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Alan Whicker’s great 1971 profile of the wet-dream merchant Harold Robbins opens with the trashy author making his way through his childhood neighborhood, Hell’s Kitchen, during New York City’s bad old days. Robbins, who was the best-selling novelist in the world at the time as well as a dedicated orgiast, specialized in literature that was most suitable for the beach or masturbation, though preferably not both at the same time.

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Linda Blair, Ellen Burstyn, Max von Sydow, Jason Miller and writer William Peter Blatty, collaborators on the 1973 horror classic The Exorcist, reconvened in 1984 for Good Morning America. According to legend, Blatty pretended to be an Arabian prince in the 1950s to get booked on the game show You Bet Your Life. He didn’t fool Groucho but did win $10,000, which helped him jump-start his writing career.

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Just amazing footage of the late inventor David H. Shepard demonstrating his Optical Character Reader on a 1959 episode of I’ve Got a Secret. From his 2007 New York Times obituary:

David H. Shepard, who in his attic invented one of the first machines that could read, and then, to facilitate its interpreting of credit-card receipts, came up with the near-rectilinear font still used for the cards’ numbers, died on Nov. 24 in San Diego. He was 84. …

Mr. Shepard followed his reading machine, more formally known as an optical-character-recognition device, with one that could listen and talk. It could answer only “yes” or “no,” but each answer led to a deeper level of complexity. A later version could simultaneously handle multiple telephone inquiries. …

In 1964, his “conversation machine” became the first commercial device to give telephone callers access to computer data by means of their own voices.  …

Mr. Shepard apologized many times for his major role in forcing people to converse with a machine instead of with a human being.•

A writer who doesn’t do research isn’t worth a damn. Harold Robbins, he did research. From a 2007 Daily Mail article about the author working at his craft:

Under the beady eyes of the host, the party began with a little gentle socialising.

His hand-picked guests – as always, more women than men – then moved on to the next stage: marijuana, inhibition-loosening sedatives and cocaine.

When everyone seemed suitably relaxed, he started stroking a woman’s hair, moving his hands slowly downwards onto her body.

This was Harold Robbins’s less-than-subtle signal for the orgy to begin.

Soon, people were ripping off their clothes, piling into his vast, champagne-coloured bedroom and losing themselves in a pile of writhing bodies.

As they cavorted, heads would occasionally pop up to check out the view in the mirrored ceiling.

As the mastermind of these popular Beverly Hills parties, the best-selling novelist always selected the participants himself – each of whom had to be stunningly good-looking, famous or well-endowed.
His second wife, Grace, used to say that she never knew where he found them.

“I had never met any of them before, or ever would again,” she said.•

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Harold Robbins wrote literature most suitable for the beach and for masturbation, though it’s probably best for readers to choose one or the other. In typical bluster from his heyday, the wet-dream merchant used a 1974 People article by Sandra Hochman to dismiss Roth, Bellow, Mailer and Hemingway, though the racy writer did speak fondly of Steinbeck, Dickens and Dumas. The article’s opening:

Harold Robbins steps off the plane at La Guardia Airport dressed like a California cowboy. Tall and tough-looking, he is wearing a tan cashmere jacket, silk printed shirt open at the chest, tight brown pants, a $3,000 Patek Philippe watch and white-embroidered brown boots, which are on one-inch platforms. He is as subtle and unpretentious as a character from one of his own steamy novels.

His press agent arrives in a blue limousine crammed with shopping bags which contain copies of Robbins’ new book, The Lonely Lady. Robbins and his wife ride out to the Air France terminal at Kennedy Airport. Grace Robbins, who is at least his third wife—he says only that he’s had “many”—is striking. She is all in white. Her shoes are wooden wedgies, even higher than his.

They are both easygoing, smiling. At Air France, their party is hustled to the VIP area of the first-class lounge. It is a circular, red-carpeted nook that has fake flowers on the coffee table, a white leatherette couch and a huge hanging silver lamp that looks like a hair dryer. The best-selling author in the world and his consort settle themselves comfortably for a short wait on their journey to France and home.

Printed on the inside of Harold Robbins’ paperbacks is the claim: “Every day, around the world, 25,000 people buy a Robbins novel.” That’s 9,125,000 books a year, counting Sundays; it may well be true. His dozen previous novels have topped the best-seller list. Lonely Lady, his 13th, will too. All told, Robbins’ books have sold more than 135 million copies. In a world where few writers ever find their way to the top, Robbins lives there.

No credit is due critics and purists, who usually consider Robbins’ lettres to be less than belles and delight in saying so. A 1974 New York Times review of The Pirate said, “Robbins is more a product than a writer and is marketed as relentlessly as a vaginal deodorant spray.” Reviews of The Lonely Lady so far have damned it with the faint praise of “good entertainment.” But who’s to say his work won’t be among the most remembered literature of our time? One person’s laundry list is another person’s poetry.

