"Chana." (Image by Geoffrey Gallaway.)
I NEED 50 CARTON NEW PORTS MADE IN CHANA (FLUSHING -)
I NEED 20 OF CARTON NEW PORTS MADE IN CHANA ASAP CALL ME JAY I GOT CASH ON HAND ……NO BULL SHIT QUEENS
You are currently browsing the archive for the Misc. category.
"Let's be honest - I am 30, and it needs to go."
Mr. T and A-Team memorabilia (West Village)
Ok, so my parents are moving out of their house and with that goes my 15 year collection of all things A-Team and Mr. T — this includes board games, figurines, cards, toys, collectibles and a variety of other Mr. T and A-Team stuff. All of it collected from flea markets, eBay and random stores. Strange, yes. However, lets be honest – I am 30, and it needs to go. Let me know if you are interested and I can give you more details through email on what is for sale and we can figure out a fair price.
Tags: Mr. T
"A favorite of psychotic serial killers like Jeffrey Dahmer."
Immense Chest Freezer – $150 (Stamford CT)
I am selling a Kenmore chest freezer because the wife and kids are out of the house (finally!). Though I eat mostly TV dinners, I don’t go through enough to need this puppy any longer.
This is an immense unit, 71″ wide, 36″ high and 27 1/2″ deep, which means about 28.5 cubic feet of usable interior space by my estimate. It’s about 20 years old and works great. This is exactly the sort of freezer that my grandma loved for storing all her groceries over the course of the winter, and it’s also a favorite of psychotic serial killers like Jeffrey Dahmer, who needed all that room to store multiple “experiments.”
Tags: Jeffrey Dahmer
"It’d be nice to help." (Image by Mavarin.)
my deepest secrets.
i’m 18, m. saving for a new car. i don’t hold much in, so i’m offering my deepest darkest confessions for donation(s) of any amount. it’d be nice to help. i think i have some pretty interesting things to share.
"It's about the Internet when it was a more tactile experience."
The Slow Internet movement has been around for awhile, but it seems to be gaining traction. Or perhaps it just hired a better publicist. NPR presents a story about people who seek out dial-up connections, yearning for a slower user experience, a doomed but interesting experiment in ’90s nostalgia. It’s an offshoot of sorts of the Slow Food movement. Listen to the report here. An excerpt:
“Dial-up Internet is enjoying a huge comeback as the slow-net wave (partly inspired by the slow food movement) crashes onto hipster shores nationwide.
OK Go frontman Damian Kulash has written the trend’s anthem. The song is called ‘Love Me Longtime.’
‘It’s about the Internet when it was a more tactile experience — when it took something to be on the Internet,’ Kulash says.” (Thanks Klaw.)
Tags: Damian Kulash
Spittoon under bench, because ladies also enjoy spitting.
“New Pattern Britannia Parlor Spittoons–More the pity that such articles should be needed, but while some persons who expect to rate as gentlemen frequently expectorate on the carpets, there’s a necessity for parlor spittoons. A new and beautiful pattern just received at the Brittannia hardware store of Lucius Hart, 4 and 6 Burling Slip.”
Tags: Lucius Hart
"Will gladly travel." (Image by Downtowngal.)
i will come get your broken shit (staten island)
I will come haul away all your broken shit, lawnmowers, weed eaters, leaf blowers, mini bikes, snowmobiles, jet skis, whatever, I will get it out of your back yard. Let me know, i live on staten island, but will gladly travel.
"From 1987."
VAN JOHNSON’S HAIR FROM 1987 (Chelsea)
A summer day in 1987, Van Johnson arrived at my hair cutting shop for a trim – he was performing in La Cage aux Folles at the time… I recognized him, got his autograph and kept the hair that was cut. These items are now being sold to all interested parties as collectable memorabilia. These are completely authentic and a must have for any fan of Van Johnson.
Tags: Van Johnson
Some search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:
••••••••••
March Traffic Report (the most popular searches on Afflictor according to category):
Top 5 Famous People Searches:
- Muhammad Ali
- Serge Gainsbourg
- David Soul
- Groucho Marx
- Sitting Bull
Top 5 Most Unimaginative Searches:
- pictures of a toothpick
- woman
- doorknob
- stuff
- whatever
Top 5 Obscene Searches:
- kingkongdongs
- boobs pointing in different direction
- groping
- snooki – leather
- japanese panties
Afflictor: Trying to convince the Great Omi that his tramp stamp hasn’t gotten out of hand, since 2009.
- Classic DVD: Zelig (1984)
- Old Print Articles: Boxing matches break out at a birthday party (1886) + Mix-up at a Brooklyn baby farm (1891) + Mysterious woman loses ability to communicate (1902).
- Classic Photographs: Portrait of an Akeut woman (1915) + Street life in the Bowery (1896).
