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Old Print Ad: Rubber Party Masks (1949)

February 6, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

That Halfwit is going to get lung cancer from his chain-smoking.

Imagine the delight on your friends’ faces when you travel back to 1949 in your time machine and don one of these fun rubber masks. There are many interesting options to choose from, including “The Monster,” “Satan,” “The Monkey,” “Old Man,” “Old Lady,” “Clown,” and our personal favorite, “Idiot.” (“Yes, here is Halfwit in all his goofiness. People howl with laughter when you put on this life-like mask.”)  It’ll cost you $2.95 per mask or $4.95 if you want to purchase the “Santa Claus.” (It probably took a lot of extra rubber to properly approximate the jowly obesity of St. Nick.) An excerpt from the ad copy:

“Enjoy hilarious ‘monkey-shines’ at your next masquerade party with these amazing life-like rubber masks. Cover entire head…last for years…so lifelike people gasp with amazement and delight. Mold-Art Rubber Masks are made from best-grade natural flexible rubber. They cover the entire head. Yet you see through the ‘eyes.’ The mouth moves with your lips…you breathe…smoke…talk…even eat thru it.”

See other Old Print Ads.

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Wanted Poster: The Assassination Of Thomas D’Arcy McGee

February 5, 2010 in Misc., Politics, Urban Studies | Permalink

McGee, one month before his assassination: "There is no danger of my being converted into a political martyr. If I were ever murdered, it would be by some wretch who would shoot me from behind."

United States history is sadly awash in the blood of political assassination, but only one Canadian elected official at the federal level has ever been murdered. That unlucky soul would be Thomas D’Arcy McGee, an Irish-Canadian member of the House of Commons who was gunned down on April 7, 1868.

McGee, a radical activist who campaigned for the separation by any means necessary of Ireland and England, took refuge from arrest warrants by emigrating first to the United States and then Canada. McGee renounced his violent nationalist views by the time he called Montreal home and was allegedly gunned down for being a traitor to the cause by a radical nationalist named Patrick J. Whelan. Whelan was tried, convicted and hanged, but his guilt has been disputed ever since. An excerpt from the poster’s plea:

“A member of the House of Commons of the Dominion of Canada was FOULLY ASSASSINATED in this city on the MORNING of the SEVENTH DAY of April, 1868, in accordance with a Resolution of the CORPORATION, I, Henry James Friel, Mayor of the City of Ottawa, do hereby offer a REWARD OF $2000, For the Apprehension and Prosecution to Conviction of the Assassin.”

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Old Print Ad “Ghastly Murder in The East-End” (1888)

February 3, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

The alleged letter from the killer identifying himself as "Jack the Ripper" was likely a hoax.

The infamous murderer of prostitutes in the Whitechapel district of London eventually came to be known as “Jack the Ripper,” but in this sensational 1888 tabloid piece the killer is called “Leather Apron.” It’s a lot subtler name but just as chilling, I think. Whenever I hear about a violent crime–past or present–my first thought is always that all of the people involved, perpetrator and victims, were once sitting at desks in a second-grade classroom learning basic math and reading. I guess it’s just a way to suppress the horror.

The newspaper article is visually plain but makes up for its lack of eye-grabbing graphics with prose dripping with tawdry detail (some of which exaggerated the facts). An excerpt:

“Another murder of a character even more diabolical than that perpetrated Back’s Row, on Friday week, was discovered in the same neighborhood, on Saturday morning. At around six o’clock a woman was lying in a back yard at the foot of a passage leading to a lodging house in Old Brown’s Lane, Spitalfields. The house is occupied by a Mrs. Richardson, who lets it out to lodgers, and the door which admits to this passage, at the foot of which lies the yard where the body was found, is always open for the convenience of lodgers. A lodger named Davis was going down to work at the time mentioned and found the woman lying on her back close to the flight of steps leading into the yard. Her throat was cut in a fearful manner. The woman’s body had been completely ripped open and the heart and the other organs laying about the place, and portions of the entrails around the victim’s neck.”

