2011

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Recently Posted On NYC’s Craigslist

February 21, 2011 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

"Fo' reals!"


Please Buy My Motherfuckin’ Jeans – $80 (TriBeCa)

I don’t know why I bought these fucking jeans. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking. Somehow in the hazy, incandescent atmosphere of Diesel with that thumping, ear wrenching, aurally catastrophic “music” being slowly driven through my brain, I actually believed these jeans fit me. They do not. Now, nearly a month later, having tried to wear them again whilst not being intoxicated by presumptuous conceit and delusional grandeur, I have come to the conclusion that the jeans just aren’t right, they never were and they never will be. It’s truly a shame because they are really fucking cool jeans! Fo’ reals! Somebody with the correct body structure could rock the shit out of these jeans…sadly, that person is not me. And so, with a heavy heart, I would like to see these make their way into the hands of a more deserving individual, a person whose body can do justice to the high quality of build and superior materials which came into confluence, thus birthing the Viker 0088Z. The measurements of these jeans are: Men’s W26, L30. Except for trying them on in the store, they’ve only been worn once. I paid $160 for them, but I’m selling them for $80. Below is a photo of the receipt, to prove the authenticity of these motherfuckin’ jeans.

Famously Failed Doomsday Predictions

February 21, 2011 in Science/Tech, Urban Studies, Videos | Permalink

Hale-Bopp soars past Death Valley. (Image by Mkfairdpm.)

Newmark’s Door pointed me to a list of (thankfully) failed end-of-the world prognostications collected on Live Science. Here’s a particularly stupid one:

“Heaven’s Gate, 1997

When comet Hale-Bopp appeared in 1997, rumors surfaced that an alien spacecraft was following the comet — covered up, of course, by NASA and the astronomical community. Though the claim was refuted by astronomers (and could be refuted by anyone with a good telescope), the rumors were publicized on Art Bell’s paranormal radio talk show Coast to Coast AM. These claims inspired a San Diego UFO cult named Heaven’s Gate to conclude that the world would end soon. The world did indeed end for 39 of the cult members, who committed suicide on March 26, 1997.”

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“I Shouldn’t Just Be A Nude Model Or Bouncer–I Should Be Doing Physics And Math”

February 21, 2011 in Urban Studies, Videos | Permalink

Here is the amazing Rick Rosner episode of Errol Morris’ sensational First Person TV series. Rosner is a waiter, stripper and nude model with a genius IQ, who had an unfortunate experience on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

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“Philip K. Dick Typed 120 Words A Minute Even When He Wasn’t On Speed”

February 21, 2011 in Books, Excerpts, Urban Studies | Permalink

pkd89

Long Form pointed me to a great 1993 New Republic article by Alexander Star about Philip K. Dick. An excerpt:

A heavy man with an absent smile and an intent gaze, Philip Dick typed 120 words a minute even when he wasn’t on speed, drank prodigious quantities of scotch and completed five marriages and over fifty novels before the pills and the liquor conspired to kill him at 54. His busy life has been ably narrated by Lawrence Sutin in his biography, Divine Invasions, which appeared a few years ago. Born in 1928, Dick witnessed the Depression from inside a broken home. His father, an employee of the Department of Agriculture, left the family in 1931 and went on to host a radio show in Los Angeles called This is Your Government. Dick grew up with his mother on the fringes of Berkeley’s fledgling bohemia. A troubled student, he was often “hypochondriacal about his mental condition,” as one of his wives later put it. And like many troubled boys of the time, he became a voracious reader of the science fiction pulp magazines that were then at their peak. In Confessions of a Crap Artist, a novel written in 1959, he wryly portrayed himself as an awkward kid spouting oddball ideas from Popular Mechanics and adventure stores: “Even to look at me you’d recognize that my main energies are in the mind.”•

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Grossest Pool Table Ever

February 21, 2011 in Sports, Urban Studies, Videos | Permalink

Willie Mosconi wouldn’t go anywhere near it. (Thanks Reddit.)

Life On Norfolk And Hester Streets (1898)

February 21, 2011 in Excerpts, Photography, Urban Studies | Permalink

Fruit peddlers and hat stores were popular on this stretch of the Lower East Side in 1898.

This classic picture (photographer unknown) shows pedestrian traffic on the Lower East Side on Norfolk and Hester Streets in 1898. A few brief clips below from the Brooklyn Daily Eagle look at the raffish side of life on these streets during that era.

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November 16, 1902: “Molly Marshall, 17 years old, giving her address as 327 Harrison avenue, Boston, and Solomon Rosenthal, 30, of 26 Norfolk street, Manhattan, were locked up at Police Headquarters last night as suspicious persons. The complainant is Max Singer of 24 Norfolk street, who claims to be the girl’s uncle. Singer says he received a letter two days ago from the girl’s mother, in Boston, notifying him that the girl had disappeared and that it was feared she had eloped with Rosenthal, who had not been seen since the girl’s departure. He said the woman asked him to watch New York for them.”

••••••••••

August 14, 1896: “Charles Leskowitz, 3 years old, of 113 Norfolk street, New York, was put to sleep on the fire escape on the second floor of the above house last night. Early this morning he rolled off and fell to the first floor, but was picked up a few minutes later uninjured.”

••••••••••

September 6, 1891: “Isaac Hoffer, 19 years old, who claims a residence at 58 Norfolk street, New York, was held for trial by Justice Smith at the Essex market police court yesterday charged with having stolen a baby carriage belonging to Mrs. Lina Sowden, from the hallway of her residence, 127 Rivington street. He was trying to sell it for 25 cents when he was arrested.”

