2010

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Bettie B. will earn about $1,600 in her first year as a telephone operator. Perhaps now she can afford to have that hideous neck scar removed.

I briefly got my greasy, grimy hands on a yellowed October 10, 1947 copy of The Admiral, a daily newspaper of amazingly high quality that was published by the students and teachers at Christopher Columbus High School in the Bronx. Columbus was at the time (still is?) a school that excelled in writing, oration and theater, turning out Anne Bancroft and Sal Mineo, among many other Broadway and film actors who never got quite as famous. (It should also be noted that David “Son of Sam” Berkowitz attended Columbus, though he was definitely not representative of the student body.)

The articles focus on school happenings and civic matters occurring beyond academic walls. And because not everyone could be Anne Bancroft, there were ads on the back page for jobs that might interest graduating seniors. An excerpt from an advertisement seeking telephone operators:

“Bettie B. will be happy in an essential job that’s ‘right’ for her. Naturally, girls who have been in the thick of things in high school affairs want a good ‘first job’. They want to go where their work is necessary and appreciated, where they will have every chance to use their ingenuity and intelligence. Telephone operators earn the full salary of $32 for a five-day week during training, $35 in eighteen months with further increases thereafter. There are many other jobs open, too. These jobs, as well as operating jobs, all have frequent pay increases and paid vacations. Work with friendly people, Ask your guidance counselor about us. Then make it a date. Ask your local operator for Enterprise 10,000–a free call!”

More Miscellaneous Media:

  • Mad magazine. (1966)
  • Vancouver Blazers hockey guide. (1974-75)
  • John Hummer NBA card. (1973)
  • Carolina Cougars ABA Yearbook. (1970)
  • The Washington Senators MLB Yearbook. (1968)
  • Ugandan currency with Idi Amin’s picture. (1973)
  • Tom Van Arsdale basketball card. (1970)
  • Okie from Muskogee” sheet music. (1969)
  • California Golden Seals hockey magazine. (1972)
  • Beatles Film Festival Magazine (1978)
  • ABA Pictorial (1968-69)
  • Tom Seaver’s Baseball Is My Life. (1973)
  • Hockey Digest (1973)
  • World’s Fair Guide (1964)
  • World’s Fair Guide (1939)
  • Buffalo Braves Yearbook (1972-73)
  • New York Nets Yearbook (1976-77)
  • “Tom Dooley” sheet music.
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    Afflictor: Making wizened women in chadors appear disconsolate since 2009. (Image by Hamed Saber.)

    Mmm mmm good.

    William P. MacFarland was a product marketing manager at the Campbell Soup Company during the 1960s, when Andy Warhol’s silkscreened portraits of the iconic soup cans caused a sensation throughout the art world and entered into the popular consciousness. You might almost expect a big corporation to be tone deaf about the situation and get lawyered up. But instead MacFarland sent Warhol an admiring letter and some free cases of tomato soup. Below is the transcript of the correspondence, but you can see the actual missive at Letters of Note. (Thanks to boing boing for pointing me toward this post.)

    •••••

    Campbell SOUP Company

    CAMDEN 1, NEW JERSEY

    May 19, 1964

    Mr. A. Warhol
    1342 Lexington Avenue
    New York, New York

    Dear Mr. Warhol:

    I have followed your career for some time. Your work has evoked a great deal of interest here at Campbell Soup Company for obvious reasons.

    At one time I had hoped to be able to acquire one of your Campbell Soup label paintings – but I’m afraid you have gotten much too expensive for me.

    I did want to tell you, however, that we admired your work and I have since learned that you like Tomato Soup. I am taking the liberty of having a couple of cases of our Tomato Soup delivered to you at this address.

    We wish you continued success and good fortune.

    Cordially,

    (Signed, ‘William P. MacFarland’)

    William P. MacFarland
    Product Marketing Manager

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    Jean Claude Van Damme: But I don't have $25,000. (Image by Georges Biard.)

    Role in an action film…… – $25000 (Washington, DC)

    We are currently looking for final funds for a high quality/low budget action film. Check our website to see the quality of our work. We have worked with numerous Emmy winners on projects that have received distribition/pick-up.

    We are looking for the final $25k for an action film. It includes houses blowing up, a car chase through Georgetown into Virginia and back into DC that is spectacular, tons of gunshots, intrigue, and excitement all with a DC backdrop. Email me to see examples. Seriously, it will have as much action as many high budget action films. Can’t tell you how (proprietary info), but I can show you if you are serious about funding.

