“Undertones of strawberries.”

Body Fluids (Pee) are Healthy – $25 (Midtown)

In ancient Mediterranean cultures its quite healthy and advised to use human urine as a natural ailment for a variety of illnesses and conditions.In the Western culture many of us turn in vain to antibiotics and other such remedies that truly do not promote health at it’s most natural source. Here, at Organic Pee and Me we are on a mission to restore what many do not know is a natural and preferred means of health and rejuvenation. For you pleasure we offer a variety of tastes,. We recommend you select the taste and nutrient profile that is most beneficial to you based on what may be lacking in your diet. You may select from:

1. The natural, no preservative added urine of a young, blonde. American, healthy trainer who snacks on fruits, vegetables, brown rice and protein shakes and bars all day.
2. Or you can select the urine of a beautiful Asian whose natural body chemistry has been described as bitter yet sweet and aromatic.
3. For those among us who enjoy male urine (which is more full-bodied than female urine) we offer a very special blend of European, Mediterranean with undertones of strawberries.

Our quality – high. Our supply – fresh. Our prices – competitive.
Bottled right from the source. Naturally Organic.
If you want organic pee- come to me!
Prices negotiable.

“Bottled right from the source.”

“I am selling my bedbugs and bedbug eggs for people to use against people.”

BEDBUGS FOR MALICE – $30 (Bedstuy Bushwick)

Hi! New York can be a pretty difficult place to live! As they say, if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere!

I’ve lived here almost a full calendar year, and have found that it’s super difficult to keep positive. There are so many things trying to keep you down – the subway track work, craigslist roommate scams, reappearing enemies from college, ex girlfriends finding out your account info…That said, I recently moved into a room that happens to be infested with bedbugs. Luckily for me, I’m not allergic, and barely notice them. My girlfriend, however, is blaming me for HER infestation, even though it’s totally NOT. MY. FAULT. I really didn’t know we had them, and by the time we found it, it was too late. She broke up with me. Unfortunately she was also my boss, so I need to find a new job.

So, I’m trying to make my challenges and hardships work FOR me instead of AGAINST me. I need some extra ca$h, and if I can help-a-bruthah out while I’m doin it, the more the merrier!

I’m aware that it’s impossible to live in this city without fucking someone over. So, I am selling my bedbugs and bedbug eggs for people to use against people. You can let it roam in their bag, their home, etc etc. I am simply selling bedbugs, how you use them is your business.

I will package them up so that they both a) live and b) stay in their container.

The Spin Cycle ebook/screenplay-dark comedy – $99 (Midtown)

I have published my feature screenplay, The Spin Cycle, as an ebook.

Logline: A young woman runs a laundromat and develops a fetish for guys in wheelchairs, much to her promiscuous mother’s chagrin.

“I will ship anywhere.”

Pregnant lady’s used panties! – $30 (Philadelphia/Anywhere) 

Have a panty fetish? Find pregnant women extremely sexy? Then you will love having a pair of my sexy panties! I’m 5 and 1/2 months along and I’d love to do whatever you want while wearing them before I send them to you!

I will SHIP anywhere, cost included in the price. NO MEETING. Pictures available too, for purchase, as dirty and explicit as you want ’em! you won’t be disappointed!

Interested in breast-milk, lactating pictures, etc? Message me for that too, naughty boys!!

“All my booze was gone!”

Haven’t you any manners? (Brooklyn, NY)

Who does this? I am sharing my house with a middle age woman in her late 40’s and my job takes me away for months at a time. I just stocked up on booze before I left, buying all types of stuff I don’t drink. Ciroc, Hennesy, Jack Daniels (black & green labels). And something else I can’t remember what. Nevertheless I spent well over $100.00 for the booze. I came back home after being away for 5-6 months and all my booze was gone! Once I mentioned it to her she said she was planning on replacing it. When? She is moving and hasn’t mentioned replacing it. Should I take it out her security deposit? Or should I just leave it alone? I was taught never to mess with anyone’s stuff. Who does this???????? I am so pissed right now. My GF said leave it alone, at least I came back and she didn’t clean me completely out furniture and all!

“Grab a few brews afterwards.”

Looking for someone to fight me in Octagon. My place.

Am 5’11″, 180lbs. Fit former high school wrestling team member.

Looking for someone close in weight to duel it out with me today, tomorrow. Be real. Knock out or tap out wins. No homo.

Grab a few brews afterwards.

