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Old Print Ad: Replica Nazi And Fascist Firearms For Children (1947)

August 18, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

It's fun pretending I'm a Nazi, Mom!

Toys were less politically correct back in the day, but these 1947 items from Little Novelty Company in Long Beach, California, were doozies by any standards. When we were just a couple years removed from WWII, this ad, which ran in comic books, offered children replica German and Italian firearms for a measly $1.25. You know, weapons just like the ones that were used to murder Allied soldiers and force Jewish people into death camps. An excerpt from the copy:

“Kids! Kids! Kids! Adults too! Here is a gun that is exactly like that carried by the German officers in World War II. It is the improved model of the German Luger. Reproduced in actual size, design and balance. Made of solid cast aluminum and finished in gun-metal black. An authentic World War II souvenir.

Also available: The Celebrated Italian 7.65 Brevettata. This small, semi-automatic pistol was one of the finest made by the Fascists. Carried by the crack Italian Alpine troops. Later used by the underground. Reproduced in actual size, design and balance. Made of solid cast aluminum and finished in gun-metal black.

Absolutely Safe! Cannot Be Fired.”

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Miscellaneous Media: Spy Magazine (1989)

August 18, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

Spy magazine existed during the ’80s mostly to ensure that Tama Janowitz didn’t get away with too much. You see, Tama Janowitz wrote novels that were more successful than their merit suggested they should be, so she needed to be put in her place. Thankfully, a bunch of jackasses with fancy educations who wished they were writing crappy books that sold a lot of copies were there to ridicule her. Take that, Tama Janowitz!

Seriously, Kurt Andersen and Graydon Carter chose just the right moment to publish Spy. New York was in the midst of a decade of greed that rivaled the Roaring Twenties for excess but with none of the earlier era’s panache. The publication was there to take the piss out of the whole stupid thing–the Milkens, the Helmsleys, the Trumps. (I will always feel indebted to Spy for dubbing Donald Trump a “short-fingered vulgarian.”) I can’t say I ever read the magazine much at the time, but the only things that came out of that decade that ended up influencing comedy more were Letterman and the Simpsons.

I got my grimy, grubby fingers on a copy of the October 1989 issue that is built around the “Spy 100,” the snarky mag’s annual takedown of insider traders, political advisors and all manner of irksome cretins that made NYC break out in hives. It features a fairly famous cover that shows President Bush (the sleepy one, not his son who gave the entire planet a vigorous rogering from behind) with words carved into his hair, as was the idiotic custom of some kids of the time. (The idea was later borrowed for this Newsweek cover.) The list skewers the expected (political hit-man Lee Atwater was number one), the unexpected (people excessively grieving the late Lucille Ball) and, yes, Tama Janowitz. An excerpt from the passage about hotelier horror Leona Helmsley:

“Caught billing more than $4 million in personal expenses to the real estate empire she gold-dug out of her now-enfeebled husband. Convicted of tax evasion (conspiracy and mail fraud; acquitted on charges of extortion of kickbacks from cowering business vendors). Continued running self-reverential ads. Anticipating the horror stories about her routine terorization of employees, Leona’s lawyer admitted in opening remarks–boasted even–that she was a ‘tough bitch.’ Trump called her a ‘disgrace to humanity in general.'”

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Recently Posted On NYC’s Craigslist

August 17, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

Not Pablo, but an amazing simulation.

Adorable cuddly Chinchilla up for adoption (free). (Fairfield CT)

It is with great sadness that I write this add today. My wife Elizabeth and I have owned a male Chinchilla (Pablo) for almost 6 years now. He is great, we love him but unfortunately we are looking to have him adopted as we are running out of room quickly in our townhouse. We have a son that is 2.5 years old and a baby girl on the way due in September. As of now my son has his own room and Pablo is situated in our spare bedroom; also know affectionately as “Pablo’s room”. Once our little girl arrives there will no longer be a spare bedroom; we are moving my son into his “big boy room” which is currently Pablo’s/the spare bedroom and converting his current room into a nursery for our baby girl.

I thought we would have moved into a larger home by now, but with the horrible economy and me losing my job about a year ago we have not been able to do so. So, for both economic reasons and for living space/constraints (we are literally running out of room) we are considering trying to find Pablo a new home. However, we are nervous…..we feel very guilty/sad and we don’t want to just give him away to anyone. We also feel bad that we have not been able to give Pablo as much attention then we used to with our son taking up a lot our attention and now our newest addition on the way. We want him to have a good home, more space and someone/somewhere where he will get love and attention as well.

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Mad Magazine Rejection Letter From Way Back

August 16, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

The proto-Alfred E. Neuman.

The great Letters of Note website, which publishes antique missives that have some historical value, has published an old rejection letter that Mad magazine used to send out to writers and artists who didn’t quite make the grade. It dates from the reign of editor Al Feldstein, who ran the mag for 29 years, beginning in 1956. See the original letter and stationery, and read the transcript below:

“Dear Contributor:-

Sorry, but we’ve got bad news!

You’ve been rejected!

Don’t take this personally though. All of us feel rejected at one time or another. At least, that’s what our group therapist tells us here at MAD. He says we shouldn’t worry about it.

So that should be your attitude: ‘What-Me worry?’

Besides – although you’ve been rejected, things could have been a lot worse. Your material might have been ACCEPTED!

Then where would you be?

MAD-ly

(Signed, ‘Al Feldstein’)

Al Feldstein
Editor

P.S. Our group therapist also mentioned that many people are so rejected by a rejection that they don’t try again. And we wouldn’t want THAT! We really WOULD like you to keep sending us your article ideas and scripts. . .so we can keep sending you these idiotic rejection slips!”

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Miscellaneous Media: Artis Gilmore ABA Card

August 14, 2010 in Misc., Sports | Permalink

Card insert shows off Gilmore's amazing Afro.

I recently got my long, elegant fingers on an Artis Gilmore basketball card from 1973-74, when the 7′ 2″ center was entering his third season with the Kentucky Colonels of the American Basketball Association. Gilmore played 17 seasons in the ABA and NBA and was one of the greatest big men of all time, making the All-Star team 11 times. He played one additional season in Italy. It’s a perplexing oversight that the Gilmore has never even been close to being voted into the Basketball Hall of Fame. Perhaps his strong game has been overshadowed by his even stronger Afro.

In 2007, Gilmore joined the staff of his alma mater, Jackonsville University. That’s the last reference to him I can find. The following is the text on the reverse side of his card:

“The top vote-getter in balloting for the 1972-73 ABA All-Star Team, Artis was the only repeater from the 1971-72 First Team. A dominating man in the middle on defense and off the boards, he led the league in Rebounding, 2-Point Field Goal Shooting and Blocked Shots for the second consecutive season. Artis also was 10th in Scoring with 20.8 Average. Artis and his wife became parents for the 1st time 1-26-73.”

More Miscellaneous Media:

  • San Francisco cable car ticket stub. (1990s)
  • Bronx high school newspaper. (1947)
  • Mad magazine. (1966)
  • Vancouver Blazers hockey guide. (1974-75)
  • John Hummer NBA card. (1973)
  • Carolina Cougars ABA Yearbook. (1970)
  • The Washington Senators MLB Yearbook. (1968)
  • Ugandan currency with Idi Amin’s picture. (1973)
  • Tom Van Arsdale basketball card. (1970)
  • “Okie from Muskogee” sheet music. (1969)
  • California Golden Seals hockey magazine. (1972)
  • Beatles Film Festival Magazine (1978)
  • ABA Pictorial (1968-69)
  • Tom Seaver’s Baseball Is My Life. (1973)
  • Hockey Digest (1973)
  • World’s Fair Guide (1964)
  • World’s Fair Guide (1939)
  • Buffalo Braves Yearbook (1972-73)
  • New York Nets Yearbook (1976-77)
  • “Tom Dooley” sheet music.

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    Afflictor Nation: Welcome Aboard, China!

    August 14, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

    President Hu Jintao: Started life as a panda. (Image by U. Dettmar/ABr.)

    In its short existence, Afflictor has built a strong following in many nations around the globe, but we hadn’t been able to break through the great wall of China’s censorship–until now that is! This week, for some reason, we’ve had quite a bit of traffic from the world’s most populous country. Despite government fear that media freedom will topple its one-party Communist system, China was unable to prevent some of its people from visiting the profane, idiotic website known as Afflictor.

    A controlling state that aims to use military force and censorship to keep its citizens like children, China is known for buying American debt, building garish architecture, forcing its people to move willy-nilly wherever it wants them to and battling that other evil empire, Google. There are reportedly 20 different areas of censorship in China, and we’re pretty sure Afflictor violates all of them. So good for you, people of China, for saying “no” to ludicrous restrictions on your freedoms. And welcome to Afflictor Nation!