- Featured Videos: John Denver interviews Werner Erhard (1970s) + Internet safety video found at a Goodwill (1996) + Guy with rollerblade suit doesn’t kill himself this time + People who are drunker than you + Solar-charging your cell phone + Bikini chick teaches Windows 95 + Tree that grows spaghetti + Fastest piano juggler in the world + Skateboard that automatically balances itself + Amazing bot bird soars through the sky + Robots playing tennis + Flying robot iPhone app tours NYC + Home movies of the late-life Sigmund Freud + Stop-motion rap video about alternative proposal for Detroit Light Rail.
- Recently Posted on NYC’s Craigslist: I will help you change your identity and start over + Please give me your wisdom for the sake of the children + Let’s create a ridiculous stunt that helps me quit smoking + Help me humiliate a Red Sox fan + My grandmother is being forced to live with my Aunt Marie + I’ll post your ads on my house as long as they aren’t sexy + I need a death certificate.
- David Grann reports about a mysterious Guatemalan murder.
- D.A. Pennebaker looks back at Don’t Look Back.
- Sidd Finch: When April Fools’ Day was still possible.
- Journalist Tom Bissell doesn’t regret wasting three years on Grand Theft Auto IV and cocaine.
- Oenophile Robert Parker is bitten by a Schnauzer.
- Stanley Kubrick photographs Chicago in 1949.
- Bell Labs launches first communications satellite in 1960.
- John Lardner’s greatest sentence ever.
- Paul Allen pinpoints 1968 as the year digital technology changed forever.
- Allen Ginsberg argues against marijuana paranoia in 1966.
- Why child psychology shifted during the 1950s.
- Supercomputer pioneer Seymour Cray considers the scary future of biotech.
- Mark Slouka on the benefits of idleness.
- How the iPad is like a microwave.
- Wallace Stevens on ice cream and life and death.
- Afflictor Nation: England still reigns supreme.
- This week’s Afflictor keyphrase searches.
"I will listen and help if I can."
Are you looking to start over? (everywhere)
Is your life not going in the direction you wish, to the point that at times you just wish you were someone else and elsewhere? We’ve all been there, so just drop a line and I will listen and help if I can. Talk to you soon!
English comic Russell Brand: Planning to live into his 40s. (Image by Brian Solis.)
England, once an empire, has gone downhill in many ways, but that country is still very good at wasting its time on Afflictor. In March, England once again delivered more unique visitors to this site than any other foreign country. Here are the Top 5 nations:
- Great Britain
- Canada
- Netherlands
- Australia
- Germany
Tags: Russell Brand
"They need you and your wisdom desperately."
Wanted: Your wisdom..
Hi, I am doing a study on wisdom and I would love to hear what you think are the most important lessons in life you have learned. Won’t you take the time to share your advice with our younger generation? I would greatly appreciate anyone willing to take the time to help our young people, some of which have no adult role models to look up to. They need you and your wisdom desperately.
"You will receive any local or national media exposure gained from this unique story."
PLEASE HELP SAVE MY LIFE!! (Green Bay, WI)
I’m offering a chance for you to help save my life…
I can’t quit smoking. I’m looking for any new idea, incentive, service or gift that will motivate me to never smoke again. I will agree to quit smoking for one calendar year and you will receive any local or national media exposure gained from this unique story and you will also be credited for saving my life. If I do not quit smoking all offers will be VOID. At the end of one year of being smoke free I will collect on any of the incentives that were offered. I’m not looking for tons of offers, rather just one that motivates me the best. That will also ensure you or your company will receive the media advertising gained by this. If you want to offer something just to help someone, I will accept that as well.
I’m taking a risk by putting my number out there but I want to show that I’m a very serious and motivated about this. Thank you, Benjamin
Tags: Benjamin
"Help a Red Sox fan make good on a humiliating bet."
yanks fan wtd
hey…. i’m looking for a die-hard yanks fan to help a red sox fan make good on a humiliating bet. shoot me an email if you might be interested…
"My grandmother is 91 yrs old. She is currently staying with my Aunt Marie."
need help 4 a good life (Upper East Side)
living in the same apt for the last 36 years,with my grand mother, the owners sold the building. now we are being force to vacate the apt.by april 30 2011.my grandmother is 91 yrs old. she is currently staying with my aunt marie. as for me, i work as a maintenance superviser in a 52 unit building,making it just above my nose. the rent here takes 60% of my monthly income. 25% goes to my 3 kids the other 40% goes to light and gas. the food was supplied by my grandmother from her ssi check. we have a 2bedroom apt and pay 800 a month, and i now the new owners wants us out because he wants market value,(im not mad at him). its his house. for 36 yrs my grandmother has the same tel#. my grandmother is the foundation of my life, i love her so much. i so wish that i could get her a beautiful house so we could stay together. im not begging im asking anyone who can just send me what ever they can just because you can. thank you so much in advance
good life
Tags: Aunt Marie
"Looking to bring in extra income."
