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It’s been great going nude these past few days with the hot weather. I even went downstairs in my Apt building to the laundry room completely nude and didn’t get caught! Last night on a dare I walked up and down my street! Fun! Any other nudists out there in Manhattan?
The Tea Party being probed by the IRS, anally.
Our Forefathers will protect us.
No, we don’t give a shit.
I’m going to put this test tube up your asses.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame, getting his balls waxed.
I need my sack to be smooth for the porno I’ve been asked to make.
Who asked you to make a porno? What were their names?
I lied, Helen Thomas’ Ghost. Nobody asked me to make a porno. Nobody ever asks me to make a porno.
Is the wax no longer happening?
He’s out, but I’ll take a Brazilian.
“I’ve been ripping shit up lately.”
I’ve been ripping shit up lately. Four or five hookers a week, $700 – $1200 per week on party favors, at least one swinger party a week, not taking my work seriously and now I’m left feeling spent. I’m about to do a complete turn around. No one event made me sit down and say, “That’s enough! Time to act like an adult, find a girlfriend and follow the well traveled path,” but that’s kinda where I’m heading.
I’d like to hear from people who have made the transition. Was it tough? How did you deal with the routine of a less exciting existence? How did you deal with the actual intimacy? I’ve been functioning at a pretty high level (no pun intended) for a while. Maybe it’s tolerance or maybe somewhere deep inside, I knew that I was going to end this behavior. Being single with no children and making six figures is a trap sometimes.
Dick Cheney shooting a box of kittens.
I will win their hearts and minds.
We can haz Doctorz Without Borderz?
My daughter Liz is running for the Senate in Wyoming. She’s the daughter who likes cock.
I’m Liz Cheney and I approved this message.
Idi Amin, after eating a Wendy’s Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburger.
You normally eat frozen heads.
But at Wendy’s, we never freeze our meat.
Give it a try, big fellow.
What do you think? Is it better than human flesh?
With Wendy’s, my ass is definitely less on fire.
Hello, we are a well known paranormal team looking for a psychiatrist or psychologist needed to help us with questions and possibly join us if you would like on certain investigations. Please email us for more details. If you would like you could also get a lot of exposure on radio shows and possibly tv shows in the future or kept confidential. Thank you!
10 search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:
Afflictor: Thinking Prince William pleased the Queen this week by sending her a picture of his little guy.
I also sent her a picture of my little guy.
“For cooking.”
anyone know of a place where i could purchase insects for cooking? pet shops and graveyards are excluded.
Anthony Weiner sending dick pics to roadkill.
Oh, no…TRUCK!
Look at my cock, dead squirrel.
A second circumcision.
But I already had it done.
I’ve come for the rest of it.
ladies…get some extra cash in your hands for what YOU WANT..not him
sell me your man’s “secret” porn collection….it will piss him off and make you happy
do it TODAY
An unairconditioned subway car, in which Dracula just defecated.
Why did you do such an awful thing?
Because in addition to being a vampire, I’m also sort of a jerk.
“Steve.”
Seeing if there is an audience of unattached quality ladies interested in winning the largest bra size in Brooklyn.
Will advise by email details and if responce is viable. No kooks please (I have to say that ladies.) Kindly indicate your size.
Thanks, Steve.
A pen of swine, bearing witness to a naked Geraldo selfie.
The towel drops on three, guys.
Please take our eyes.
A gang of armed nuns, assassinating President McKinley 2.0.
We believe in a vengeful God.
No, not again!
“Parents can put it to good use while traveling in a car with their little ones.”
I’m a writer, that need a agent that can sell my story
I have now three books.
One is a child book and the other adventure books.
Her is a sample of my first book.
FELECIA, THE CAT WHO WENT TO SEA
Is a wonderful children’s book, about a cat that gets separated and lost from her old-maid mistress on an ocean voyage.
It takes you on an exciting adventure with all her cartoon friends she meets along the way, and they help her find her way back to her owner.
The 88-page book has 44 large color pictures to keep the children interested while you read the story to them.
It has great potential.
It’s a great story for a cartoon movie – also a CD, that parents can put it to good use while traveling in a car with their little ones.
However – I need someone to make it happen, as I haven’t the money or the experience to pull it off. Would you like to sell my book?
Piers Morgan, interviewing Nicolae Ceausescu’s exhumed corpse.
How many times have you been properly in love?
10 search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor:
Afflictor: Feeling angry at Jann Wenner for putting that awful monster on the cover of Rolling Stone.
A coven of witches, at a Steven Seagal film festival.
Let’s watch Half Past Dead first. That one has Ja Rule and Nia Peeples.
My acting causes ball cancer.
A garbage strike, in Mussolini’s ass.
Hurry, boys. It’s getting bad down there.
Not even for time-and-a-half and a matching 401k.
some asshole stole my iphone and I’m selling my appendix, i figured i have no use for it so might as well sell it. im 21 young and beautiful, so my appendix is healthy and in great condition. we can also do a trade off, my appendix for your iphone 4s…the phone has to be in a good condition, im not taking a crappy phone for my beautiful and healthy appendix.
Babe Ruth’s jockstrap, that season he contracted syphilis.
The chorus girls in Cleveland are particularly ridden with disease.