Robbins politely asks a lounge attendant for Playboy and Hustler to be sent over from a newsstand. He needs them, he explains, because he is researching a new book. The hero will be a skin magazine publisher, perhaps a composite of Hugh Hefner and Bob Guccione and others in that trade.

Robbins courteously orders drinks. There is talk about a big party which will take place in Cannes. Robbins seems indifferent. It is to be a combination birthday-promotion party for the movie version of The Pirate, the first film that Robbins is producing independently. But Robbins hates parties, even his own, which are frequent.

Harold Robbins writes about street people who hurl themselves against a hostile society and either become cosmically rich and powerful—or abjectly fall apart and are corrupted. This contrast between good and evil has led many readers to place Robbins’ work in the category of morality tales. His affinity for explicit and kinky sex scenes has led other readers to dismiss it as pornography.

Now 60, Robbins did not start writing novels until he was in his 30s, but then his formula emerged full-blown: Take a famous person who is or has been in the public subconscious—Howard Hughes (The Carpetbaggers) or auto executive Henry Ford (The Betsy) or, with his current novel, Peyton Place author Grace Metalious. (Robbins says The Lonely Lady is not Jacqueline Susann, as some reviewers have speculated.) Create a persona in fiction that is an exaggeration of the celebrity. Jumble together action, narrative drive, bitter pragmatism, sex, exotic locales, accurate observation of small details and energetic street language.

Robbins certainly knows the hard-times-to-lap-of-luxury tales he deals with; whether writing about the hucksterism of Hollywood, the rackets of the jet set, the con men on the streets and in large corporations or the poverty of a kid on the Lower East Side, Robbins has some life research he can put into his novels.•

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“People who have it all and want more,” 1969:

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This week,

This week, talk show host Jimmy Fallon was criticized for humanizing Donald Trump, a racist troglodyte who mocks disabled people and POWs. It was reminiscent of his interview with Idi Amin.

Thank you for having me on your show.

Thank you for inviting me on your show, Jimmy.

It's great to have you. Are those friends of yours in the green room?

It’s great to have you. What have you been up to lately?

Thank you for having me on your show.

I’ve been torturing to death my political enemies and eating soup made from their severed, boiled heads.

That's so much fun. I'm a foodie, too. Your great. Everyone's great. I don't drink too much. There are no problems. Now lets play Karaoke contest together.

That’s so much fun. I’m a foodie, too. You’re great. Everyone’s great. I don’t drink too much. There are no problems. Now let’s play beer pong with Busy Phillips.

questlove34

 

  • Peter Diamandis’ vision of a future of “haves and super-haves” is flawed.
  • Reason reviews Eve Herold’s new book, Transhumanism Is Inevitable.
  • Jack Hofsiss, director of the NYC stagings of The Elephant Man, just died.

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10 search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:

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10 search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:

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10 search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:

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  4. alan whicker interviews harold robbins
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With the Pope abut to visit, Mayor de Blasio ordered a fresh coat of paint for New York.

This week, with the Pope about to visit, Mayor de Blasio ordered a fresh coat of paint for New York City.


  • Anders Sandberg did a great AMA about Transhumanism, space travel, etc.
  • Ai Weiwei discusses China’s modernization, social media, etc.
  • British paranormal investigator Jayne Harris specializes in haunted dolls.
  • NASA is conducting myriad tests to prep astronauts for a Mars mission.
  • Tim Harford thinks Amazon’s bad reputation may be underserved. I don’t.
  • Travis Kalanick likely won’t be Uber CEO by the time driverless is a reality.
  • Pitcher Andrew Heaney is selling stock in his baseball future. Bad idea.

Harold Robbins would have bragged if nine female typists had quit in shock while working on one of his novels, but it was different story in a different era for James Joyce. Getting Ulysses past censors was an arduous task, and he might have tossed the pages aside for good if it wasn’t for the intervention of Shakespeare & Co. owner Sylvia Beach. She gambled her own money and prodded Joyce through many iterations of his work on the way to the printing press, bringing the novel to Parisians in 1922. The volume was a smash hit in France and was soon reselling for $700 a copy. An article about Beach follows from the December 24, 1933 Brooklyn Daily Eagle, timed to the belated un-banning of the book in America.

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I was watching TV the other day and heavily armed men were screaming "Death to Americans!"

This week, we watched as heavily armed men threatened to bring death to Americans.

It was the Ferguson police.

It was the Ferguson police.

  • Warren Bennis, corporate leadership expert, loathed “job creators.”
  • Texas is betting big on Bitcoin.
  • David Simon recalls the bright and dark sides of Robin Williams.
  • Newspapers aim to remake themselves as Buzzfeed or some other bullshit.
  • Lauren Bacall, that wonderful, had a rich and fascinating life.
  • Jane Arraf, Al Jazeera’s Iraq correspondent, did an AMA.
  • Coco Chanel, a terrible, awful person, made really nice clothes.
This week, Russian President Vladimir Putin banned all Western food imports.

