Mitt Romney: Face smooth like baby’s ass.
- Although the final night of the RNC was most notable for saving us all admission on The Expendables 14, and, perhaps, the last gasp of fake tough guys convincing Americans they know best, Mitt Romney tried to show his feminine side. He romanced the ladies in the audience with tales of his parents’ loving relationship. He said it all with honey in his voice. It was like watching Neil Diamond in 1978 (though Neil never wanted women to put an aspirin between their knees). And then he blew his cover at the end with his asinine mocking of attempts at reversing “rising oceans” and “healing the Earth” as if female voters–and most voters, actually–think the health of the planet is grist for an obnoxious punchline.
- The line about Obama raising taxes on the middle class was patently false and there were other doozies, though Romney’s speech was nowhere close to Paul Ryan’s in terms of mendacity.
- However, Romney’s idea that everyone in the country rallied around Obama after he became President was absurd. There is proof that the GOP gathered before he was inaugurated to plan obstructionist action.
- Romney spent far too much time polishing this speech to have not intended a double meaning with his “you need an American” line. It was another Birther jab. Sad stuff from a guy who claims to have pulled over to the side of the road and wept when Mormons undid their racist beliefs about African-Americans.
- Not incredibly important, just an observation about double standards: Occasionally male politicians are called out for the cosmetic nature of their looks–Ronald Reagan’s hair color, John Kerry’s Botox–but women are always called out on such things. And even about their clothes. Can you imagine if a 65-year-old woman at the top of a ticket had a smoother face than her VP candidate, who was 42 and a health-and-fitness devotee? I’m assuming a few things would be said whether they’re true or not.
Tags: Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan