Misc.
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India: a country with lots of free time in between filming Bollywood epics.
From the outside, India would appear to be a fascinating country. But how do you explain the South Asian Republic being the first foreign nation of the year to visit Afflictor.com? Sure, Austria and the Netherlands are bored, but India’s the most populous democracy in the world and do you know how long it takes to count all those votes? Is Rajesh Khanna no longer sufficient entertainment for you and your friends, India? Is Virender Sehwag a batsman who no longer thrills? Whatever it is, you’re already here, so let’s do one of those Jai Ho dance numbers together. I’ll go look for my sherwani.
Tags: India, Netherlands
Lee Harvey Oswald shackled and clenched after his arrest in Dallas.
Briefly got my hands on a yellowing copy of the Long Island Press from November 22, 1963, the day after President John F. Kennedy was assassinated. The Press (which cost 5 cents) bore the headline: “Marxist Held As JFK Assassin; Johnson Meets With Rusk, Ike.”
The opening paragraph of the UPI story read: “Lee Harvey Oswald, an avowed Marxist and a Fidel Castro sympathizer, was charged today with the assassination of President Kennedy. Manacled, his face cut and bruised, his manner sullen, the 24-year-old political misfit and Marine reject was booked on a murder charge and jailed without bond. ‘This is ridiculous,’ Oswald said.”
The story unsurprisingly dominated nearly every section of the paper, from local (“Long Islanders React: He Was My Friend”) to sports (“AFL Erases Sunday Slate”). A few pre-packaged elements of the paper were untouched by the tragic events of the day. There was an ad for the Jack Lemmon romantic comedy Under the Yum-Yum Tree, playing at the Prudential Drive-In. In the classifieds, you could rent a 2 1/2 to 4 bedroom apartment for $109 in Jamaica, Queens; and a 2-story split colonial on Long Island cost $13,490. The Help Wanted ads were still openly sexist, with “Help Wanted–Male” clearly marked at the top of most of the advertisements.
The Long Island Press published for 156 years, going out of business in 1977.
Tags: Fidel Castro, Jack Lemmon, John F. Kennedy, Lee Harvey Oswald
The Netherlands: a country devoid of entertainments.
Austria was the first foreign country to have a citizen visit Afflictor.com, so it became widely known as the most bored place on Earth. But a certain parliamentary democratic constitutional monarchy known as the Netherlands rose to the challenge this week when one of its spiritless residents visited Afflictor. Who was the first browser from the Netherlands? Perhaps it was Dutch Interior Minsiter Guusje ter Horst. She doesn’t look like she has a whole lot going on. Maybe high-jump champion Frenke Bolt put her clothes on long enough to surf the web. Regardless, Austria and the Netherlands find themselves on opposite sides of a brutal struggle, much like during WWII. Fight fair, people.
Tags: Frenke Bolt, Guusje ter Horst, Netherlands
Not Rosie O'Donnell.
The New York Times Sunday Magazine published its wonderful annual “The Lives They Lived” issue last weekend and Nicholas Davidoff wrote a perfect send-off to the late, briefly great Detroit Tigers pitcher Mark “The Bird” Fidrych. It’s hard to explain the appeal the gangly, eccentric Fidrych held for children of that era. He was athlete, Muppet and rock star all at once. He was the awkward kid who grew to greatness without losing his awkwardness. Because of injuries, his career was sadly brief; because of an accident, his life tragically so. From the article:
“We had sensed how well he understood childhood. I was not the only self-conscious adolescent who on a sad day decided to tell a baseball about it. Seeing an adult acting like a boy also made the promise of growing up seem attractive. That a man could behave strangely and be applauded led you to think that eccentricity might be a virtue.
Any great athlete’s career represents a life span in miniature, an early lesson in mortality. Fidrych’s allotted days were as evanescent as his baseball career. Last spring, at 54, while he was repairing his dump truck, his shirt got caught in the drive shaft and he suffocated. There is something particularly brutal about the pitcher who publicly played with dirt being killed by the vehicle he used to carry it, as there is about a man who died young twice.”