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Panama Takes Time From Expanding Canal To Join Afflictor Nation!

January 31, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

Panama: Doubling the size of a canal is so easy that we have time to waste on Afflictor.com.

I have a question for you, Panama, with you tropical climate and your historical reliance on commerce: Which one of your approximately 3,360,474 citizens visited Afflictor.com yesterday? It was on Saturday–a Saturday we’ll never forget at the Afflictor.com offices in Brooklyn–that the data revealed to us that you took precious time from your busy schedule of expanding the Panama Canal to waste valuable moments on our idiotic website. The Canal expansion is scheduled to be completed some time in 2014 or 2015, so you best not tarry. Welcome to Afflictor Nation, Panama! You may have broken with Spain in 1821 and Colombia in 1903, but let us never part.

Meet other Afflictor Nations.

“But Don’t You Find, Dr. Kissinger, That It’s Been A Useless War?”

January 28, 2010 in Books, Excerpts, Misc., Politics | Permalink

The late journalist Oriana Fallaci had a dubious final chapter to her life when in the wake of 9/11, she lived in fear a Muslim planet. But in her younger days, she was one of the greatest interrogators in all of journalism. It’s not likely in this self-conscious age that many of today’s bigwigs would suffer her substance and style, but it’s not like too many interviewers are even trying.

In 1972, as the war in Vietnam raged, Secretary of State Henry Kissinger sat down for an interview with Fallaci and regretted it almost immediately, ultimately dubbing it “the single most disastrous conversation I have ever had with any member of the press.” The piece was published in the New Republic and anthologized in Interview with History. Here’s an excerpt:

Oriana Fallaci:

And what do you have to say about the war in Vietnam, Dr. Kissinger? You’ve never been against the war in Vietnam, it seems to me.

Henry Kissinger:

How could I have been? Not even before holding the position I have today…No, I’ve never been against the war in Vietnam.

Oriana Fallaci:

But don’t you find that [Arthur] Schlesinger is right when he says that the war in Vietnam has succeeded only in proving that a million Americans with all their technology have been incapable of defeating poorly armed men dressed in black pajamas?

Henry Kissinger:

That’s another question. If it is a question about whether the war in Vietnam was necessary, a just war, rather than…Judgments of that kind depend on the position that one takes when the country is already involved in the war and the only thing left is to conceive a way to get out of it. After all, my role, our role, has been to reduce more and more the degree to which America is involved in the war, so as then to end the war. In the final analysis, history will say who did more: those who operated by criticizing and nothing else, or we who tried to reduce the war and then ended it. Yes, the verdict is up to history. When a country is involved in a war, it’s not enough to say it most be ended. It must be ended in accordance with some principle. And this is quite different from saying that it was right to enter the war.

Oriana Fallaci: 

But don’t you find, Dr. Kissinger, that it’s been a useless war?

Henry Kissinger:

On this I can agree.•

Fallaci was among Dick Cavett’s guests on January 22, 1973 when news broke that former President Lyndon Johnson had died.

 

 

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The Russian Federation Joins Afflictor Nation!

January 28, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

Russia: We killed all our writers and now we have no choice but to read Afflictor.com.

Wednesday was a pretty exciting time in the Afflictor.com offices in Brooklyn. It was on that fateful day that the Russian Federation joined Afflictor Nation, as our site had its first visitor from one of that country’s citizens. Maybe Mother Russia was whiling away the time during a bitterly cold winter by reading our nonsense. But wait a minute. Isn’t Russia the birthplace of many great writers? Why would any of its people need to read Afflictor.com at all? Is something causing a shortage of free-thinking scribes there? Truly puzzling. Well, welcome to Afflictor Nation!

Old Print Ad: Cleveland Motorcycles (1918)

January 27, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

You're up to 36 mph. Stop driving like a nut.

