Ideas and technology and politics and journalism and history and humor and some other stuff.
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“Young apprentice.”
I cant help myself but dive into the politics to institute policy changes. MC’s are designed to move crowds. It’s in my blood. I will speak from the heart therefore the message and policies will be 4 the people. Young apprentice, age #23. All is appreciated.
$1,000 to $10,000 denominations.
Piers Morgan: Thinks athletes who use PEDs should be banned from sports, but journalists who hack phones should be able to continue their careers. (Image by Pete Riches.)
The Top 5 nations sending traffic to Afflictor this month:
“If you buy the skunk, I will throw in the mouse as well.”
I just moved and am selling off most of my taxidermy stuff.
A big and newly mounted striped skunk with no odor or bugs. He is in excellent condition with long soft hair, no tangles or slippage. I REALLY hate to let him go, and am too lazy to put him on ebay to ship . So I am asking a really good price compared to any others of his quality. He is freestanding and his tail has a wire in it to position it any way you want. SOLD
A weird and cool novelty squirrel mount standing on hind legs holding a bucket. He held various things in the bucket for me in the last few years on my desk and bar such as pens, drink stirrers, cocktail umbrellas, bottle caps and such. Always a conversation starter! $60
A big lot of complete tanned snake skins including pythons and constrictors including the head. I again have had these in a bag for several years using them as reference in my work. They are soft and pliable. Can be used for crafts like making many awesome wallets, belts… or whatever. the one snake is huge at over six feet long! $25 for all of them
An opossum skull, really cool and primitive. Clean. $15
And last a small free standing freeze dried mouse. He has been a lot of fun for me throughout the years as I have scared the crap out of many people by tucking him into little nooks and crannies when no one was looking. One mouse you wouldnt mind having in your house. $10
Cash and carry, located right off the L train. No room for them anymore. If interested in more than one or all of them I will take offers. If you buy the skunk, I will throw in the mouse as well.
“How maybe having me over for a meal?”
Hi Everyone!I need your help with this new project I’m starting. Being far away from family, there’s nothing I miss more than my mother’s cooking. However I’ve since realized that it wasn’t any dish in particular that I missed; what I really longed for was a home cooked meal.
Therefore I was hoping that the craigslist community could help me. Rather than having me cook for myself (of which I mostly suck at), or you cooking for one person (which always sucks), how maybe having me over for a meal?So if you’re willing to trade in an empty seat across your dinner table for the sake of trying something new, then by all means I’d love to stop by for a plate, a photograph and a conversation. I’ve got $10 and I’ll eat anything.
10 search-engine kepyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:
Afflictor: Thinking Lance Armstrong isn’t likely attracting the same level of groupies anymore.
“Wizard piss.”
“I know he used my hat to jerk off into and returned it to me.”
Hi there,Hoping to get a guy’s perspective on this, as I have definitely never been in this situation. First off, maybe I should mention that I am very sexually liberal and not easily offended. If you are, I probably am not actually seeking your specific advice, thanks.I go regularly out of my way to a specific bar to hear awesome music. They have an amazing residency every Friday and I never miss that. I’ve been going for years. They also occasionally have music during the week and I’ll catch a show here and there. It’s not the only place I go; I try and see live music a few times a week.Anyway one night I went in with a friend on a random night when there was no music. The bar was pretty deserted and we ended up having a really fun time, mainly just us and the hot bartender. I knew him by sight, as I’d been going there regularly even before he started working there a few years ago, but never really talked to him. He was actually really hot and cold with me – sometimes super friendly, others seemed to not acknowledge me. I didn’t really care. We had a blast that night, though, the three of us and I fell for him a little bit. That Friday, he was at the show even though he wasn’t working, and stood thisclose all night, hugging me, asking if I had had a good time the other night, etc. After that whenever I’d see him, we’d joke and give each other shit in a good-natured, flirty way. He’s definitely never ignored me again. One night a few weeks later, in a crowd of people, he asked me if I was into bondage, leaving little question as to who would be the one tied up (I took the fifth). Okay, and since then, I’ve just been smitten. Now it’s been a few months though and nothing much has really happened. He’s working when I see him and I’m pretty shy and get sort of tongue-tied around him, so I don’t think I’m going to be the one to move things forward. Besides, I’m supposed to be the submissive one! And while he says sexual things to me a lot, he never makes a move, asks for my number etc. (I friended him on Facebook a few weeks after that first time I went in as he says “on a nonmusic night”).