Read the full piece.
Tags: Mark Fidrych, Nicholas Davidoff
I got my designer jeans on, ladies. Let's go boogie at Studio 54.
During a grungier era in New York, Rolling Stone published an issue dedicated to the city. The October 6, 1977 edition bore a cover with a Warhol silkscreen treatment of pioneering female politician Bella Abzug. (It was Abzug who first said “You have to be a little crazy to live in New York.”) Writers fixated on Abzug’s hats the way they do with Hilary’s pantsuits. With female politicians, it always seems to be about the clothes.
There’s an interesting article titled “Elliot Murphy’s New York,” in which the singer-songwriter, novelist and journalist lists some of his favorite places of the moment. Murphy was raised in the city by the family that owned Aquashow. a water ballet arena that was located on the former World’s Fair grounds. During Murphy’s childhood, big-band concerts by Duke Ellington, Count Basie and others took place there.
One of Murphy’s favorite places of the moment was Fiorucci, a designer clothes outlet right near Bloomingdale’s that sold skintight jeans suitable for Studio 54 to Madonna, Cher, Marc Jacobs, etc. (It closed in 1984.) Murphy writes: “I have seen 50-year-old women walk into Fiorucci and ask one of the dancing salesmen (disco music is omnipresent) what is the latest thing. I have seen these same women walk out in gold láme hot pants. When you buy jeans at Fiorucci they fit them as tight as they can. I think this is a form of Italian birth control. Fiorucci clothing is usually very well-made though with the way fashion changes these days, by the time it makes it through the third wash it’s out of style anyway.”
Tags: Andy Warhol, Bell Abzug, Cher, Count Basie, Duke Ellington, Elliot Murphy, Madonna, Marc Jacobs
Orders for the towel were processed out of an office at 305 Madison Avenue.
This very non-PC advertisement for Confederate Beach Towels can be seen in the July 1960 issue of Esquire. An appropriate covering for the Jesse Helms Sand Castle Tournament, this wrap cost $4.95. The copy promises: “You don’t have to risk Yankee gunfire to cover yourself with glory on this quality 6′ by 3′ Cannon beach towel with the stars and bars ingrained in blazing red, white and blue.”
Printed on large Life-size paper, this 152-page issue was a special edition that focused exclusively on New York City. Despite a formidable roster on contributors (James Baldwin, Truman Capote, Salvador Dali, etc.), it’s not a particularly inspired issue. Publisher Arnold Gingrich had yet to appoint Harold Hayes as Editor-in-Chief. (Both Hayes and legendary New York magazine founder Clay Felker were already on the masthead.) After Hayes ascension to the top post, he would team with designer George Lois to make Esquire during the ’60s arguably the best American magazine in the history of the business.
Tags: Arnold Gingrich, Clay Felker, Confederate Flag, Esquire, Harold Hayes, james Baldwin, Jesse Helms, Salvador Dali, Truman Capote
Austria: A country with nothing better to do.
It was incredibly exciting this week at the Afflictor.com offices in Brooklyn when we crunched the data and realized our site had its first visitor from Austria. We were mostly excited because we read the info quickly and initially thought it said “Australia.” But still, it’s something, right? Thank you, Austria, for your interest, for your business and for letting us know that you have absolutely nothing to do in your own country. You would think you’d pass time by eating Krapfen or skiing or listening to Mahler, but apparently not. We’re bored, too. God bless.
Tags: Krapfen, Mahler
Never enjoyed the market dominance of Connect Four.
This print ad for a Mattel game called Stop Dot comes from the October 30, 1970 issue of Life magazine. The issue cost 50 cents and had a cover story about Dick Cavett, who was then turning out for ABC what still is the best talk show ever produced on U.S. television. Most of the Cavett article focuses on how nervous he was about performing on TV. There is a gallery of work by Austrian photographer Hans-Peter Klemenz. an advertisement for the unfortunately titled AYDS Diet Plan, an article about Ronald Reagan’s presidential aspirations, a piece about separatist violence in Quebec, a story about an Australian Outback tough guy Larry Dulhunty and a long piece about Double Helix scientist James Watson and his search for a cure for cancer.