Named for the Ohio city where it was manufactured, the Cleveland motorcycle offered a sweet ride for a reasonable $175, in this 1918 advertisement. The Cleveland promised a top speed of 35-40 mph. It also claimed to get 75 miles to the gallon, but that may be stretching the truth. According to the Smithsonian (which has one of the vehicles in its collection), the Cleveland was one of the most popular lightweight cycles of its era. The final Cleveland, produced in 1927, was the first motorcycle to have a front brake. Rising costs and the Great Depression were too much for the company to overcome. The ad is aimed not only at prospective motorists but those looking to start dealerships. An excerpt from the copy:

“Get the thrill–if you’re a rider–of rambling over roads on a purring Cleveland. It gives you a sense of independence. Get the thrill–if you’re a Dealer–of scooting up the highway of prosperity on the Cleveland Agency. $175 for reliable, clean, quiet, economical vehicle, is in these days an astounding proposition.”

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Listeria: Top 15 Synonyms For “Criminal” in 1971

January 26, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

Lester J. Gillis (aka Babyface Nelson) in a 1931 mug shot. I would pinch his cute face if he would just stop trying to murder me for a minute.

In a post I put up yesterday, I introduced you to my favorite reference book, the 1971 edition of Webster’s New World Thesaurus. Indulge me once again as I post the top 15 synonyms for the word “criminal” from this book filled with colorful language.

  • Big brains
  • Bird dog
  • Black marketeer
  • Buccaneer
  • Check artist
  • Clip artist
  • Fixer
  • Gorilla
  • Greaser
  • Nightrider
  • Ringer
  • Rustler
  • Second-story man
  • Stooge
  • Torpedo plugger

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Science/Tech: Information Does Not Want To Free

January 25, 2010 in Misc., Science/Tech | Permalink

Okay, some information wants to be free.

Over at the Rough Type blog, the always probing and questioning Nick Carr has a brief and bitter retort to those who say that in the Internet Age, information wants to be free. In his post titled “Information wants to be free my ass,” he points out that we’re paying plenty of money for delivery systems, so why quibble over tossing in a few pennies for content. An excerpt:

“Never before in history have people paid as much for information as they do today.

Do the math. Sit down right now, and add up what you pay every month for: Internet service, Cable TV service, Cellular telephone service (voice, data, messaging), Landline telephone service, Satellite radio, Netflix, Wi-Fi hotspots, TiVO and other information services

So what’s the total? $100? $200? $300? $400? Gizmodo reports that monthly information subscriptions and fees can easily run to $500 or more nowadays. A lot of people today probably spend more on information than they spend on food.”

There’s a lot of truth to what Carr is saying, but he loses me somewhat with his follow-up argument:

“It’s a strange world we live in. We begrudge the folks who actually create the stuff we enjoy reading, listening to, and watching a few pennies for their labor, and yet at the very same time we casually throw hundreds of hard-earned bucks at the saps who run the stupid networks through which the stuff is delivered. We screw the struggling artist, and pay the suit.”

No one is paying for cable TV for the wires but for the programs. We don’t begrudge the makers of the programs–their work is the attraction. And they receive part of the proceeds from the cable bill. If Carr is saying that the systems are getting too big a slice of the pie, that’s another argument. But content is what we love. Making that content available and navigable are also positives, but they are secondary ones to almost all of us. Perhaps cable TV is a bad point of debate for either Carr or I since its structure was in place before the Internet became the dominant medium, but Carr’s bone of contention may have more to do with self-appointed gurus pushing books than the rest of us. As the paradigm shift sorts itself out, we’ll pay for the content we want and need.

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Predictions: What Important Things Will Change In The Next Decade?

January 25, 2010 in Misc., Science/Tech | Permalink

I predict Afflictor.com will continue using crappy public domain art.

The Brooklyn Daily Eagle was hit or miss in its predictions about the 20th century, but Forbes blogger Rich Karlgaard tries a more reasonable length of time with his own 20 predictions for the next decade. (A thanks to the great site Newmark’s Door for pointing me to the post.) Here are just a few of his prognostications:

●Almost All Cancer Becomes Manageable
The good news about health in the 2010s is that almost all cancers will become manageable events, assuming reasonably early detection.

