Happy New Year, Afflictor Readers!

A special thanks to all the Midwesterners who came to our city and urinated on the buildings in Manhattan last night. Now we don’t have to clean them for another year.

According to the Chinese calendar, 2013 was the Year of the Derp. Fuck 2013! And now a touching tribute to some of the people most responsible for killing brain cells last year. Thanks, you dipshits.