No homo.

Thanks.

“Hey, I’m no great looker.”

Please don’t be like the woman who rejected and hurt me

SWM 62. Are you sick and tired of playing the dating/courtship game that goes nowhere but to rejection, and then you have to start playing the game all over again from “start”?……..How about marriage instead of the same old dating games? How about marriage to a man who will REALLY!!!!!!!!!! appreciate you? To a man who will accept you as you are? To a sensitive, communicative, caring man who will be here for you?

I’m the best man you’ll read here, if you can realize that and you are an unmarried woman over 50 then don’t look for anyone else, answer this ad and if you are the first woman to claim me then you’ve got me and you will be claiming a man who will be everything good that you ever wanted in a mate.

I’d like to meet an older woman who has just one quality. That quality is that she knows how to say “I Do.” No, I don’t care about looks, figure, age or about any other stupidficial “quality” and if you are really, truly, seriously looking for a good man to marry then I suggest that you answer this ad because I may not be the looker who you are looking for but I’m the good, serious, communicative, intelligent, sincere man who happens to be what you need.

Please don’t be like the following who broke my heart…….Let’s just call her ‘brooklyn heights baby” (not her real neighborhood).

I met her a year ago today from a singles site, we went out a few times (and I thought that) we had fun. She was over 60, a few years older than me. We both were alone.

I treated her like a lady, respectful, equal, soft spoken and sensitive but I always do treat women this way.

I’m no great looker, as for her she was clumsy, gawky, a real sweet humanity in her face, voice, body language and I liked her and found her seeming humanity to look very attractive, I was interested and she claimed as well to be interested. We went out a few times, I took her to good restaurants, movies, paid for everything. 

A month and change later she calls me up out of nowhere and gives me the oldest cliche in the book (as if we were 15 years old or something: she gives me the thrown out/unthought about/totally insensitive “drop dead” cliche of “Oh, I’ve been thinking, you’re a REALLY nice guy and I don’t want to hurt you BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“We have nothing in common.”

(In other words, you aren’t good looking. Yep, I know the code words, we all recognize the code words. AS IF she didn’t enjoy the restaurants, the movies, the conversations.)

I was hurt, hurt bad by this shattering of a dream. I tried to reason with her but no, instead I should have hung up the phone the second that her cliche began because I knew what was coming and maybe it would have hurt a lot less if I hadn’t have talked to her…….she didn’t care how I felt, she just wanted to rid herself of an undesired suitor.

Now today I go back on the website and I see she’s still there and coming there actively (just like she has all year), she found nobody yet. Either she dumps everyone and or her ad has become one of the older familiar ones so its overlooked by now.

Her choice but IMHO she could have had a good year with a good man if her mind hadn’t been stuck in emotional adolecense waiting for some who knows, tall? handsome? macho? who never came her way this year or is it just that I’m too ugly? 

Hey, I’m no looker but I know that I’m satisfied with any woman that likes me and I’m too realistic to play kiddie looks games and capriciously say “Oh, you’re not my type so have a nice life.”

Are you wiser than she was? Then please claim this good heart that she so foolishly discarded and I will share a happier, better life with you than the miserable loneliness which to be honest, all three of us are going through right now.

“Are you wiser than she was?”

“Like rotting flesh.”

Bad Smell Inside My Nose

I am periodically smelling a foul odor that appears to be coming from my nasal like rotting flesh! Of course, I am concerned and I hoped that someone could offer some guidance in rectifying this matter. I also would like to add that I have been a frequent user of Afrin nasal spray for many many years. Any assistance that you may offer would be greatly appreciated.

“I have a lot of material that I have complied over the past few years.”

How To Pick Up Any Woman You Want – $1000

I have a lot of material that I have complied over the past few years which helped me out a great deal with women.I learned so much about women that I am able to easily pick up women anywhere, anytime. I want to pass this information on to men who are willing to learn the information and use it in the right way. Once you learn some of these secrets, you will have women lining up to date you.

On top of that, I have a lot of material about what women want, sexually. It’s very helpful and its amazing what you can do with a woman after she has the slightest bit of attraction for you.

In addition, I am offering to anyone who wants all this stuff, unlimited email access to me so that we can stay in touch and I can help you through your transformation. Learning the information, you will transform into a confident alpha sex god.

I will put all of the information on a jump drive and send it to your mailing address.

Email me with any questions you may have. 

Thank You.