●Dow Hits 36,000
Finally.

●One Cloud Company (Or Another) Becomes the Most Valuable Company on Earth
Moore’s Law continues at the pace of 2x every two years. Bandwidth improves 3x every two years. These trends predict ubiquitous cloud cover for planet earth. Who will own the giant fog machine? Google? Cisco? Microsoft? Amazon? Huawei?

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Old Print Ad: Lysol Feminine Hygiene (1926)

January 25, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

Mother, I feel so happy and contented when your lady parts are fresh.

This 1926 advertisement would be odd under any circumstances, since it links a mother’s feminine hygiene to the degree of happiness her children will experience. But it seems even more unusual because the feminine hygiene product being sold is Lysol disinfectant. Yup, the stuff we today use today to disinfect toilets and sinks. Maybe everyone else is familiar with the history of this product, but I had no idea that Lysol was used as a douche. And while this ad doesn’t endorse it, a post-ciotal cleansing with Lysol was used for several decades as a birth control method. Ladies, please don’t try any of this at home. An excerpt from the ad copy:

“Just being a mother is a job with twenty-four hour shifts seven days a week.  There are some mothers who succeed so well in this difficult task that their children are happy and contented, proud of their homes, always glad to be there and to bring home their friends.

It is a magic quality in motherhood that works this spell. Always you find in these households a woman who has the charm, gentleness, poise, and a certain untiring vitality which comes from knowing how to take care of herself.

This effective antiseptic is three times stronger than the leading carbolic acid, yet it is so carefully blended that in proper proportion it cannot irritate or harm the most sensitive tissues. Absolutely safe, it provides a perfect protection against infection, and its gentle deodorant qualities are a safeguard of feminine daintiness.”

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Old Print Ad: Altair 8800 Computer Kit (1975)

January 22, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

Altair BASIC was an early programming language and the first product of Microsoft (then called Micro-Soft). Bill Gates (who was still at Harvard at the time) and Paul Allen apparently read about the Altair personal computer system in a science magazine and thought that making software for it could be a good business. You got that one right, boys.

This 1975 advertisement offers the Altair 8800 computer loaded with the MS guys’ basic language for the relatively inexpensive price of $995. In order to save records, you would hook up this computer to a cassette recorder and store the info on cassette tapes. The MITS (Micro Instruments and Telemetry Systems) company of Albuquerque, NM, distributed the computer and software. MITS was founded in 1971 as a calculator manufacturer and added computers to their inventory in 1975, so this was one of their first attempts at selling PCs. The Altair 8800 was the first commercially successful home computer and the Information Age was off and running. MITS co-founder Ed Roberts, who had earlier served in the Air Force for ten years, sold the company to Pertec Computer Corporation in 1976. He subsequently went to medical school and today practices medicine in a small town in Georgia.

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Decoder: Jay Leno’s Speech About The Late Night Controversy

January 20, 2010 in Humor, Misc. | Permalink

My chin grows when I lie.

Jay Leno is probably no more insincere and greedy than anyone else in show business. But he tries so hard to prove he’s a solid working-class American who’s above the fray that he comes across as passive-aggressive and manipulative. His recent speech about the late-night talk show wars is a good example of his bullshit. The following is a decoded version of the least-honest moments of Leno’s address.

Jay Leno: I said, Well, I’ve been No. 1 for 12 years. They said, We know that, but we don’t think you can sustain that. I said, Okay. How about until I fall to No. 2, then you fire me? No, we made this decision.

Decoder: I actually hadn’t been number one for all 12 years. I struggled mightily during my first couple of years. Thankfully, Johnny Carson wasn’t hovering over me every second, campaigning to get his job back. Especially since he was pushed out of the job in favor of me while he was still number one in the ratings.