    If you are only looking for a role and don’t have the cash, we are always looking for interesting locations/skill sets. If you have access to a mansion or deserted warehouse or science lab or house that is still suffering from fire damage, or anything you think might make an interesting filming location, offer it up. Oops, forgot to mention we are shooting in Washington, DC. Guess that is important to mention, huh.

    In addition to a return on your monies, we offer the following:

    • Depending on how much you barter, we will provide a role for you or a friend, relative, girlfriend or boyfriend, animal, mistress, etc. It may be a speaking role and will be contractually guaranteed to make the final cut.
    • VIP status at DC premiere. Advertise your business on the red carpet backdrop. Hobnob with DC celebs and athletes.
    • Behind the scenes access – come to the castings, rehearsals, shooting, post party, etc. and hang out with the cast and crew
    • Executive Producer credit
    • A director’s chair with your name on it.

    Come on. The economy sucks. If you were to put it in the market, you’d lose it anyways. With this, you have a great chance to make money and you will definitely have fun.

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    Not one of those smiley conservatives. (Image by David Shankbone.)

    I guess I don’t follow the politics of playwrights closely enough, but my immediate reaction when I read David Mamet’s article, “Why I Am No Longer A ‘Brain-Dead Liberal,'” in the Village Voice a couple years back was: Mamet was a liberal?!? Having read his plays and watched his films, I always assumed that he was a right-wing guy. It wasn’t anything specific in his work, just a vibe I got from it. And who cares either way? He’s done a lot of great writing.

    Terry Teachout has an analysis of Mamet’s conversion in Commentary. (The piece is pegged to Mamet’s new book of essays, Theatre.) It’s an interesting read, though I don’t agree with Teachout’s conclusion that politically liberal critics will only interpret Mamet’s work from here on in through the prism of his political transformation. An excerpt about Mamet’s disdain for government subsidies for theater:

    “Conversely, Mamet dismisses state subsidy for the theatrical arts as no more than a means of propping up incompetent ‘champions of right thinking’ whose work would otherwise be incapable of attracting an audience. Such playwrights, he says, are purveyors of politically correct ‘pseudodramas’ that ‘begin with a conclusion (capitalism, America, men, and so on, are bad) and award the audience for applauding its agreement.’ For Mamet, such plays are the opposite of true theater, whose power lies not in its willingness to coddle our preconceptions but its unparalleled ability to shock us into seeing the world as it really is. ‘In the great drama,’ he writes, ‘we follow a supposedly understood first principle to its astounding and unexpected conclusion. We are pleased to find ourselves able to revise our understanding.'”

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    Doris Ulmann, like many great photographers, started out doing other things and rather haphazardly found her calling. Born in New York in 1882 and educated at Columbia University, Ulmann intended to teach psychology. Instead she ended up making portraits of intellectuals and writers and capturing the essence of rural culture in Appalachia, without condescension or romanticization. Below are a few of her images, but you can see more here.

    Shielded from the sun.

    Southern mountain man.

    Nice going, Einstein.

    Laborer's hands.

    Fellow photographer Clarence Hudson White.

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    The twisted folks at the Found Footage Festival dug up this jaw-dropping ’80s music video by the Glamour Boyz. I’m not sure, but I think the fellows might have been fans of Michael Jackson, especially that “Billie Jean” song. You can mock them all you want because their gigantic shoulder pads will protect them.

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    Sharron Angle: Photo fuzzy, as is her reasoning. (Image by Steve Wainstead.)

    Sharron Angle: We need people to really stand for faith and trust, not hope and change.

    Decoder: By telling people to not vote for change, I seem to be encouraging them to support my opponent, the incumbent Harry Reid. That can’t be good for me.

    Sharron Angle: Harry Reid is a consummate politician.

    Decoder: Unlike me. I’m a total stumblefuck.

    Sharron Angle: And these programs that you mentioned–that Obama has going with Reid and Pelosi pushing them forward–are all entitlement programs built to make government our God. And that’s really what’s happening in this country is a violation of the First Commandment.

    Decoder: Why wait to see if I’m elected before blurring the line between church and state?

    Sharron Angle: I know people are very frightened about what’s going on in this country.

    Decoder: Most of them are frightened of me.

    Sharron Angle: Harry Reid’s plan to save the Nevada economy is coked-up stimulus monkeys.

    Decoder: I’m trying to twist a legitimate university drug-research project that involves monkeys into a scandal for my political gain. According to the Washington Post: “Bonnie Davis, a spokeswoman for The Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center, told ABC the ‘small grant has helped protect very important research that will have significant impact on public health in regards to cocaine addiction and the issue of relapse.'”

    Please do not stop your cocaine research. I love science so very much. (Image by Jorge Perez.)

    Sharron Angle: [Harry Reid] reinvents himself at each one of his elections.

    Decoder: This time he’s running as the person who’s not the crazy lady.

    Sharron Angle: We know that once we have a majority that are dependent upon the government, we will lose our freedom.

    Decoder: But think of all the extra time we’ll have. We won’t have to rush around when buying cocaine for our monkeys.

    Sharron Angle: We need to have the press be our friend. We want them to ask the questions we want to answer so that they report the news the way we want it to be reported.

    Decoder: The press will probably never be my friend, but Harry Reid seems to like me more every time I open my mouth.

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    Greaves was a screen and stage actor when he moved to Canada to study filmmaking.

    William Greaves’ art film, Symbiopsychotaxiplasm Take One, was made in 1968 when patience with the Vietnam War was growing thin and the credibility gap of military and political leaders was ever widening. The director wanted to meditate on the revolt against authority that was in the air, so he wrote a purposely lousy, pseudo-Albee scene about a bickering husband and wife, hired a few pairs of unwitting actors to perform the parts in Central Park and turned on his camera. Oh, and he also had a second camera crew document the first and a third document the first and second. Then he waited for combustion.

    Frustratingly, the actors were too professional to turn on their director, even when he had one pair sing the ridiculous lines to each another. But luckily the crew, which wasn’t in on the setup, was not quite as polite. They stealthily met offset and filmed their bitch session, in which they labeled Greaves a bad director, writer and actor, as they inched ever closer to mutiny. A couple of alert crew members did question whether Greaves was purposely playing the fool. They were, of course, on to something.

    Toward the end of the film (a mix of narrative and documentary, often shown side by side in split-screen), the crew comes across a real-life homeless artist who has taken to sleeping in the park. He sums up the heart of the project without knowing anything about it. “It’s a movie,” the man says, “so who’s moving whom?” Like any other auteur (or leader), Greaves is ultimately doing the moving, but, unlike most, he’s open to examining the rectitude of that arrangement. (Available from Netflix and other outlets.)

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    Acrylic, oilstick and spray paint, by Jean-Michel Basquiat.

    YOU WON’T SEE THIS EVER AGAIN – $1200 (fLORIDA)

    Absolutely authentic Paint Brushes and Palette knife from the Late Jean Michel Basquiat
    Please Google his name,

    We were friends on maui, given to me before I took him to the airport, to go to Honolulu
    he never returned, died of overdose of Heroin, He left all of his painting supplies with me
    I can verify this story.

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    Paintbrushes: Not intended for dainty girl hands. (Image by Hans Bernhard.)

    It was in Brooklyn, New York, in November of 1900 that one of the most unimportant victories in the history of the women’s rights movement was won. Seriously, some lady wanted her house to be painted and her husband was really busy, so she did it herself. And everyone apparently went a little nuts because a woman dared to commit the shocking act of painting a house! People have always been terrible.

    An excerpt from a story about the so-called scandal, which ran in the Brooklyn Daily Eagle and is subtitled, “This Woman Doesn’t Propose to Pay a Man for Drinking Beer”:

    “Mrs. Charles W. Hollister, who is the wife of a carpenter well known in East New York, and who is the mother of an interesting family of children, is painting her own house at 113 Sheppard avenue. She says:

    ‘The painters all demand too much money for the work and they use inferior paint. My husband did not have time to do the work so I made up my mind to do it myself and don’t think it’s anybody’s business but my own.

    ‘I know all the neighbors are talking about me and men make remarks as they pass by that are not nice. I pay no attention to them. I don’t care to have a man around here with a pipe in his mouth, drinking beer half the time and his boss charging me for it. The whole matter is that I want the house painted to suit myself so I do the work.'”

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    For those unlucky few who can’t make it over to B.B. King’s in NYC tonight to see Peter Lemongello in person (yes, he’s really booked there), I present you with this 1976 “moon rock experience.” It’s $8.98 if you want the 8-track tape version. Don’t delay–order today! Thanks to PCL Linkdump for posting it.

    P.S. I recalled right after I added this post that Peter Lemongello had a cousin who was a mediocre baseball pitcher in the 1970s. His name was Mark Lemongello. What I didn’t know was that in 1982, Mark and another man kidnapped and robbed Peter and his brother, Mike, who was an ex-pro bowler. The criminals took a plea deal and were given seven years’ probation.

