Misc.

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ANYONE HAVE SWEATY HANDS?

Anyone have sweaty hands all the time? I do. If you do too I’d like to hear of your experience and we may have a nice convo. Thanks.

Why can’t I get it ??

People:

What do I have to do to find a working Coolatta machine in this city????

There are three Dunkin’ Donuts relatively close to where I live.

How are all of the machines broken????

We are a metro area of over umteen million people.

WTF????

Been downhearted – so don’t annoy me.

I will do anything for a million dollars (West Village)

B. Spears makes millions with little talent. People who sing about killing each other are millionaires. I would like to take care of my family. I’ll do just about anything for a million dollars. If you want me to cut off a finger while you tape it, I’ll do it.

 

  • This Will Make You Never, Ever Want To Get In A Hot Tub Again
  • This Is Why Baby Boomers Aren’t Getting Laid
  • Everything You Need To Know About Pooping At The Office
  • 9 Places We Never Remember To Put Sunscreen
  • The 5 Execution Methods Allowed Today
  • The 25 Best Types Of Porn
  • Mom Sets Record Devouring 9 Pounds Of Steak
  • Here Are Some Otters Playing Piano
  • Busy Philipps Responds To Gwyneth Paltrow
  • KFC Worker Fired After Claiming To Put Pubic Hair In Order

 

10 search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:

  1. jimmy the greek did publicity for howard hughes
  2. where did aaron burr die?
  3. randolph hearst interviewed about kidnapped daughter
  4. reasons why steve jobs wasn’t as great as edison
  5. what are some old-time confidence games?
  6. bonnie and clyde partner w.d. jones
  7. philip k. dick was not crazy
  8. psychotherapist and commune leader saul newton
  9. jeremy bernstein profile of marvin minsky
  10. willie mosconi legendary pool player
This week, Donald Sterling was handed his punishment for being a racist creep.

This week, Donald Sterling was finally given his punishment for being a racist creep.

  • Uber’s CEO is probably a little too excited about being rid of drivers.
  • Economic forecasts are often hugely wrong. Why?
  • Information wants to be free–and expensive.
  • The open office wasn’t an egalitarian impulse but an economic necessity.

Bikini briefs for men

These are the best for the summer. I powder my nuts and pour powder into my briefs and then I’m good for the whole day. Everything stays dry and smells fresh. Bikini briefs hug tight to you so the powder stays in.

Extremely mean assertive straightforward person – $50 (Midtown)

How would you like to get paid to teach a course on being honest, straightforward and assertive?

The students are “pushovers” who are struggling through life because they are unable to be assertive and need your help.

"This would reverse the aging process and restore youth."

“This would reverse the aging process and restore youth.”

Needs $ to complete age reversal med

What we have invented is a system to manufacture engineered viruses that will recognize stem cells. there are two immediate uses for this. The virus can install DNA telomeres into stem cells that have had their stem cells shortened due to aging. This would reverse the aging process and restore youth. The second use for the virus would be to attack stem cells that are cancerous. This would be a treatment for any cancer originating from cancerous stem cells, such as breast cancer. The attack would include any metastasized cells.

What we need now is funding to build the system. We ask you to send a tax deductible contribution.

  • No, Urine Is Not Sterile
  • If You Have A Penis, You Should Watch This
  • Taco ‘Bout A Coincidence!
  • WATCH: UFO Crash In China?
  • ‘A Perfect Butt Doesn’t Make An Amazing Person’
  • Woman Allegedly Forces 3-Year-Old To Eat Own Poop
  • Barbra Streisand Finds Gay Sex ‘Distasteful’?
  • This Baby Snow Goat Got A Tiny Wheelchair, Stole Our Hearts
  • WATCH: In Defense Of Pubic Hair…
  • Did Gay Marriage Cause Godzilla?

 


10 search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:

  1. legal basis for donald trump suing bill maher
  2. removing living snakes from stomach
  3. milton berle richard pryor confrontation
  4. automatic hat james boyle
  5. race of giants that inhabited the earth
  6. peter singer practical ethics thought experiment immigration
  7. chico marx final tv appearance
  8. should mlb get rid of errors?
  9. masdar city driverless electric pod cars
  10. gourmand who ate zoo animals
This week, the Internet turned on hero cat when she failed to prevent another tragedy.

This week, the Internet turned on Hero Cat when she failed to prevent a second gruesome tragedy.

“I now pronounce you man and wife.”

“You suck, cat.”

“Mission unaccomplished, kitty”

"Unpatriotic racist."

“Unpatriotic, racist cat.”

  • David Carr delves into the Jill Abramson firing fiasco.
  • Extreme Memory Tournament competitors help explain total recall.
  • EVs have a real opportunity to gain on gas-fueled cars.
  • 4D printing is being worked out even before 3D printing is popularized.
  • Tom Robbins talks Hunter S. Thompson and Philip Roth.
  • We’re very attracted to dystopic art. Why?
  • Amazon is transforming downtown Seattle into a company town.
  • Happiness shouldn’t necessarily be your main goal.
""Whilst I don't have the money to pay...""

“Whilst I don’t have the money to pay…”

Muse Sought

Screenwriter from London, newly transplanted to New York. I’ve recently been pondering embarking on a novel. About what I do not know just as yet, but I do know that it demands that I engage with completely different energies and thinking from which I succor at for my screenplay writing at this time. This urge has been sparked by some recent short story writing I have been indulging in and it’s made me crave something to inspire me to write something in long form.

I am looking for a woman who can challenge me creatively, mentally, sexually and emotionally. In essence I guess, I am seeking a muse. I am seeking someone from outside the realm of individuals I would typically gravitate to. I need someone who is going to both inspire and scare me to strive for some truths in my writing.