Jay Leno: Don’t blame Conan O’Brien. Nice guy, good family guy, great guy.

Decoder: I’m the one everyone is blaming, so I am going to pivot and pretend Conan is somehow the object of scorn. Then I will absolve him of the fictional blame to make myself look magnanimous. Also: I am the kind of solid American who can judge the family values of others. Didn’t you notice my American flag lapel pin?

Jay Leno: I said, All right, can I keep my staff? There are 175 people that work here.

Decoder: It’s not about my ego. It’s about me keeping my staff employed during these difficult economic times. I am very thoughtful that way.

Jay Leno: Conan’s show during the summer…we’re not on…was not doing well.

Decoder: My historically poor lead-in is not responsible for Conan trailing David Letterman. I also trailed Letterman during my first couple of years as Tonight Show host, so I speak from experience.

Jay Leno: They said, Well, look, how about you do a half-hour show at 11:30? Now, where I come from, when your boss gives you a job and you don’t do it, well…

Decoder: I am just a working stiff like Joe Lunchpail. A working stiff with hundreds of millions of dollars and hundreds of vintage cars, but I’ve still got to punch the clock and support my wife because I’m a good family man.

Jay Leno: I said okay. Shake hands, that’s it. I don’t have a manager, I don’t have an agent, that’s my handshake deal.

Decoder: I’m a regular guy like you, not one off these show biz phonies with managers and agents. At one point, I did have a manager and she worked tirelessly to get Carson pushed out of the Tonight Show so I could have the job, even though Johnny was number one in the ratings.

Jay Leno: Yeah, I’ll take the show back. If that’s what he wants to do. This way, we keep our people working, fine.

Decoder: Again, it’s about my staff keeping their jobs, not about my ambitions.

Jay Leno: But through all of this, Conan O’Brien has been a gentleman. He’s a good guy. I have no animosity towards him.

Decoder: In a couple of days, I will make a joke about what an overrated millionaire Conan is. He’s not a working class hero like me.

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Old Print Ad: Breschard And Co. Circus (1814)

January 20, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

"Horsemanship executed in a superior stile."

How incredibly lucky those people in Alexandria, Virginia, were in 1814 to have a chance to see “Mr. Menial, in the character of Clown, endeavor to please the audience,” at the Breschard and Co. Circus, which had only recently performed in the city of Baltimore. This 1814 newspaper advertisement may not be an example of great copywriting, but it’s hard to pass up on the chance to see horsemanship “executed in a superior stile.” And let’s never forget the Elegant Horse Conqueror. He performed the part of the Domestic Dog, who brought, at the command of his master, a handkerchief, whip, hat, basket and walked on his knees. There is no ticket price listed, but it was a bargain at any price.

●Read other old print ads.

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Listeria: Top 12 Predictions For The Next Century In The December 1900 Brooklyn Daily Eagle

January 19, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

Somebody destroyed my pneumatic tube with a tomahawk.

I got my grubby, ink-stained hands on a special supplement from the December 30, 1900 issue of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle, which bore the headline: “Things Will Be So Different A Hundred Years Hence.”The papers’ editors used that section to predict life on Earth in the year 2000. Some of the prognostications worked out better than others, but the whole fascinating thing reads like an Onion parody. Here are the 12 most interesting headlines:

  • Liquid Air Will Open Up A New World of Wonders
  • New York To Be The World’s Metropolis
  • Interest In Music Will Increase Constantly
  • Mail By Pneumatic Tubes A Possibility For All Houses In Future
  • Women To Have The Ballot
  • Women To Be Homemakers
  • Base Ball, The National Game, Is Steadily Declining
  • Automobiles And Airships The Twentieth Century Vehicles
  • Man To Live Longer And Be Happier Owing To Use Of Plant Foods Only
  • Science May Find Means To Bring Dead To Life
  • International Court To Prevent War
  • Wars To Be Waged As Of Old: We Will Revert To Using Tomahawks And Shotguns

●Read other Listeria lists.