The advertisement for Stop Dot game refers to the 3-D toy as “that op-art looking thing.” The instructions are as follows: “To win, you have to make a straight row of five dots in five different colors, without putting any dot next to a dot of the same color.”
The product apparently never caught on. According to Boardgamegeek.com, the game was manufactured by Mattel only in 1969. There are two for sale currently on eBay, one for $7.99 and one for $69.95. This particular issue of Life magazine currently sells on eBay for anywhere from $1.99 and $24.99.
Tags: AYDS Diet Plan, Dick Cavett, Double Helix, Hans-Peter Klemenz, James Watson, Larry Dulhunty, Mattel, Ronald Reagan, Stop Dot
Carson had his own clothing line, which was sold by Sears in 1984-1985.
Rolling Stone still had a paper cover in 1979 and resembled the average alt-weekly in its materials and design. Janet Maslin gave a favorable review to Elvis Costello’s new album, Armed Forces. And Graham Nash was “making a concerted effort to stop nuclear power.” (Thanks for handling that one, Graham.) Johnny Carson had another 13 years to go in his reign as the “King of Late Night.” He touched on one of the reasons for his enduring popularity:
“I like to work with elderly people and children. I don’t know why I respect older people. I like working with kids. Maybe it’s the vulnerability of them. There’s a charm about older people that sometimes is childlike, and I enjoy them, first of all, because they can say anything they want to, which is just great. Age gives you a leg up on what you can say because you don’t have to account to anybody. You’ve lived and learned your right to sound off. They’ll just say. ‘Oh, well, screw that. I don’t like that, that’s a lot of shit.’ And they lay it right out.”
Tags: Elvis Costello, Graham Nash, Janet Maslin, Johnny Carson
Say "cheese," you damned planet Earth.
I don’t know if it was Boing Boing or Kottke that first pointed me in the direction of the great photography site, The Big Picture, but I’m grateful to whichever it was. Currently featured is the amazing “2009 in Photos,” which covers everything from Obama’s inauguration to the June political riots in Tehran. My personal favorites are the eye-popping shots from the Hubble Space Telescope. Feast on the three-part feature.
Tags: 2009, Barack Obama, Boing Boing, Iran, Jason Kottke
The chin strap interferes with my smoking.
From a March 1968 copy of Life magazine comes this print ad for a smoking-deterrent tablet called Bantron. The spokesperson in the ad is former New York Giants quarterback Y.A. Tittle. From Tittle’s testimonial:
“After my doctor advised me to stop smoking I made many starts–with no success. Just as I needed help on the football field, I found that desire, alone, wasn’t enough to stop smoking. Then Bantron was recommended to me by a friend. Bantron did the job! I stopped smoking completely in 5 days and I’m proud to say I haven’t smoked in well over a year. It’s like quarterbacking my team to a championship. It’s a real accomplishment.”
Bantron, which featured the active ingredient lobeline sulphate, was passed many times from one company to another into the 1980s and is no longer manufactured.
Tittle, who was the subject of perhaps the most famous photo in football history, was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1971. He is 83 years old today and was honored earlier this year by LSU, his alma mater.
Tags: Bantron, Y.A. Tittle
Yes, I just photographed a newspaper with my cellphone. Stupid, right?
Plenty of attention will be paid to “Will Big Business Save the Earth?,” Jared Diamond’s contrarian Op-Ed piece in the New York Times. That’s because Diamond is no lobbyist or apologist for big business. He’s a professor of geography at the University of California at Los Angeles and the author of Guns, Germs and Steel: The of Human Societies, which won a Pulitzer. The opening of the article:
“There is a widespread view, particularly among environmentalists and liberals, that big businesses are environmentally destructive, greedy, evil and driven by short-term profits. I know — because I used to share that view. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Jared Diamond
It's "Kiss a Ginger Day." Hooray!