This week, Vladimir Putin banned all Western food imports.

But Russians should still save room for a delicious dinner...

But Russians should still save room for a delicious dinner…

...and dessert.

…and dessert.

  • Syd Mead predicts the future of transportation in a post-driver world.
  • Robocars would change dense urban areas.
  • Elon Musk is worried about the specter of superintelligence.
  • Bill Keller surveys the contemporary media landscape.

 

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Afflictor: Thinking now that the New York Times has published Vladmimir Putin, other dictators who commit atrocities may finally get a chance.

Afflictor: Thinking now that the New York Times has published peace activist Vladimir Putin, other dictators may get bylines at the Gray Lady.

I am going to be writing for the Times about food, theater and parenting.

What about me? I can write for the Times about food, theater and parenting. I have experience in all three.

You know what tastes like chickens? My enemies.

You know what tastes like chicken? My enemies.

The scene in which Hamlet talked to Yorick's skull was moving.

It’s very moving when Hamlet talks to Yorick’s skull.

Of the dozen of children I fathered, only one is known to have stomped a man to death.

Of the 43 children I fathered, only one has been convicted in the vicious gang murder of a Somali youth.

You're hired.

You’re hired.

  • David Epstein, author of the Sports Gene, did an Ask Me Anything.

I used to have the complete version of Alan Whicker’s 1971 documentary about the wet-dream merchant Harold Robbins on the site until it was removed from Youtube. But even just the opening posted below is worth watching, with the trashy author making his way through his childhood neighborhood, Hell’s Kitchen, during New York City’s bad old days. Robbins, who was the best-selling novelist in the world at the time, specialized in literature that was most suitable for the beach or masturbation, though preferably not both at the same time. 


Some search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:

Afflictor: Glad to see that Time magazine has a double issue this week.

  • Barbara Walters is right about Megan McCain, but…
  • Louis C.K. is still murdering homeless people and stuff.
  • Berezniki, built atop a mine and prone to sinkholes, is constantly monitored.
  • Dogs may have helped humans outlast Neanderthals.

All this stuff about Jacqueline Susann got me thinking about another author of popular trash from before my time, Harold Robbins, who was the best-selling novelist in the world about 40 years ago, specializing in literature that was most suitable for the beach or masturbation, though preferably not both at the same time. From 1971, a really fun portrait of the wet-dream merchant.

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To celebrate the 1975 film release of Tommy, a gigantic underground party for 1,000 guests was given at closed-down, cleaned-up New York City subway stop. Bill Murray, an unknown then, managed to sneak in and said the dumbest fucking thing to Andy Warhol.

The party was described by gossip columnist Earl Wilson, who was of such a different era that his title for a time was “Saloon Editor“:

New York, N.Y. — A midnight supper dance in the subway was one of the great evenings of the generation. Though it was a promotion for the film, Tommy, everyone had something to say, such as “Does this party stop at 14th St.?”

“What time do we get mugged?” asked one party guest, Fred Robbins.

“You know what I miss–the graffiti,” declared Milton Goldman the agent because the subway stop’s walls had been washed down scrupulously before the party.

About 900 lo 1,000 people were dancing, eating and drinking after the big opening at the Ziegfeld. “How many tokens is this?” I asked. About $50,000 worth, I was told. The film company paid for the 50 to 100 extra security cops.

“I met one of my husbands in the subway and never went back,” actress Sylvia Miles said.

Ann-Margret and Elton John were of course the ones being protected. They danced together. I tried to cut in. Nobody paid me any mind, Elton John said his real name is Reginald Dwight and he pinched Elton from a musician buddy.

Angela Lansbury paid tribute to the food, said she had joy that was “excruciating,” only regretted that she had to walk through horse manure from the police horses to get from the theater lo the subway station.

They were still at it at 2. “This is like the subway’s 5 o’clock rush hour,” Tommy De Maio said. It was probably true that there were people there who’d never been in a subway and actually wondered what it was like down there.•

From Murray’s new Reddit Ask Me Anything:

Question:

What was the best party you’ve ever crashed?

Bill Murray:

Well, we crashed a famous party called the subway party to celebrate the premiere of Tommy, in the 70s. It was Gilda Radner, Belushi, Harold Ramis, Joe Flaherty, Brian Doyle Murray, and we were all plus 1, probably. It was biggest party ever in NYC at the time. You couldn’t get into this party. It was an inner circle thing. It was at an enclosed subway stop, it was a roar. It was a scream. If you made an airport movie with everyone on the plane is a celebrity, it was like that times 10. We were doing a show in the restaurant cabaret, the guys catering were the same guys who gave us left over french fries, we went into the backdoor to the subway with everyone. Everyone saying hi, hello. And we felt like we didn’t belong at all. It was so fantastic. I have compassion when people say dumb stuff to me. I said to Andy Warhol “I love the soup cans” and he looked at me like “You don’t belong here.” What a time that was.•

eltonann

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