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Old Print Ad: Dick Tracy Rapid Fire Tommy Gun, 1947

January 18, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

I'm proud of Junior. He just used his boyish enthusiasm to murder Flattop Jones.

Dick Tracy still runs in the dwindling number of newspapers that publish, but Chester Gould’s comic strip was truly a sensation during its heyday, when feds squared off with gangsters, Nazis and Cold War villains. Dick Tracy was the first strip to introduce brute violence to the funnies page, so it’s no surprise to see this 1947 advertisement for a toy tommy gun. For just $3.79, a kid could own a 20-inch replica firearm (“that looks and sounds like the real McCoy”). An excerpt from the ad:

“Watch other kids’ eyes pop when they see this wonderful TOMMY GUN. And when they hear that realistic “rat-a-tat-tat” of its trigger, they’ll stick ’em up in a hurry! Everyone wants one of these Dick Tracy TOMMY GUNS…but it’s first come, first served, so get your order in today… It’s the ideal gift for every youngster. Parents, here’s the perfect gift for your growing boy. If he’s a real Dick Tracy fan, his eyes will ‘pop’ when he sees this authentic Dick Tracy TOMMY GUN. And playing detective with this wonderful Dick Tracy TOMMY GUN and badge will increase his respect for the law, and at the same time offer him an outlet for his ‘boyish enthusiasm!'”

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Old Print Ad: Holcomb & Co’s Transfer Tablets, 1876

January 16, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

If you sit upon the Transfer Tablet, it will copyeth your ass.

“Multiplicity, Rapidity and Cheapness Combined” boasts this 1876 print advertisement for a hectograph product from the fine folks in Ohio at Holcomb & Co. The ad promises that up to 100 copies can be made in a mere 15 minutes. An excerpt from the ad:

“A new and remarkable invention for producing fac-simile copies of Reports, Circulars, Price Lists, Announcements, Maps, Programs, etc. No press, stencils, ink rollers or prepared paper required. The Process is neat and simple–anyone can do it. Simply write or draw on any paper with our Transfer Ink the matter to be reproduced. Press this sheet, when dry, upon the Prepared Tablets and  the matter is instantly transferred to the latter.”

There is a lot more information about early copying techniques at the Office Museum.

Listeria: Top 3 Astounding Failures Of Dick Ebersol’s NBC Career

January 15, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

Soon after this photo was taken, Dick Ebersol berated this peacock and spit in its face.

Longtime NBC executive Dick Ebersol today referred to Conan O’Brien in a New York Times article as an “astounding failure” for his brief tenure as Tonight Show host. But what are the most astounding failures of Dick Ebersol’s career? We’ll just examine the top three (without even mentioning the financial debacle the Olympics have become on his watch):

●The XFL: Perhaps the biggest debacle in the history of the network, this horrible football league that Ebersol launched with wrestling kingpin Vince McMahon combined terrible sports with worse sportsmanship. The players, coaches and announcers were encouraged to act like misbehaved children to give the league “attitude.” It was a colossal failure both creatively and ratings-wise. When you further consider that Ebersol has been in business with McMahon for years despite the promoter running a company whose stars consistently die from drug abuse, it’s even more shameful.

●Deborah Norville: When Ebersol was Senior Vice President of NBC News, he pushed the popular and intelligent Jane Pauley out of the Today Show to make room for his handpicked successor, the young, hot and vacant Norville. The new host was a flop and Ebersol lost control over the Today Show because of the terrible publicity that ensued.

●Saturday Night Live, 1981-1985: The “Tony Rosato Years” as we like to call them. Ebersol presided over an edge-less, dumbed-down SNL that would have been cancelled had Lorne Michaels not returned to run the show in 1986. Say what you will about Michaels, his SNL in any era is markedly better than Ebersol’s brand of lameness.

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The Sporting Life: Mark McGwire And The Media Strike Out In 1999

January 14, 2010 in Misc., Sports | Permalink

Mark McGwire finished his career with 583 home runs.