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    “Highlights” From Another Week Of Afflictor Crap

    August 14, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

    Afflictor: Helping bank security guards stay alert since 2009. (Image by Brad & Sabrina.)

    Recently Posted On NYC’s Craigslist

    August 11, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

    "Controlled sparring." (Image by Rls.)

    sparring club opening (medford)

    Im looking for fighters who want to train and beat the shit out of each other…period. controlled sparring. must be atleast 18.

    Miscellaneous Media: San Francisco Cable Car Ticket Stub (1990s)

    August 10, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

    Cable Cars: Faster than traveling by burro.

    I found this old cable car ticket stub that I still had from a trip to San Francisco in the late ’90s. I used it as bookmark for a while, and it’s been sitting in a desk drawer ever since. I don’t remember what a fare cost in those days and there’s no price listed on the stub. On the ticket’s reverse side, there’s some text entitled “Cable Car Facts.” An excerpt:

    “Invented in San Francisco, the cable cars have been operating here since Andrew Hallidie first ran his creation down the Clay Street Hill in 1873.

    Once a form of transportation used in cities around the world, the San Francisco cable cars are the last in daily revenue service. They were made a National Historic Landmark in 1964.

    The cable cars travel a sturdy 9 1/2 miles per hour when they grip the steel cable that runs beneath the street.

    Double ended cable cars run only on California Street and the smaller single-ended cars run on the Powell-Mason and Powell-Hyde lines.

    The cable car barn at Washington and Mason houses the cable car museum and the machinery that moves the cable.”

    More Miscellaneous Media:

  • Bronx high school newspaper. (1947)
  • Mad magazine. (1966)
  • Vancouver Blazers hockey guide. (1974-75)
  • John Hummer NBA card. (1973)
  • Carolina Cougars ABA Yearbook. (1970)
  • The Washington Senators MLB Yearbook. (1968)
  • Ugandan currency with Idi Amin’s picture. (1973)
  • Tom Van Arsdale basketball card. (1970)
  • “Okie from Muskogee” sheet music. (1969)
  • California Golden Seals hockey magazine. (1972)
  • Beatles Film Festival Magazine (1978)
  • ABA Pictorial (1968-69)
  • Tom Seaver’s Baseball Is My Life. (1973)
  • Hockey Digest (1973)
  • World’s Fair Guide (1964)
  • World’s Fair Guide (1939)
  • Buffalo Braves Yearbook (1972-73)
  • New York Nets Yearbook (1976-77)
  • “Tom Dooley” sheet music.

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    Recently Posted On NYC’s Craigslist

    August 10, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

    Clarence Darrow represented the defense in the Scopes-Monkey Trial in exchange for a pedicure.

    Attorney/Lawyer for Barter – $1 (Upper East Side)

    Bartering attorney services from full service firm which includes ivy league educated lawyers for equal trade. Let us know what you have to offer. This is not a free. We offer top notch legal representation however we are willing to accept goods or services if you make the right offer.

    Some wanted items:

    1. Spanish lessons
    2. Spa gift certificates
    3. Restaurant Meals
    4. Dentist
    5. Bloomingdale gift certificates
    6. Yoga works gift certificate/ private yoga instruction
    7. Make me an offer….

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    Miscellaneous Media: A 1947 Newspaper Published By A Bronx High School

    August 7, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

    Bettie B. will earn about $1,600 in her first year as a telephone operator. Perhaps now she can afford to have that hideous neck scar removed.

    I briefly got my greasy, grimy hands on a yellowed October 10, 1947 copy of The Admiral, a daily newspaper of amazingly high quality that was published by the students and teachers at Christopher Columbus High School in the Bronx. Columbus was at the time (still is?) a school that excelled in writing, oration and theater, turning out Anne Bancroft and Sal Mineo, among many other Broadway and film actors who never got quite as famous. (It should also be noted that David “Son of Sam” Berkowitz attended Columbus, though he was definitely not representative of the student body.)

    The articles focus on school happenings and civic matters occurring beyond academic walls. And because not everyone could be Anne Bancroft, there were ads on the back page for jobs that might interest graduating seniors. An excerpt from an advertisement seeking telephone operators:

    “Bettie B. will be happy in an essential job that’s ‘right’ for her. Naturally, girls who have been in the thick of things in high school affairs want a good ‘first job’. They want to go where their work is necessary and appreciated, where they will have every chance to use their ingenuity and intelligence. Telephone operators earn the full salary of $32 for a five-day week during training, $35 in eighteen months with further increases thereafter. There are many other jobs open, too. These jobs, as well as operating jobs, all have frequent pay increases and paid vacations. Work with friendly people, Ask your guidance counselor about us. Then make it a date. Ask your local operator for Enterprise 10,000–a free call!”

