Elisabeth Hasselbeck responded the only way a sane person with perspective could to the news that Rosie O’Donnell had returned to the The View. She interrupted her luxury holiday to ask the obvious question: “What could ruin a vacation more than to hear news like this?”

Nothing. No news could be more upsetting.

Some other things that could have ruined Elisabeth’s vacation if they were as bad as the news about Rosie:

Father traded his left kidney for a portion of grain.

I will only be stoned should I become pregnant through witchcraft. Or if I vote.

Have you even heard of Ukraine? I mean, duh.

We tried our best to save Elaine Stritch.

The icebergs are melting. The rising sea wall will cause great floods, resulting in mass drownings and famine. Most will perish.