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    "Dont Eving Thank Off It" sign in New Orleans. (Image by Karen Apricot.)

    Jeff Deck is a college grad in his 20s who drove around America in search of typos on public signage. When he found particularly egregious errors, he would use markers and correction fluid to fix mistakes or he would confront the mistaken. Deck was arrested only once and somehow wasn’t repeatedly punched in the face. He did, however, open a Pandora’s box about teaching, race, class, the Internet and the ever-changing English language. Salon’s Thomas Rogers interviewed Deck about his spellchecking sojourn and The Great Typo Hunt, a book about the experience that he co-authored with Benjamin Herson. An excerpt from the Salon Q&A:

    Salon: Spelling mistakes are a big part of the way the English language has evolved–and been so successful on the global stage. Aren’t you also holding back language?

    Jeff Deck: We came under criticism from people at two different ends of the language philosophy spectrum. In our book we refer to it as the hawk versus hippie dilemma. You have grammar hawks who are ready to jump on anything that has the risk of being non-standard and call it a mistake, and, on the other hand, you have descriptivists who basically have a free-for-all approach. At its most extreme, descriptivism argues that most of these typos aren’t mistakes, it’s language change in motion. We tried to strike a middle ground and say, OK, we’re going to recognize that English is a constantly evolving organism and that the spellings of some things are going to change over time. I’m not going to go around to every instance of the word ‘donut’ and add in the ‘ugh.’

    On the other hand, if you look at certain errors on an individual level, where someone accidentally throws a ‘V’ into the word ‘entertainment,’ like we saw on one sign in Atlanta, or a sign we saw in Vegas that offered ‘horsebacking riding’ instead of ‘horseback riding,’ these are not pieces of evidence of some growing consensus; these are just individual errors. They’re something that I think you can in pretty good faith go after.”

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    One of Barbara Ehrenreich's books made the list. (Image by David Shankbone.)

    The faculty at NYU’s Arthur L. Carter Journalism Institute have published their list of the ten best pieces of journalism of the decade. Below is a bare-bones list; click here to find out more about each of them.

    • “A Nation Challenged” (The New York Times, 2001.)
    • Random Family: Love, Drugs, Trouble, and Coming of Age in the Bronx (Adrian Nicole LeBlanc, 2003.)
    • The Looming Tower: Al-Qaeda and the Road to 9/11 (Lawrence Wright, 2006.)
    • “The Giant Pool of Money” (This American Life & NPR, 2008.)
    • Ongoing reports from Iraq and Afghanistan (The New York Times, 2003-2009.)
    • The Dark Side: The Inside Story of How the War on Terror Turned into a War on American Ideals (Jane Mayer, 2008.)
    • Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America (Barbara Ehrenreich, 2001.)
    • Coverage of Hurricane Katrina (The Times-Picayune, 2005.)
    • “Soldiers Face Neglect, Frustration at Army’s Top Medical Facility” (The Washington Post, 2007.)
    • Abuse in the Catholic Church” (The Boston Globe, 2002.)

    Driving in Los Angeles is cruel and unusual punishment. (Image by Downtowngal.)

    The Associated Press has a story about Los Angeles trying to undo the traffic mess it created for itself when it long ago destroyed its beautiful streetcar system. L.A. has temporarily raised taxes and is appealing for a federal loan to reinvent its mass transit system. An excerpt from an article by Daisy Nguyen:

    “In the first half of the 20th century the Los Angeles region boasted an extensive system of streetcars and high-speed electric railways including the famed Red Cars. After World War II, Southern California began abandoning those systems in favor of personal automobiles and freeways, leaving mass transit to buses.

    Now, with gridlock commonplace, the focus is back on high-capacity transit systems–light rail, interurban heavy rail, dedicated busways–to catch up with the transportation demands of millions of people.

    But with federal and state transportation funds dwindling due to a reduction in gas tax revenue, experts say the time is right to test innovative ideas in transportation financing.

    ‘The national government should help cities that are helping themselves and take advantage of these bold plans to transform how these places operate and function,’ said Robert Puentes, a fellow at the Brookings Institution’s Metropolitan Policy Program.”



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    Gen. Petraeus: You sing like Cher after she's been to a Taliban dentist.

    The news is everywhere that a shakeup has gone down behind the scenes at American Idol. With ratings starting to decline and Simon leaving the program, producers knew that they had to take some drastic measures.