Whilst I don’t have the money to pay, I am specifically looking for someone who seeks the same sort of inspiration as well and perhaps the compensation can be me doing the same for you in relation to what you are working on.

Anyone need help with money launder (anywhere)

Hey i can do any amount for 10% interest let’s get to work asap contact me.

 

Either/Or

Would you rather live for another year, and then die peacefully 

OR
 

Live for another hundred years, then die horribly? I mean like nightmarishly horrible; forced-to-watch-as-mutant-dogs-devour-you-a-piece-at-a-time type horrible.

  • 23 Animals Who Are Absolute Sh*t At Hide-And-Seek
  • John Stamos Responds To ‘Full House’ Criticism
  • Son Of Lobster Boy Discusses Dad’s Grisly Murder
  • 600-Pound Woman Hasn’t Left Her Bed In 5 Years
  • Here’s What Really Happens On The Wedding Night
  • Dolly Parton Addresses Tattoo Rumors
  • Apparently, Miley Cyrus’ Knee Looks Like Seth Rogen’s Face
  • LOOK: Frog Rides Fish, Changes How We View Hitchhiking
  • Why Brad Paisley Wants To Knee Blake Shelton ‘In The Nuts’
  • Why Parents Need To Celebrate Their ‘Ordinary’ Children

 

10 search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:

  1. joseph weizenbaum’s friendly computer program eliza
  2. hangings ordered by nazi wernher von braun
  3. recent richard dawkins ask me anything
  4. did people hide money in wooden legs?
  5. michel gondry documentary about noam chomsky
  6. where can i buy a vibrator?
  7. david foster wallace’s favorite novels
  8. are fewer children playing football?
  9. why do some humans look like neanderthals?
  10. clifford irving hoax howard hughes

 

This week, President George W. Bush’s Scottish Terrier, Miss Beazley, was found dead. The cause is yet to be determined.

  • Nintendo knew early that fans wanted a community, not just pop culture.
  • Riotous mobs are often actually quite rational and goal-oriented.
  • Trust-busting and price-gouging are both true of Uber.

“I’ve written an animated short about a half-cat, half-clown who has autism. People think he’s crazy or slow or something. It has a romantic twist and a wacky superhero. There’s a song called ‘Dizzy in Happyland.’ Some people will love it and some will hate it.”


 

Ways to get rich quick!!

I have been using this accountant tax trick for a long time and my company needs more people so we can make money and you can get money too. For more info about this text or call me.

“I’m healthy and lazy.”

anyone in need of liver or heart (anywhere)

Hello my name is mike. I’m healthy and lazy. I’m selling my body parts. no one has to know. it can be kept confidential but I need the cash to give to my desperate family. not a joke. we are all in a poor situation. I think its about time to give up not cause I want to cause I have to.

Donations for body moisturizer needed (Chelsea)

My friend has a skin condition where she has to use moisturizer every day, otherwise her skin cracks and dries out and she gets lines all over her body. If left too long it literally starts to look like snake skin.

She has to use so much that it’s becoming expensive to maintain, and she doesn’t have very much money.

If you have any moisturizing products in your bathroom that you never use or want to get rid of, or unwanted gifts that you receive, please contact me so I can help her out.

Any brand will do, as long as it is moisturizer to keep the skin hydrated. Thank you.

“Fetishes of all varieties.”

fire fire

We’re in search of people who possess the technical and/or sexual abilities. We are a business, not a dance floor.

We invite all people to share their talents on and off camera.

Intern and be part of the sexual experience.

Join this community and work with our company to bring our Productions to life for our audience.

We’re the star makers, we seek genuine erotica.

Our parties are your workshops to meet porn stars and gain experience. Top pay, professionals welcome.

Upscale events midtown Manhattan. In some events we host celebrities and porn stars, so polish your act and make us look good.

Venues needed big or small, reasonable and affordable. We welcome the five boroughs.

Win cash prizes for:

  • Man with the biggest dick and more.
  • Ladies or men who fuck the most.
  • The woman who can deep throat the longest dick.

We host secret, exclusive, wildly explicit erotic gatherings gone public. We produce quality explicit videos. Are looking for swingers, gangbangs, groups and threesomes. At some events porn celebrities are on site and others celebrities. We’re at the top of our game! Even the competition fucks with us! 

We host the hottest sex parties in town. All sexual orientations welcomed.

Our mission is to fulfill your erotic desires, dreams, fetishes of all varieties of sensual pleasure–orgies, gang banging. These are for the kindred spirit.

  • One Billion People Still Practice Open Defecation
  • 20 YEARS LATER: Where The Cast Of ‘Saved By The Bell’ Is Now
  • Girls’ Dumb Fight Ends With Shovel To The Head
  • Baby. Birds. In. HATS!
  • Watch Shailene Woodley Cry While Getting Her Hair Cut Off
  • The Scientifically Proven Way To Win Rock-Paper-Scissors
  • U.S. Air Force: We’re Not Afraid Of Godzilla
  • WATCH: Tiny Hamster Eats Tiny Pizza
  • What Exactly Is Appropriate Orgasm Etiquette?
  • Couple Misuses ‘Pop Rocks’ During Sex, Ends Up In ER

 

See also:

 

 

10 search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:

  1. what did a meal cost in NYC in 1935?
  2. la soufriere volcano
  3. story about an old timey lasso hunter
  4. stepin fetchit with muhammad ali
  5. howard carter in tutankhamen’s tomb
  6. did diego rivera eat human flesh?
  7. history of gold’s gym in venice beach
  8. are more people living alone?
  9. christopher glazek we should raise the crime rate
  10. pooper scooper law nyc

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