Sports Illustrated has many great articles in its online SI Vault, featuring work by some of the greatest nonfiction writers of the past 65 years. You should check it out. A less-than-great article is one I found by Tom Verducci, who breathlessly brushed aside talk of McGwire’s PED use in the August 16, 1999 issue. This isn’t a knock on Verducci, who is a talented guy and hardly the only one who rushed to believe McGwire’s lies instead of common sense; it’s more a portrait of that time. An excerpt:

“The home run count of Mark McGwire clicks away incessantly, like the spinning numbers on a speeding car’s odometer. Baseball had never seen a 500 like this. Daytona, maybe, but baseball? Not even close. It wasn’t just that McGwire blew away the old record pace of Babe Ruth—after belting No. 499 on Aug. 4, he could have gone 0 for 312 and still hit 500 home runs in fewer at bats than the Bambino—but it was also that McGwire hit the last hundred quicker than the hundred before that, which came quicker than the hundred before that, and so on and so on. Zero to 500 in 5,487 at bats of pure acceleration.

The celebration of 500 seemed all the more joyous because just before hitting it, McGwire revealed that four months ago he stopped taking androstenedione, a substance that the body converts to an anabolic steroid, out of concern that kids were following his lead. ‘This shows that andro is irrelevant,’ he said.”

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Old Print Ad: Essex Automobiles, 1919

January 13, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

Wouldn't this carriage propel faster if there was a horse afront pulling it?

The Essex automobile was a boom-and-bust story during the nascent days of the horseless carriage. The vehicle was produced by the Hudson Motor Company from 1918-1932. It became popular as a small, affordable car (various versions were priced under $1500) and models made later than the one pictured in this 1919 ad are responsible for popularizing the enclosed automobile. Essex sales helped Hudson become the number three auto company in America (after Ford and Chevrolet) by 1929. Its popularity waned in the early 1930s, however, and the line was permanently retired.

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Jay Leno And The Politics Of Late Night TV

January 12, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

I need the "Tonight Show" job to support my wife and chin.

In 2004, Jay Leno announced he would be stepping aside as Tonight Show host in favor of Conan O’Brien: “When I signed my new contract,” Leno said in a press release, “I felt that the timing was right to plan for my successor, and there is no one more qualified than Conan.” He discussed it further on the show, saying he didn’t want there to be an unpleasant transition like there was when he and David Letterman ended their longtime friendship over the awkward struggle to replace Johnny Carson.

When the time came for the baton to be passed, however, Leno was less sanguine about the transfer of late-night power. He still dominated Letterman in the ratings and didn’t want to abdicate the throne. Leno could have done several things. He could have refused the initial overtures in 2004 to step down from his post while he was still on top. He could have gone to another network in 2009 and beaten NBC at its own game. Or he could have tried to do a 10pm show the way he did.

But one thing he shouldn’t have done was to openly campaign to replace Conan just five months after O’Brien took over the Tonight Show. But that’s exactly what Leno did, in passive-aggressive mode, in a November 2 interview with Broadcasting & Cable. An excerpt:

“B&C: Do you want to go back to 11:35?

Jay Leno: If it were offered to me, would I take it? If that’s what they wanted to do, sure. That would be fine if they wanted to.”

During this whole public fiasco, Leno has maintained that no show has ever been cancelled when it was rated number one like his Tonight Show was. Actually it has happened before. It was in 1992, when Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show, which was rated number one, was cancelled when Leno’s manager got NBC brass to push Carson out of the job. Leno, eternally innocent, knew nothing about these machinations. He decided to not immediately relinquish the host’s chair when he found out about the back-room dealings. And even though Leno struggled mightily both creatively and ratings-wise at first, Carson never campaigned to get his job back.

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Old Print Ad: Billy Murray At The City Opera House

January 11, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

No, I am not familiar with a talkie called "Caddyshack."