    So, judges Ellen and Kara are out and replacing them will be J-Lo and Steven Tyler. What hasn’t been reported is that General Petraeus will also be joining the show as a judge. Already assigned with the twin burdens of successfully completing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, Petraeus will be expected to rescue the disaster that Idol has become.

    Ali Saleh Kahlah al-Marri: Your pants are on the ground, infidel.

    Some people think Petraeus is too nice like Ellen, but this is a four-star general who is used to talking tough with some of the most evil terrorists in the world. If you sing a song and you sound like a bunch of cats murdering a bird, Petraeus isn’t going to lie to you.

    He’s also up for the ratings challenge. “We will pursue Dancing with the Stars relentlessly,” Petraeus said at a press conference. “We will target them and their leaders. We will fight hard and with discipline until we reach our achievable goals.”

    In order to further liven things up, Ryan Seacrest has been let go to make room for new host, Al-Qaeda member Ali Saleh Kahlah al-Marri. Unlike Ellen, this enemy combatant is definitely not too nice. In fact, he’s a terrorist hellbent on destroying Western culture. The banter between Al-Marri and Petraeus will no doubt be deliciously bitchy. Fox has its fingers crossed.

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    In this excerpt from a Paris Review interview, Ray Bradbury discusses being an autodidact and disses John Irving. An excerpt:

    Paris Review: You’re self-educated, aren’t you?

    Ray Bradbury: Yes, I am. I’m completely library educated. I’ve never been to college. I went down to the library when I was in grade school in Waukegan, and in high school in Los Angeles, and spent long days every summer in the library. I used to steal magazines from a store on Genesee Street, in Waukegan, and read them and then steal them back on the racks again. That way I took the print off with my eyeballs and stayed honest. I didn’t want to be a permanent thief, and I was very careful to wash my hands before I read them. But with the library, it’s like catnip, I suppose: you begin to run in circles because there’s so much to look at and read. And it’s far more fun than going to school, simply because you make up your own list and you don’t have to listen to anyone. When I would see some of the books my kids were forced to bring home and read by some of their teachers, and were graded on—well, what if you don’t like those books?

    I am a librarian. I discovered me in the library. I went to find me in the library. Before I fell in love with libraries, I was just a six-year-old boy. The library fueled all of my curiosities, from dinosaurs to ancient Egypt. When I graduated from high school in 1938, I began going to the library three nights a week. I did this every week for almost ten years and finally, in 1947, around the time I got married, I figured I was done. So I graduated from the library when I was twenty-seven. I discovered that the library is the real school.

    Paris Review: You have said that you don’t believe in going to college to learn to write. Why is that?

    Ray Bradbury: You can’t learn to write in college. It’s a very bad place for writers because the teachers always think they know more than you do—and they don’t. They have prejudices. They may like Henry James, but what if you don’t want to write like Henry James? They may like John Irving, for instance, who’s the bore of all time. A lot of the people whose work they’ve taught in the schools for the last thirty years, I can’t understand why people read them and why they are taught. The library, on the other hand, has no biases. The information is all there for you to interpret. You don’t have someone telling you what to think. You discover it for yourself.”

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    A nattily attired Bruce Lee does a screen test in 1964 for The Green Hornet. The physical part of the audition begins about three-and-a-half minutes into the footage. Thanks to Marginal Revolution for pointing me toward the video.

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    A little knowledge is a dangerous thing for Robert De Niro in Brian De Palma's "Hi, Mom!"

    Travis Bickle wasn’t the first volatile Vietnam veteran that Robert De Niro portrayed. Years before the blistering violence of Taxi Driver, the great actor twice played Jon Rubin, a Peeping Tom/former soldier trying to make his way in a New York City that had gone to seed. De Niro handled the role in a pair of dark comedies for Brian De Palma: 1968’s Greetings, which was largely forgettable, and 1970’s Hi, Mom!, a raucous if scattershot machine gun of a satire that fired at everything from urban decay to the sexual revolution to guerilla theater to Black Power to white liberals.