On his new Tonight Show, Conan O’Brien has the indescribable William Shatner on as a regular guest, but it’s Adam West who was Conan’s first love. Before Seth MacFarlane got his filthy paws on the self-mocking erstwhile Caped Crusader, the late-night host was sort of obsessed with West. From a 1997 Rolling Stone interview :
“I maintain that the television series Batman is one of the most brilliant pieces of American art in the last 30 years,” says O’Brien. The article recalls how a young Conan and the ever-brilliant Robert Smigel teamed with West on a network television series that never got off the ground.
The article continues: “In 1991, O’Brien and fellow Batman obsessive Robert Smigel, his friend from SNL, made a pilot [called Lookwell] for NBC. Of course, it starred Adam West.
Smigel: “We were so happy. We had to fight so hard to get Adam West to be the guy.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Batman, Conan O'Brien, Lookwell, Robert Smigel, Seth MacFarlane, William Shatner
Evan R. Goldstein has a really interesting article in The Chronicle of Higher Education about computer-science genius, conservative polemicist, Jewish scholar, Yale professor, artist and Unabomber target David Gelernter. In one passage, Gelernter addresses his odd-duck assortment of ideas and interests:
“‘I’m a misfit,’ he said. ‘Most people fit in a groove and focus on one thing, but I cut across the grain of different areas.’ In conversation, the eclecticism of Gelernter’s mind is immediately apparent. An opinionated raconteur, he seamlessly transitions from literary criticism (‘Deconstructionists destroy texts’), to trends in the art world (‘Modern museums are devoted to diversity as opposed to greatness’), gender roles (‘Women mainly work because of male greed’), contemporary politics (‘Anti-Semitism in Europe is so intense that, I think, Hitler would have an easier time today then he did in 1933’), and earthier topics (‘I am obsessed with sex and sexuality as much as anyone I have ever met’).” Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: 1939 World's Fair, Adolph Hitler, David Gelernter, George W. Bush
The 100th anniversary Katzenjammer stamp.
What American comic strip characters were created in 1897 and are still being syndicated to this very day? No, it’s not that evil temptress Betty Boop or Felix the Cat that cat with the magic bag of tricks who won’t even share his cool magic bag of tricks with anyone ’cause he’s selfish. No, it’s Hans and Fritz Katzenjammer, those irascible Lower East Side German immigrant children who give grief to their Mama with all manner of gentle hi-jinx in the Katzenjammer Kids strip. It first appeared in the “American Humorist” section of William Randolph Hearst’s New York Journal, was adapted as a stage play in 1903 and became the subject of a six-decade feud between original creator Rudolph Dirks and the Hearst organization beginning in 1912. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Betty Boop, Felix the Cat, Rudolph Dirks, The Katzenjammer Kids, William Randolph Hearst
We’ve all heard the urban legend about the guy who goes out to buy a pack of cigarettes and is never seen again. While it may have largely been a myth, it was possible before the information age to willfully vanish without a trace. But is it still an option in our digital world? In the November Wired cover story, “Vanish: Finding Evan Ratliff,” the magazine attempted to answer the question by offering a $5000 bounty to anyone who could locate their writer, who tried to go underground while staying on the grid. From the article:
“If you are looking to launch a disappearance, I cannot recommend any location more highly than a big-city Greyhound bus station. A mode of transportation Americans have seemingly left to the poor and desperate, it reeks of neglect and disdain. But for anonymity in the post-9/11 world — when the words “I’ll just need to see a photo ID” are as common as a handshake — bus travel remains a sanctuary untouched by security. At the station in Las Vegas, I paid cash for a ticket under the name James Gatz, no ID required. Six cramped hours later I was in Los Angeles.” Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Evan Ratliff, Wired
A peacock. But proud?
NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams seems like an all-around good guy and may be the funniest person on network television, but comments he made on a recent Daily Nightly blog post gave me pause. He wrote the following:
“One internet headline today perfectly summed up the odd mix of stories currently being covered by the media—and the blurring of importance between the two. It read: “Tiger Woods Admits Cheating, No One Knows What Will Happen In Afghanistan.”