Advertising Space on my home (New Jersey)
Looking to bring in extra income will rent out, the outside space of my home for Advertisement on the house, (roof) lawn. This could be from 6 months to 1 year, local, state or national business. The fee is something we can talk about. My area gets good foot traffic and other public (car & truck) traffic. Please note, your business must be legal and nothing dealing with sex in any way.
"All I have is the man's name and last address he was at when he died."
I need help getting a death certificate – $100 (NYC)
I am a private investigator in N.C……Im trying to get a death certificate for a client. All I have is the mans name and last address he was at when he died. Its so much crap to go through to get it its crazy. If someone can help and get me the certificate I will send you 100.00 bucks after I get it. This is legit.
Some search engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:
Afflictor: Trying to stress the positive–Hey, great dress!–since 2009.
- Classic DVD: Fahrenheit 451 (1966).
- Old Print Articles: Tales from the Flatbush Insane Asylum (1888-96) + Innocent man refuses to leave prison (1896) + Lone lady letter carrier in the Old West (1900).
- Classic Photographs: Fun in the sun at Midland Beach (1890s) + Harry Houdini was the son of a rabbi (1899).
- Featured Videos: Henrietta sings, as does Merna + Leonard Cohen predicts the future will be murder (1993) + Record producer Joe Meek was nuttier than Phil Spector + Effed up Orson Welles selling liquor + Larry King interviews futurist Jacque Fresco (1974) + Ronald McDonald’s daughter in Japan + Great wire walker in NYC (1904) + Perhaps the fakest Bigfoot ever + Cosmonaut dies; it makes for a great song + Opossum pedicure tips + Melancholy instructional video about cleaning bathrooms (1966) + Elizabeth Taylor on What’s My Line? (1954) + Great acrobats from Japan (1904) + Antique footage of Calcutta (1899) + London street life (1930s) + Star Trek theme played on a saw + In praise of the washing machine + The history of communications from the 1800s to 1976 + Exoskeleton suit for senior citizens.
- Recently Posted on NYC’s Craigslist: I’m convinced I’m an artist, so send me a tape of you having sex + Some jerk stole Fletch’s bike + Small guy needs ‘roids + Mom threw out my newspapers + Offering occult store memorabilia + Yu-Gi-Oh! cards are apparently too expensive to purchase + That Spice Girls yo-yo that you’ve been looking for.
- Frank Sinatra had a cold–and a hot temper–in 1965.
- Paul La Farge meditates on the dark side of Utopia.
- That scissors grinder with the trumpet is no joy (1898).
- Gerald Daniel Blanchard is really, really good at stealing stuff.
- Design guru Jonathan Ive conducts unusual research for Apple.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein thought the technological age was the end of humanity.
- Economist Tyler Cowen praises amateurism.
- Puzzle master Henry Hook is an enigma.
- Susan Orlean’s profile of Maui surfer girls from 1998.
- Hollywood children train to be entertainers.
- A look at Larry Page as he assumes leadership of Google.
- Baby food for adults didn’t really catch on.
- This week’s Afflictor keyphrase searches.
"Please any help will appreciate."
I NEED SOME OLD NEWSPAPER (BAYSIDE)
Does anybody have some New York Times, Newsday news paper from the month of January, February that don’t need it.
Please I do need it for a project for school. I had them but my mother trought it away by accident. Now I need it .
Please any help will appreciate. I prefer in the are of Queens but I go anywhere. Or if some people know how can I get this.
Thanks.
…for the second time this week. Sorry for slow posting. Damn, I say.
Colorful wires on crappy server. (Image by Thesydneyknowitall.)
"Can someone help me win."
who can donate some yugioh cards (Chinatown / Lit Italy)
i need some yugioh cards to beat my cosin at his own game only thing is i dont have any cards can someone help me win
"Here's to hoping you get sideswiped by a cabbie." (image by Omnibus, Uris.)
Thief – thanks for stealing my bike, jerk (Midtown)
Hey, thief who stole my nice Bianchi from 55th between 7th and 8th, thanks so much for making my life miserable. I know you stole many bikes from that rack, but that was my main mode of transportation. Now I’m screwed because I can’t afford a new one.
Here’s to hoping you get sideswiped by a cabbie. Or, that someone sees you riding my Blue Bianchi with blue wheels around town and takes it back. I’d offer a reward, but I’m broke.
Jerk.
Very sincerely your enemy now,
Fletch
"Can pay cash." (Image by Keith Allison.)
Muscle enhancements needed (Chelsea)
Looking for steroids/HGH. Small guy here looking to build muscle fast. any help would be great. can pay cash. quickly in the city.