    Rubin, a demolitions expert in Vietnam, is discharged into a crappy, crime-ridden New York during the start of the city’s slide into economic malaise. After renting a rat trap for forty bucks a month from a disgusting landlord (Charles Durning), the peeper tries to parlay his voyeuristic tendencies into a career as an erotic filmmaker. Rubin talks a blowhard porn producer (Allen Garfield) into giving him two grand so that he can record the sexual exploits of his neighbors using a telescopic lens. When the residents across the way turn out to be bores, the auteur tries to spice things up by seducing his comely neighbor Judy Bishop (Jennifer Salt). But a camera malfunction messes up the big scene, and the veteran decides to turn his attention to an extreme guerrilla theater company that hopes to expose the Caucasian silent majority to Black Power. The film really takes off at this point, not only mocking the excesses of the theater troupe but sort of sympathizing with them.

    “You know, tragedy is a funny thing,” Rubin says at one point, and sometimes it is in this intentionally crude movie that matched the madness of its time and place with a craziness all its own.•

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    Marky Ramone: Looking more like Christiane Amanpour every day. (Image by David Shankbone.)

    Marky Ramone Autographed Pokemon Card – $50 (Bushwick)

    I met Marky Ramone in 2000 and had him autograph my Charmander Pokemon card. It’s in really good condition.

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    Canadian Prime Minister Wayne Gretzky. (Image by Kmf164.)

    Russia had dominated Afflictor Nation for seven months running, being the foreign country with the most traffic on our idiotic web site from December through June. But the former superpower took a nosedive this month, finishing tied for fourteenth in the heated competition. Although the unlikely trio of Singapore, Malaysia and Turkey made a surprisingly strong showing, it was our neighbor to the north, Canada, that ultimately supplanted Russia as Afflictor Nation champion. Best known for being cold as fuck and not harshing the vibe, Canada is like the neighbors down the hall that you seem to never run into, but at least they don’t play the music too loud. At any rate: Thank you to all the many nations that checked in with this site in July, and congratulations to you for your astounding victory, Canada!

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    "Grotesque appearance." (Image by Rinina25 & Twice25)

    John Foster was an elderly clown passing through Brooklyn in 1896 when he was profiled by the local papers. Born into poverty in Pennsylvania and orphaned at a very early age, he made a place for himself in the itinerant circus world. An excerpt from an article about him in the July 19, 1896 edition of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle:

    “A few weeks ago, in the outlying districts of Brooklyn, an old fashioned country circus was going about. Like all other small circus companies, they had an original tattooed lady, the wild men of Borneo, etc., but in their troupe was one man who is known from one end of the country to the other, that is, by theatrical or circus men. That man is John Foster, clown, Shakespearean jester and the last of the old school, i.e., those who depend on talking and singing rather than gesture and pantomime as the clowns of to-day do.

    Mr. Foster is probably to-day the eldest clown in the business, over fifty-two years having passed since he first stepped into a circus ring.

    Modern clown: I salute you, John Foster. (Image by Robert Lawton.)

    He was born of poor parents, both of whom died in his infancy, in the little town of Chamberburg, Pennsylvania. Brought up in hardship and having had little opportunity for schooling, he early made up his mind to do something worth while in the world.

    So one spring day in the year 1845, clad only in a large straw hat, check shirt and pantaloons, and with no shoes on, he applied for a job with the Robertson & Eldridge circus, which was then playing in Chambersburg.

    His grotesque appearance, combined with his determination to carry his point, made a favorable impression on the managers, who hired him and put him to work washing the clothes and doing odd jobs about. His natural abilities showed itself, however, and before he had been six months with the company he had begun his professional career as a clown and ring performer.

    In his time Mr. Foster has played with and known to every performer and circus man of note during the last half century, and has been with shows in every civilized country.

    Mr. Foster is a short, thick set man, quite gray and wears a small mustache and goatee. He loves children, and when at home always has a lot of them about.”

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    Afflictor: Boring juggalos silly since 2009. (Image by Mruntouchable.)

    Via kottke.org comes this video of a Korean instructor teaching students how to curse in English. Remember: It’s “bitch,” not “beach.” What a potty mouth.

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    No visible stains. (Image by Tony Barton.)

    LIPS couch. That’s a couch shaped like a huge pair of lips – $300 (Midtown)

    Yes, it’s a couch shaped like lips. We’re selling it because we’ve downsized and we don’t really have room for it anymore. It looks cool and funky but the covering is showing it’s age a little bit – there’s a few holes in the fabric but nothing too noticeable.

    Apparently this was first made for a Madonna video. We’ve examined it closely and can’t detect any traces of Madonna odors, stains or other ikky stuff, so I imagine it was thoroughly cleaned after she rubbed her girl bits on it. We’ve had it for years and had numerous clients sit on it over that time. Nobody has reported contracting anything gross or disgusting from it, so I think you’re pretty safe.

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