student needs clean urine! will $$$$$$pay! – $100 (Chelsea)
i know i know……this is ridiculous….. but please hit me up if you can help
if morally unacceptable i understand…..however…..otherwise i could REALLY use you’re help
and I’ll be MORE than willing to return the favor $$$
(and explain the full situation)
"Quite the accomplishment."
Polyamory, the *new* way to love. . . (brooklyn)
There are countless amounts of successful couples that have been in polyamorous relationships. They tend to have very different ideas about sex, love and how they even view themselves as a whole. They can openly confess their love for multiple partners while still maintaining a loving, secure relationship with their key companion. This in itself is quite the accomplishment.
"No jokes."
i have a very weird unusual desperate ?
where can i sell my soul to the devil?? or where can i meet a demon?? plz help want something from satan no jokes..
Some search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:
Afflictor: Imagining what the 99% must look like to Mitt Romney.
- 3 Recent Films I Liked Now on Home Video: Higher Ground, The Black Power Mixtape 1967-1975, Senna.
- Old Print Articles: French man communicates with animals, hates priests (1891) + Tall people are not necessarily smarter than shorter people (1901).
- Classic Photographs: Breathing Lessons at Battle Creek Sanitarium (Early 1900s).
- Featured Videos: Kenner portable record player commercial (1967) + Alistair Cook visits the New York Times newsroom (1954) + Frank Lloyd Wright being totally wrong three times in under two minute + Gene Kelly and “Sugar” Ray Robinson tap dance together (1958) + Tiny drones operate within a swarm + Saul Bass reimagines the Bell Telephone logo (1969) + Chatty bot makes creepy conversation + Elsa Lanchester meets Dick Cavett (1970) + Assembly line robots repair themselves + Richard Nixon discusses the GOP’s future (1967) + Carrie Brownstein had a small part in a 2001 Miranda July short + What’s My Line? with Jacques Cousteau (1956), Jack Dempsey (1965).
- Recently Posted on NYC’s Craigslist: I’m Mitt Romney and I approved this message + When we meet in person I’m probably going to rob you + We love football and our sex parts are nice + No matter how it appears, I really have good intentions.
- Christopher Glazek unleashes a seething indictment of U.S. prisons.
- Hunter S. Thompson thought Big Sur was headed downhill in 1969.
- Adam Curtis uncovers the utopian beginnings of the cruise-ship industry.
- Richard A. Oppel Jr. visits gun country (a.k.a. Ron Paul country) in Nevada.
- Dorothy Kilgallen’s final TV appearance before her mysterious death.
- Is GPS diminishing our natural navigational abilities?
- Transcranial Direct Current Stimulation may make us smarter.
- Nick Carr makes interesting points about social networking.
- Brian Phillips recalls an 1810 prizefight that influenced modern sports.
- Mass hysteria is likely behind a mystery illness in Upstate New York.
- Jonathan Franzen does not care one bit for e-readers.
- Professor Richard White opposes a costly California high-speed railway.
- In 1989, Keith Haring recalled the start of his subway graffiti career.
- Berkeley researchers translate brainwaves into words.
- Typewriters, like all tools and technology, refuse to totally die out.
- Afflictor Nation: Great Britain rules in January.
- This week’s Afflictor keyphrase searches.
Mitt is sending Pinkertons to murder these hoboes.
Pity me (Fairfield)
While you pity me I will be browsing through my extensive wine cellar, looking for the right wine for my wife and our girlfriend to enjoy while we get freaky later on. The only decision I have to make today is which bedroom (there are six) we will use tonight. Poor me, what a pity!!!
Fairfield really is one hell of a town.
1% with 9″
"My guys would love to eat some fresh roadkill."
Roadkill for my dogs (Phillipsburg)
I’m looking for deer to feed to my dogs if you see any dead deer. My guys would love to eat some fresh roadkill…& I need to save some money on dog food so I can pay my vets for services. Thanks Peter 3dogs.