That damned media! How dare they confuse the seriousness of important news with tabloid sensationalism. It must be difficult for Brian Williams and his family to sit at home and watch the anchor of NBC Nightly News run Tiger Woods stories ad nauseam and spend precious airtime on the Yale murder case, which taught us nothing, instead of focusing more minutes on health care or Afghanistan. Maybe someday Williams will host a news program and things will be different. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Brian Williams, NBC, Tiger Woods, Yale Murder Case
Let's go hit some golf balls, you orange-haired freak.
The extremely bizarre and extremely great Bing Crosby-David Bowie duet of “Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy” has become a popular Christmas chestnut. It’s one of the few holiday songs in heavy rotation that doesn’t cause fits of revulsion. But there were plenty of logistical problems that the producers had to circumvent to pull off the odd pairing, not the least of which was Crosby’s failing health. From a 2006 Washington Post article entitled, “Bing and Bowie: An Odd Story of Holiday Harmony”:
“How did this almost surreal mash-up of the mainstream and the avant-garde, of cardigan-clad ’40s-era crooner and glam rocker, happen? It almost didn’t. Bowie, who was 30 at the time, and Crosby, then 73, recorded the duet Sept. 11, 1977, for Crosby’s “Merrie Olde Christmas” TV special. A month later, Crosby was dead of a heart attack. The special was broadcast on CBS about a month after his death.
ALSO:
Read the full Washington Post article.
Watch the original video.
Tags: Bing Crosby, David Bowie, Washington Post
ME WANT PIZZA!
Everyone hates a know-it-all. The kind of person who has the answer for everything and makes the rest of us feel like baboons. Sarah Palin is such a person. She excelled at all 12 colleges she attended, continually moving on in pursuit of greater intellectual challenges. Brainiac. But I think I finally caught her at something less than 100 percent accuracy. No, I swear.
On a recent Fox News appearance, Palin said the following to into the petrified rock that is Greta Van Susteren’s head:
“There’s been a lack of acknowledgment by our president in understanding what it is that the American military provides in terms of, obviously, the safety, the security of our country. I want him to acknowledge the sacrifices that these individual men and women — our sons, our daughters, our moms, our dads, our brothers and sisters — are providing this country to keep us safe.”
Well, smarty pants, you may have whiffed on this one.
Obama praises troops for progress in Iraq.
Obama praises troops during surprise visit to Iraq.
Obama visits wounded U.S. troops in Germany.
Obama praises troops bravery after base attack.
Obama visits wounded soldiers at Walter Reed.
Obama honors fallen soldiers.
Obama praises military during visit to a Florida naval base.
Tags: Barack Obama, Greta Van Susteren, Sarah Palin
A delicious photo shoot.
I fear the Balloon Boy saga has forever given hoaxes a bad name. Well, not forever, but for the time being. The backlash wasn’t the result of a family pretending a child was in peril. You can convince the whole nation its imperiled and emerge a genius. The problem with the Balloon Boy prank was its utter crassness; it signified nothing more than a sloppy attempt at reality-show riches. It taught people nothing and delivered no sense of wonder or fun. In short, you need to have style and understand context to be a respected hoaxer. Someone who fits that bill is Alan Abel, the proudest practitioner of the art.
Since the late 1950s, Abel has been pranking his way into media professionals’ hearts and craws, showing Americans that they are “a nation of sheep” who too readily believe what they are told. And his opinion of the gullible media is no kinder.
There was his campaign for S.I.N.A. (Society for Indecency to Naked Animals.), in which he convinced TV and newspapers that he was a prudish crusader who wanted animals to have to wear pants in public. And who can forget the time he planted audience members at a live taping of Donahue and had them faint on cue. Hoaxes are an important tool that help us maintain a healthy skepticism. Long may they (and Abel) live.
ALSO:
Alan Abel’s official site.
Watch Abel Raises Cain, a documentary about Abel on Hulu.
Esquire interviews Alan Abel.
Jiffy Pop popcorn. Mmm….
Tags: Alan Abel, Balloon Boy
