Decoder: Comments By Nevada GOP Senatorial Candidate Sharron Angle

July 2, 2010 in Humor, Politics | Permalink

Harry Reid: Nevadans were desperate to vote me out of office. Thanks for saving my ass, GOP.

Sharron Angle: People are really looking toward those Second Amendment remedies and saying, “My goodness what can we do to turn this country around?” And I’ll tell you the first thing we need to do is take Harry Reid out.

Decoder: Since the Second Amendment allows for the right to bear arms, it appears that I’ve just suggested that someone should murder Harry Reid.

Sharron Angle: We have 14% unemployment in the state of Nevada, the highest foreclosure rate in the nation, and the highest rate of bankruptcy in Nevada. That is where people must hold Harry Reid accountable, because Harry Reid doesn’t care about their jobs. He doesn’t care that they are having trouble staying in their homes and that’s why Harry Reid needs to be fired.

Decoder: This might have been the average campaign rhetoric if I hadn’t also said this: “As your U.S. Senator, I [won’t be] in the business of creating jobs. People ask me what I’m going to do to develop jobs in my state. Well that’s not my job as U.S. Senator.”

Sharron Angle: [I oppose abortion for victims of rape and incest] because I’m a Christian, and I believe that God has a plan and purpose for each one of our lives and that he can intercede in all kinds of situations and we need to have a little faith in many things.

Decoder: Treating victims of horrific sex crimes to moronic platitudes is my idea of Christianity.

Sharron Angle: The separation of church and state is a doctrine meant to protect the church.

Decoder: It’s actually meant to protect that state from religious nuts like me who want to force my idiotic beliefs on others.

Sharron Angle's lemonade stand.

Sharron Angle: [We should bury the nation’s most radioactive waste 90 miles outside of Las Vegas to create jobs] because we need to make lemonade out of lemons.

Decoder: Why won’t anyone ever drink the lemonade I make? It’s so tangy and refreshing. They think it’s radioactive, don’t they?

Sharron Angle: They keep extending unemployment benefits to the point where people are afraid to go out and get a job because the job doesn’t pay as much as the benefit. There are jobs that do exist. We have [created] so much entitlement that we have spoiled our citizenry that they don’t want the jobs that are available. You can make more money on unemployment than you can make by going down and getting one of those jobs that are honest jobs. What we really need to have them do is take those jobs that are entry-level jobs, build up their seniority.

Decoder: When I lose the race for Senator, I am going to go get a minimum-wage job in the fast-food industry. I will gradually work my way up to running the french-fry machine by myself. Even for this, I will be underqualified.

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