This 1921 print ad touts a concert performance by Irish tenor Billy Murray and seven other recording artists to promote the Victor Talking Machine Company. Murray (1877-1954) was one of the most famous entertainers in the country during the early decades of the century, known for his comical style borne of vaudeville and medicine shows. You really couldn’t go anywhere without hearing “In My Merry Oldsmobile,” and why would you want to? Murray, a Philadelphia native raised in Denver, made his first wax cylinders in San Francisco in 1897. In that less-enlightened era, he recorded songs in ethnic dialects and minstrel-type performances. Murray was a huge fan of the New York Highlanders (later to be renamed the Yankees) and often played right field for them in exhibition games. (So, he really has more in common with Billy Crystal than Bill Murray, despite the name.) The introduction of the microphone to recording studios in 1925 favored subtler stylists who could croon, which pretty much ended Murray’s time in the limelight. He died in 1954 on Jones Beach, Long Island.

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Old Print Ad: First Coffee Advertisement

January 7, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

Coffee: superior to that concoction with boiled leaves and juice of the lemon.

I came across a public domain copy of the very first advertisement for coffee, which was published in the Publick Adviser of London on May 26, 1657. (Click on the image for a somewhat larger version.) The full ad (with numerous words in Middle English) reads:

“On Bartholomew Lane, on the back side of the Old Exchange, the drink called Coffee (which is a very wholsom and Physical drink, having many excellent vertues, closes the Orifice of the Stomack, fortifies the heat within, helpeth Digestion, quickneth the Spirits, maketh the heart lightsom, is good against Eye-sores, Coughs or Colds, Rhumes, Consumptions, Head-ach, Dropsie, Gout, Scurvy, Kings Evil, and many others, is to be sold both in the morning, and at three of the clock in the afternoon.)”

I know ads are often deceptive, but I’m drinking coffee as I write this post and my dropsie is much improved. Although it’s true that as of three of the clock in the afternoon, my Kings Evil is worse than ever.

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Great Photography Online: “Pelé Looks Back,” Life.com

January 4, 2010 in Misc., Photography, Sports | Permalink

Don't move so fast, Pelé. I have to set up my tripod.

Giants Stadium has had its final football game, but for a brief period in the late ’70s, the stands were packed for the other kind of football. The New York Cosmos of the North American Soccer League was an international glamor team of stars winding down their careers–and no star was bigger than Pelé. The Brazilian sensation, now 69, has curated a slideshow of spectacular photos of his career for Life.com. Of course, there are shots of Pelé making his amazing bicycle kick, scoring spectacular goals and meeting all manner of dignitaries. But there’s also a surprising one of him playing goalie, which he did occasionally in his career. The images are well worth checking out.

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Urban (And Rural) Studies: Smalltown America And Brain Drain

January 3, 2010 in Misc., Politics | Permalink

I am angry because my people, the whites, have been oppressed for too long!

Soft-headed demagogues like Sarah Palin try to draw a divide between American small towns and urban centers during election season, but similar problems plague both segments of our society: education, drugs, poverty, health care, etc. I came across The Rural Brain Drain, a smart article by married sociologists Patrick J. Carr and Maria J. Kefalas in a September Chronicle Review that articulately addresses how both the city mouse and the country mouse often end up in the same trap.–though, yes, the problems are more dire in small towns. They also offer some common-sense solutions. An excerpt:

“The Harvard University sociologist William Julius Wilson famously describes how deindustrialization, joblessness, middle-class flight, depopulation, and global market shifts gave rise to the urban hyper-ghettos of the 1970s, and the same forces are now afflicting the nation’s countryside. The differences are just in the details. In urban centers, young men with NBA jerseys sling dime bags from vacant buildings, while in small towns, drug dealers wearing Nascar T-shirts, living in trailer parks, sell and use meth. Young girls in the countryside who become mothers before finishing high school share stories of lost adolescence and despair that differ little from the ones their urban sisters might tell.”

Read the full article.

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