    More Miscellaneous Media:

  • Mad magazine. (1966)
  • Vancouver Blazers hockey guide. (1974-75)
  • John Hummer NBA card. (1973)
  • Carolina Cougars ABA Yearbook. (1970)
  • The Washington Senators MLB Yearbook. (1968)
  • Ugandan currency with Idi Amin’s picture. (1973)
  • Tom Van Arsdale basketball card. (1970)
  • “Okie from Muskogee” sheet music. (1969)
  • California Golden Seals hockey magazine. (1972)
  • Beatles Film Festival Magazine (1978)
  • ABA Pictorial (1968-69)
  • Tom Seaver’s Baseball Is My Life. (1973)
  • Hockey Digest (1973)
  • World’s Fair Guide (1964)
  • World’s Fair Guide (1939)
  • Buffalo Braves Yearbook (1972-73)
  • New York Nets Yearbook (1976-77)
  • “Tom Dooley” sheet music.

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    “Highlights” From Another Week Of Afflictor Crap

    August 6, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

    Afflictor: Making wizened women in chadors appear disconsolate since 2009. (Image by Hamed Saber.)

    “Your work has evoked a great deal of interest here at Campbell Soup Company for obvious reasons”

    August 6, 2010 in Excerpts, Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

    Mmm mmm good.

    William P. MacFarland was a product marketing manager at the Campbell Soup Company during the 1960s, when Andy Warhol’s silkscreened portraits of the iconic soup cans caused a sensation throughout the art world and entered into the popular consciousness. You might almost expect a big corporation to be tone deaf about the situation and get lawyered up. But instead MacFarland sent Warhol an admiring letter and some free cases of tomato soup. Below is the transcript of the correspondence, but you can see the actual missive at Letters of Note. (Thanks to boing boing for pointing me toward this post.)

    •••••

    Campbell SOUP Company

    CAMDEN 1, NEW JERSEY

    May 19, 1964

    Mr. A. Warhol
    1342 Lexington Avenue
    New York, New York

    Dear Mr. Warhol:

    I have followed your career for some time. Your work has evoked a great deal of interest here at Campbell Soup Company for obvious reasons.

    At one time I had hoped to be able to acquire one of your Campbell Soup label paintings – but I’m afraid you have gotten much too expensive for me.

    I did want to tell you, however, that we admired your work and I have since learned that you like Tomato Soup. I am taking the liberty of having a couple of cases of our Tomato Soup delivered to you at this address.

    We wish you continued success and good fortune.

    Cordially,

    (Signed, ‘William P. MacFarland’)

    William P. MacFarland
    Product Marketing Manager

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    Recently Posted On NYC’s Craigslist

    August 6, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

    Jean Claude Van Damme: But I don't have $25,000. (Image by Georges Biard.)

    Role in an action film…… – $25000 (Washington, DC)

    We are currently looking for final funds for a high quality/low budget action film. Check our website to see the quality of our work. We have worked with numerous Emmy winners on projects that have received distribition/pick-up.

    We are looking for the final $25k for an action film. It includes houses blowing up, a car chase through Georgetown into Virginia and back into DC that is spectacular, tons of gunshots, intrigue, and excitement all with a DC backdrop. Email me to see examples. Seriously, it will have as much action as many high budget action films. Can’t tell you how (proprietary info), but I can show you if you are serious about funding.

    If you are only looking for a role and don’t have the cash, we are always looking for interesting locations/skill sets. If you have access to a mansion or deserted warehouse or science lab or house that is still suffering from fire damage, or anything you think might make an interesting filming location, offer it up. Oops, forgot to mention we are shooting in Washington, DC. Guess that is important to mention, huh.

    In addition to a return on your monies, we offer the following:

    • Depending on how much you barter, we will provide a role for you or a friend, relative, girlfriend or boyfriend, animal, mistress, etc. It may be a speaking role and will be contractually guaranteed to make the final cut.
    • VIP status at DC premiere. Advertise your business on the red carpet backdrop. Hobnob with DC celebs and athletes.
    • Behind the scenes access – come to the castings, rehearsals, shooting, post party, etc. and hang out with the cast and crew
    • Executive Producer credit
    • A director’s chair with your name on it.

