“I smell terrible all the time.”

Great barter

Have someone staying in your home and you want out? Well today’s the day. See I smell terrible all the time. Have me around for a bit and they are sure to want to leave. Really this will work. I want in return iPads, laptops, cash, gold, cash. Email for more info.

“I’m fine with broken legs, smashed skull.”

Animals, wild game (Carroll Gardens)

I am interested in any and all dead wild animals in decent condition.

If you hunt, or live in a place where you often see roadkill, it’s easy to throw it in a freezer and later bring it to the city. I would like whole animals, but also have interest in unwanted parts- heads, organs, pelts, trimmed fat, scrap meat, carcasses, etc…

In exchange I can provide you with money or some kind of service or trade. I can also butcher/process animals and give you the parts you want and keep whatever is left.

Animals I want: Deer, rabbit, squirrel, mouse, muskrat, chipmunk, turtle, raccoon, beaver, hare, bear, coyote, fox, fish, grouse, wild turkey, other birds, turtle, frog… probably any animal. As long as it came from the wilderness. No subway rats, apartment mice, house cats, etc.

What I consider decent condition:

Relatively fresh-some smell or a small rotting area is okay, my standards are lower than many.

Relatively in-tact–I’m fine with broken legs, smashed skull… anything really as long as the animal is not completely exploded.

Additionally, I am interested in any surplus food or plant like edible weeds, wild/sour apples, and black walnuts.

If you are able to do this, or know someone who might be up for it, please contact me. Thanks.

Kidney and I.D. for sale – $2500

Im in need of money and willing to sell my kidney-$6500 (non smoker and non drinker) or i.d.-$2500 (social security card and birth certificate).

“And before you ask – NO!! – you can’t sleep with her.”

Need A Room – What Can You Offer? (Nassau County)

Hello, I need a room to use. About once/twice a week max. Weekdays from 9am-2pm. About 2-3 hours each time. My GF doesn’t like motels/hotels and are own places are out of the question. House or apartment is fine. Can you help us out??

And before you ask – NO!! – you can’t sleep with her.

Let me know what you can offer and what you need from us to use it.

Cash needed to fill a dream – $20

I have a multi-billion dollar idea that will not wait for anybody.

If you want to help with this, it will cost money – preferably $ 5,000.00, but $20,000.00 will be searched for. The idea is to take cars off the roads, and replace them with a flying car, already thought up by me, and will begin construction of them when the money is set.

This idea will not leave me, as long as I have breath in my body.

If interested, please get back to me, and you will get paid back. $20,000 will be paid back $38,000.00.

I want to be adopted by a wealthy colombian family (anywhere)

I am a nice guy in my 20s that has fell on some hard times and some criminal problems. i need some help out and i need a new godfamily. please help. i would be a great son or brother or grandson. i love cars, cash and sex.

“It’s kind of embarrassing to me.”

Husband Wants Me to do it….

We have not explained the “facts of life” to our young teenage son yet, and my husband says he can’t get involved in doing this. Says I must do it alone. How do I, a middle-aged mother talk to my 13 year old son about sex, masturbation, std’s, pregnancy, birth control, etc? It’s kind of embarrassing to me.

Serena.

“Now, at 19, I have a huge data set.”

I’m selling my sex data (Upper West Side)

Ever since 15 years old, when I lost my virginity, I kept track of every time I’ve had sex (reasons why are another story). I mark down: The date itself including day of the week, the person’s first name, age at the time, my age at the time, the number of times (or days) this is for me, the number of times I’ve done it with this person, whether we used protection/not, and what state it took place in. Obviously, I wouldn’t disclose to you the names but if you wanted a certain characteristic, like their race/where I met them/where THEY’RE from, we could work something out, and I’d replace their name with a letter of the alphabet and corresponding characteristics.

Now, at 19, I have a huge data set, and an interesting one at that. I was thinking someone somewhere could use this in one way or another, and I need some extra cash anyway. I’ll answer any questions you have about the set (after seeing it) as long as I don’t feel they’re too personal. I won’t reveal to you my name either, but I’ll tell you the crucial facts (especially if you’re using it for a personal study of some sort).

We can talk more, if you have any questions. For the record (no pun intended) I don’t include oral sex, anal sex, and any type of sex with females.

“How is your stress affecting your pet?”

Pets psychic & Spiritual advisor

Do you need help understanding your pet’s behavior? Does your pet have phobias or fears? How is your stress affecting your pet? How is your pet feeling? For the answers to these and any other questions, call me. I connect with the energy of your pet, even when your pet has passed over, and it’s very much the same technique as when I do readings for humans. I have over 30 years experience as a professional psychic, I am clairvoyant, and as I do a reading it’s as if I’m watching a slide slow in my mind. I’ve helped thousands, and I’m here to help you & your pet.

“How is your pet feeling?”

“Yes, you know what I’m talking about.”

I Need to make Holiday cash and then Some – $25000 (bklyn, manhatten)

If you have a way for me to either earn cash or make cash weather it be something you can not do your self and need help with or need a stranger to do, or any other way for there are tons of people out there with good tips who know where the golden goose hides their eggs weather it be in cash or product.

if your in need of cash for the holidays as i am email me back and lets talk. if it’s doable your cut in as full partner.

yes, you know what i’m talking about.

Get back to me. i’m discreet, a man of my word, and please no james bond type shit. lets be realisitic. the right info can be a nice pay day for you and me alike.

christmas will be here in 2 weeks. please get back to me if you have a way for me to make cash–the more the better.

happy holidays.

“Happy holidays.”

I’m going to be doing the “Great 2013 Nonfiction Pieces Online For Free” list either late tonight or more likely tomorrow. Here are the year-end lists from the last two years.

___________________

Great 2012 Nonfiction Pieces Online For Free

I AM SELLING MY 2 KIDNEY STONES I PASSED LAST YEAR – $500 (NEW YORK)

I HAD 2 KIDNEY STONES THAT I PASSED LAST YEAR.

THIS IS FOR PEOPLE WHO COLLECT STRANGE THINGS.

I HAVE HOSPITAL PAPER WORK ON THEM, THEY ARE AUTHENTIC WITH PAPER WORK.