Anyway, I stopped in the other night, after getting out of work later than I usually do. I had expected there to be music, and it was the first thing I asked him when he came over, which I think annoyed him. I ended up staying because I had been worked til 10pm without eating so I decided to get food and then just ended up there til 2. I left my hat there that night. The next day, I get a fb message from him saying he had found it and would hold onto it for me until I was in again, and signed it love always. Went in this past Friday, and he gets it for me right away. I take it, and thank him and he asks – what were you afraid of, that I’d jerk off and use your hat as a cum rag? I looked at him, with my mouth hanging open and finally managed to reply, you probably did. To which he said, yeah, I probably did, and walked away. Before I leave, he tells me that there’s music again tomorrow night (this past Saturday) – that he knows I don’t like to come in when there’s no music, but that there’s music tomorrow. So I went in the next night, met a few friends, and hung out til 2. He made a point of mentioning having used my hat as a cum rag again, this time, referring to it as “I told you I (did so)” – which for me nullifies the joke possibility and now I know he used my hat to jerk off into and returned it to me. Now, the thing is, is that I think it’s really really hot. I slept that night with my hat over my face. I’m so turned on by him in general this is near paralyzingly for me. I sent him a 3am message saying I hoped he was kidding – but just because I felt impelled to mention it in some way. Now, I don’t know what to do. While I do find it hot, I still don’t know why he would do that – is he definitely into me? Or he trying to freak me out? Is this just something guys do? I know my reaction of finding it sexy probably isn’t the normal woman’s reaction, so does he want me to instead be turned off? Should I let him know I found it sexy, or play it coy? Should I tell him I was wearing the hat to diddle myself long before he ever got his hands on it? Any advice as to what I should say or do next? I am so out of my element – all I want to have to do is find a magic sexy quote to put up as my status on fb that will make him finally ask me out haha. Obviously that’s passive and silly. I do know that I don’t want to feel like the aggressor though, just going into his work all the time. Or at least anymore than I have been. What else can I do? I’m moving to this neighborhood in March and am worried if I handle this wrong, it will end up ruining my favorite place to see music. And just because his way of flirting is so rooted in sex, does that mean he’s only interested in sex? Or was this his way of marking me so to speak? I don’t ever really see him flirting with other women outside of the friendliness you have to have as a bartender, and the way he looks at me makes me feel like the only woman in the room, sighhhhhhhh. I could see myself having freaky sex with him until we are old and gray.
Thanks for reading this long, convoluted, possibly boring tale. Please help me spice it up. Any advice is greatly appreciated!!
One of my nearest relatives was in the hospital and deathly ill this week. As bleak as things looked on Monday, some good turns have taken place and it looks like she will be okay.
I know you’ve heard this before, but I will be back to this blog soon.
But right now I smell like a hospital and need to dream.
From what I could gather, 4 out of 5 Americans end up in an Emergency Room because they fell off of a Harley and hit their head on a meth lab.
…in the Emergency Room with a sick relative? I did. I promise I’ll return to the usual publishing schedule asap. No, I swear!
I am a psychiatrist, and would like to barter psychiatric services for massage. I don’t want any sex/kinky stuff, just good massages, but from a female only. If you’re interested contact me and we can talk further. Thanks!
I’m back. Everyone’s gone, right? Oh, fudge.
Well, anyhow, I’m going to return to posting cartoonishly filthy humor, harsh judgments of others and amusing but pointless pieces of history.
Hope you’re all well.
–Darren
Just as we reach the end of the year, my laptop has conked out. That gives me a good excuse to take a week or so off, something I haven’t done once since I started this blog more than three years ago. So I will see you good folks on the other side of 2013. Have a safe and happy holiday.
Until then, Trump.
Is your life not going in the direction you wish, to the point that at times you just wish you were someone else and elsewhere? We’ve all been there, so just drop a line and I will listen and help if I can. Talk to you soon!
So begins the nightmarish tale of a young boy in a post-apocalyptic America. A haunting Gothic story in the tradition of Lord of the Flies and Riddley Walker.
I have a multi-billion dollar idea that will not wait for anybody.
If you want to help with this, it will cost money – preferably $ 5,000.00 , but $ 20,000.00 will be searched for.The idea is to take cars off the roads, and replace them with a flying car, already thought up by me, and will begin construction of them when the money is set.
This idea will not leave me, as long as I have breath in my body.
If interested, please get back to me, and you will get paid back. $ 20,000 will be paid back $ 38,000.00.
10 search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:
Afflictor: Thinking this was the week the GOP took the next logical step in its progression.
“You ain’t no spring chicky.”
Judging by the latest pictures I seen of you on Google with the blue shirt and red lipstick you ain’t no spring chicky.
Your $20 broken down ass is just about finished.
“Along to help out is Rupert, a middle-aged Korean man.”
An English woman stricken with great misfortune will soon be offered the help of an unlikely prostitute… a.k.a The Chaldean Whore. Along to help out is Rupert, a middle-aged Korean man. Brace Yourselves… On An Epic Journey Through Miracle Road!
These three souls, each tormented in the past will come together as they try and come to terms with what’s happened to them. Their life regrets and hardships will be recounted. It’s a struggle for happiness… a basic human necessity that’s been RAVAGED, TAKEN and BURIED somewhere deep inside them.
Life goes on. But with looming memories, happiness… HAS A LIMIT!
*Author’s Sneak Peak: One is human. The other two? Suspiciously different.
“Now, at 19, I have a huge data set.”
Ever since 15 years old, when I lost my virginity, I kept track of every time I’ve had sex (reasons why are another story). I mark down: The date itself including day of the week, the person’s first name, age at the time, my age at the time, the number of times (or days) this is for me, the number of times I’ve done it with this person, whether we used protection/not, and what state it took place in.Obviously, I wouldn’t disclose to you the names but if you wanted a certain characteristic, like their race/where I met them/where THEY’RE from, we could work something out, and I’d replace their name with a letter of the alphabet and corresponding characteristics.
Now, at 19, I have a huge data set, and an interesting one at that. I was thinking someone somewhere could use this in one way or another, and I need some extra cash anyway. I’ll answer any questions you have about the set (after seeing it) as long as I don’t feel they’re too personal. I won’t reveal to you my name either, but I’ll tell you the crucial facts (especially if you’re using it for a personal study of some sort).
We can talk more, if you have any questions. For the record (no pun intended) I don’t include oral sex, anal sex, and any type of sex with females.
10 search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:
Afflictor: Believing that Paul McCartney got to front Nirvana after their original choice turned them down.
Oh well, whatever, nevermind.