    Come on. The economy sucks. If you were to put it in the market, you’d lose it anyways. With this, you have a great chance to make money and you will definitely have fun.

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    Great Photography: The Pictures Of Doris Ulmann

    August 5, 2010 in Misc., Photography | Permalink

    Doris Ulmann, like many great photographers, started out doing other things and rather haphazardly found her calling. Born in New York in 1882 and educated at Columbia University, Ulmann intended to teach psychology. Instead she ended up making portraits of intellectuals and writers and capturing the essence of rural culture in Appalachia, without condescension or romanticization. Below are a few of her images, but you can see more here.

    Shielded from the sun.

    Southern mountain man.

    Nice going, Einstein.

    Laborer's hands.

    Fellow photographer Clarence Hudson White.

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    Recently Posted On NYC’s Craigslist

    August 4, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

    Acrylic, oilstick and spray paint, by Jean-Michel Basquiat.

    YOU WON’T SEE THIS EVER AGAIN – $1200 (fLORIDA)

    Absolutely authentic Paint Brushes and Palette knife from the Late Jean Michel Basquiat
    Please Google his name,

    We were friends on maui, given to me before I took him to the airport, to go to Honolulu
    he never returned, died of overdose of Heroin, He left all of his painting supplies with me
    I can verify this story.

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    The Best Journalism Of The Last Decade?

    August 3, 2010 in Excerpts, Misc., Politics | Permalink

    One of Barbara Ehrenreich's books made the list. (Image by David Shankbone.)

    The faculty at NYU’s Arthur L. Carter Journalism Institute have published their list of the ten best pieces of journalism of the decade. Below is a bare-bones list; click here to find out more about each of them.

    • “A Nation Challenged” (The New York Times, 2001.)
    • Random Family: Love, Drugs, Trouble, and Coming of Age in the Bronx (Adrian Nicole LeBlanc, 2003.)
    • The Looming Tower: Al-Qaeda and the Road to 9/11 (Lawrence Wright, 2006.)
    • “The Giant Pool of Money” (This American Life & NPR, 2008.)
    • Ongoing reports from Iraq and Afghanistan (The New York Times, 2003-2009.)
    • The Dark Side: The Inside Story of How the War on Terror Turned into a War on American Ideals (Jane Mayer, 2008.)
    • Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America (Barbara Ehrenreich, 2001.)
    • Coverage of Hurricane Katrina (The Times-Picayune, 2005.)
    • “Soldiers Face Neglect, Frustration at Army’s Top Medical Facility” (The Washington Post, 2007.)
    • “Abuse in the Catholic Church” (The Boston Globe, 2002.)

    Recently Posted On NYC’s Craigslist

    August 1, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

    Marky Ramone: Looking more like Christiane Amanpour every day. (Image by David Shankbone.)

    Marky Ramone Autographed Pokemon Card – $50 (Bushwick)

    I met Marky Ramone in 2000 and had him autograph my Charmander Pokemon card. It’s in really good condition.

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    Afflictor Nation: We Crown A New Champion!

    August 1, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

    Canadian Prime Minister Wayne Gretzky. (Image by Kmf164.)

    Russia had dominated Afflictor Nation for seven months running, being the foreign country with the most traffic on our idiotic web site from December through June. But the former superpower took a nosedive this month, finishing tied for fourteenth in the heated competition. Although the unlikely trio of Singapore, Malaysia and Turkey made a surprisingly strong showing, it was our neighbor to the north, Canada, that ultimately supplanted Russia as Afflictor Nation champion. Best known for being cold as fuck and not harshing the vibe, Canada is like the neighbors down the hall that you seem to never run into, but at least they don’t play the music too loud. At any rate: Thank you to all the many nations that checked in with this site in July, and congratulations to you for your astounding victory, Canada!

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    “Highlights” From Another Week Of Afflictor Slop

    July 30, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

    Afflictor: Boring juggalos silly since 2009. (Image by Mruntouchable.)

    Recently Posted On NYC’s Craigslist

    July 30, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

    No visible stains. (Image by Tony Barton.)

    LIPS couch. That’s a couch shaped like a huge pair of lips – $300 (Midtown)

    Yes, it’s a couch shaped like lips. We’re selling it because we’ve downsized and we don’t really have room for it anymore. It looks cool and funky but the covering is showing it’s age a little bit – there’s a few holes in the fabric but nothing too noticeable.

    Apparently this was first made for a Madonna video. We’ve examined it closely and can’t detect any traces of Madonna odors, stains or other ikky stuff, so I imagine it was thoroughly cleaned after she rubbed her girl bits on it. We’ve had it for years and had numerous clients sit on it over that time. Nobody has reported contracting anything gross or disgusting from it, so I think you’re pretty safe.

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    What Are The Best Magazine Articles Ever?

    July 30, 2010 in Excerpts, Misc. | Permalink

    The late David Foster Wallace has seven articles on Kelly's Top 100 list. (Image by Steve Rhodes.)

    All-around brilliant guy Kevin Kelly is trying to decide which (English-language) magazine articles are the greatest ever. He’s come up with a list of 100 suggestions for the best and is asking readers to suggest their own and vote for their faves. Titles below are the leaders thus far. View the whole list.

    • David Foster Wallace, “Federer As Religious Experience.” The New York Times, Play Magazine, August 20, 2006.

    • David Foster Wallace, “Consider the Lobster.” Gourmet, Aug 2004.

    • Neal Stephenson, “Mother Earth, Mother Board: Wiring the Planet.” Wired, December 1996. On laying trans-oceanic fiber optic cable.

    • Gay Talese, “Frank Sinatra Has a Cold.” Esquire, April 1966.

    •Ron Rosenbaum, “Secrets of the Little Blue Box.” Esquire, October 1971. The first and best account of telephone hackers, more amazing than you might believe.

    • Jon Krakauer, “Death of an Innocent: How Christopher McCandless Lost His Way in the Wilds.” Outside, January 1993. Article that became Into the Wild.

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    Recently Posted On NYC’s Craigslist

    July 28, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

    Not completely evil. More like mid-evil.

    Mid evil sword 3 foot – $50 (NYC)

    Comes with holster , 3 foot steel sword. No dents or scratches. very sharp.

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    Afflictor Nation: Russia Is Getting Its Ass Kicked!

    July 27, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

    Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov: First Lebron reject me, now this. (Image by Андрей Романенко.)

    With just a few days remaining in July, Russia, which has been Afflictor’s number one foreign visitor for seventh months running, is languishing in tenth place. Only a furious end-of-the-month rally will keep the former superpower from being trounced as badly as it was during the Cold War. Land of smog and murdered journalists, Russia has long been run by narcissistic thug Vladimir Putin and his hand-picked young ward Dmitry Medvedev. Perhaps that dynamic duo can take a break from kissing evil dictator Kim Jong-il’s ass long enough to marshal their people and win the July traffic race. It won’t make up for losing the space race, but it’s something.

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    Miscellaneous Media: Mad Magazine (1966)

    July 27, 2010 in Misc. | 1 comment

    To the side of the title: "OUR PRICE 30c CHEAP"

    As a child, I pretty much learned how to read with the aid of flash cards and backdated copies of Mad magazine. I never liked superhero comics (which have probably aged a lot better than Mad‘s generation gap humor), but I always enjoyed Don Martin, Mort Drucker and the usual gang of idiots. I recently got my bent, bony fingers on a copy of the March 1966 issue, which was something of a letdown.

    On the cover of this 48-page issue, the magazine’s gap-toothed mascot Alfred E. Neuman (who was based on this old postcard) sits at a classroom desk reading a copy of Mad, which hides a book of Shakespearean plays inside. Most of the issue, apart from the aforementioned Don Martin cartoons, is pretty lame. There are pieces spoofing the suburbs, shopping and what TV would look like when youth culture completely took over. And there are plenty of dated references to teenagers with long hair and transistor radios.

    Maybe Mad was too topical to still seem funny outside if its historical context or perhaps this was just a lousy issue, but the magazine was genuinely revolutionary in what was a satirical wasteland in a very uptight America when it started publishing in 1952. Here’s an excerpt from the spoof called “Why the Suburbs?”:

    “‘Why do people move to the suburbs?’ you ask.
    ‘We do it for our children!’ the parents answer.
    That’s why they buy a big $50,000 house–
         Because what child could possibly be happy in less!
    That’s why we join an exclusive Country Club–
    Which doesn’t allow dogs or children!
    That’s why they hire gardeners to fix the lawn
    So it looks pretty–
    Too pretty for children to play on!
    That’s why they build finished basements–
    So the children can’t play there either
    Because they might scratch the fancy bar
    Or scuff the grownups’ pool table!
    Isn’t it wonderful to be a child in the suburbs?
    Think about all the poor children in the slums,
    They live in such terrible homes
    That they can sit in the living room
    Any time they want!”

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