Recently Posted On NYC’s Craigslist

“Innocent teacher.”

To the man who stole my bike last night (Astoria)

Fuck you! You low life piece of shit. Just because you are too poor to purchase a bike of your own doesn’t give you the right to steal someones personal property. Get a job you lazy mother fucker.

I pray that you witness every member of your family suffering.

I hope your daughter will contract AIDS and become pregnant with a baby that also has AIDS. Then you will watch her slowly die in pain and agony. I hope that your son gets cancer or leukemia or some other painful terminal disease. I hope that you have to pay for him to go to hospice and watch helplessly as he fades away. I hope that your wife cheats on you because she no longer wants to fuck a tiny dick and wants a real man. I want you to suffer as she takes it in the pussy, ass and mouth and finally orgasms after all these years faking it with you. You pathetic excuse for a man. I hope that your parents, if they are still alive, are mugged in their own homes. I hope your father watches as your mother is slapped around by some robbers and cries because he is too old and weak to save her. I hope that your father gets sick and can no longer stay in his house. I hope that he goes to a horrible nursing home where the nurses miss treat him and leave him to wallow in his own filth.

I hope that you are alive and well to witness all of this. And if your son, daughter, wife, or parents ever ask you why? “Why did this happen to us?” You can tell them it is because their father/husband/son is a piece of shit human being that stole a hard working innocent teacher’s bike.

Have a good day.