••••••••••

November 22, 1890: “Joseph Thompson, charged by Frederick Wool, of 148 Norfolk street, New York, a wandering minstrel, with knocking him down, was held for examination on Monday.”

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September 2, 1893: “Nathan Levine, 17 years old, of 32 Hester street, and Meyer Shubert, 13 years old, of 78 Norfolk street, were before Justice Meade, in the Tombs police court, New York, this morning, charged with stealing a horse and wagon belonging to Philip Ramburgh of this city. Ramburgh left the team at the Washington market for a few minutes, and when he returned it was gone. He afterward found the boys trying to sell the outfit for $20. In court this morning they were held for examination.”

Levitating On Water With A Jet Pack

February 21, 2011 in Science/Tech, Videos | Permalink

A relatively new way to die.

Strange, Small & Forgotten Films: Little Murders (1971)

February 21, 2011 in Film | Permalink

Elliott Gould also played the lead role in the 1969 stage version of "Little Murders."

Both romantic and a comedy though neither in the usual sense, Little Murders is a nihilistic love story set in New York during the late ’60s, when the city was notable for blackouts, blue language and brown tap water. Originally a Jules Feiffer play, the film adaptation remains the only feature directed by Alan Arkin, who certainly didn’t get cheated with this dark vision of life during an age of steep decline.

Photographer Alfred Chamberlain (Elliott Gould) doesn’t defend himself when muggers punch him in the head because he knows their flailing arms will eventually tire. He’s given up his commercial photo career so that he can take pictures of excrement left on the filthy sidewalks. And it barely permeates the fog on his shoulders when Patsy (Marcia Rodd), a brassy woman with an eye for renovation, storms boldly into his damaged life. She introduces him to her severely dysfunctional family and gets him to marry her, but Alfred still can’t snap back to consciousness, if he was ever there to begin with. The photographer is a portrait of the seemingly hopeless turmoil he inhabits, a mean era only getting meaner. When Alfred does manage to awaken, it’s certainly not for love.

Little Murders manages to make some truly appalling, depressing things funny, but it’s obviously after more than just laughs. “Every age has its problems,” Patsy says, trying to bring cheer to her listless new husband, “but people manage to be happy.” But what if the things that make you feel happy–or feel at all–just cause more problems?

Recent Film Posts:

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Listeria: Baseball Terminology From 1892

February 20, 2011 in Sports, Urban Studies | Permalink

"Dirty Ball: A mean trick by a player in illegally interfering with an opposing player." (Image by Bain News Service.)

Taken from the 1892 Brooklyn Daily Eagle “Base Ball Glossary.”

  • The Box: The pitcher’s position.
  • Chase the Leather, or the Sphere: To run after the ball when batted to the field.
  • Corker: A fast, hard hit ball sent to the field by the batsmen.
  • Daisy Cutter: A ball knocked by a batsman that goes at a rapid rate through the grass.
  • Died on Base: When a base runner is on a base and the third man on his side is put out.
  • Dirty Ball: A mean trick by a player in illegally interfering with an opposing player.
  • Fan: An enthusiast who talks base ball incessantly.
  • Fumble: When a player fails to a catch a ground ball, but fumbles it after stopping it.
  • Garden: The entire field.
  • Hot One: When the ball, on being hit hard, travels very fast.
  • Rap Out: To bat out the ball.
  • Stick Work: Batting.
  • Twirler: Pitcher.
  • Yellow Ball: Poor playing.

Dog Feel Happy. Dog Feel Very Happy.

February 20, 2011 in Urban Studies, Videos | Permalink

Good for dog.

Old Print Article: “The Fire Annihilator,” Brooklyn Daily Eagle (1851)

February 20, 2011 in Old Print Articles, Science/Tech, Urban Studies | Permalink

Not even P.T. Barnum could sell the Fire Annihilator, an early flame extinguisher created by British inventor William Phillips. The Big Top legend invested heavily in the apparatus and announced (with great hoopla, of course) a demonstration in Manhattan to be held on December 17, 1851. Things did not go well.

According to some publications, Barnum’s friend, Signor Blitz, a ventriloquist, bird trainer and magician, complicated matters by mischievously throwing his voice to make it sound like people and livestock were trapped by the fire that had been set for the trial. That may or not be apocryphal. Whatever the cause, the machine failed, and inside of a year the Fire Annihilator factory in London was completely destroyed–by a fire. Because Barnum had often boasted of his ability to fool all of the people all of the time, the ink-stained wretches were not kind about the public failure.

The New York Times panned the Annihilator, and here’s an excerpt from the Brooklyn Daily Eagle story about the doomed demonstration:

Yesterday, in order to satisfy our curiosity in regard to the merits of the so-called Fire Annihilator, we preceded to New York to witness the exhibition trial of the machine, which was announced to take place. In order to avoid accidents, the trial took place so far up town as 63rd street in an unenclosed space of ground, without any houses in the neighborhood. A quantity of pitch was ignited, and two of the machines applied to extinguish the flames. The pitch was spread on a frame of boards about four feet by six, and probably made a coating two or three inches in depth. One of the machines was put in operation, and a stream of white vapor resembling steam issued forth and was directed towards the fire; another similarly charged, was applied to the other side of the fire. A hissing noise followed, but when both of the machines were exhausted the fire was burning as strongly as ever. The performance was repeated several times with similar results.

As the trial was long postponed, and publicly advertised to take place on this occasion, it is to be presumed that everything was so well prepared for testing the capacity of the machine as to give fair proof of its character; and after having witnessed the trial we are forced to say, that we would put infinitely more confidence in a bucket of water, in case of a fire, than in Barnum’s Annihilator.•

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Advertisement For Telephone Service (1899)

February 20, 2011 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

"Increases the facility with which invitations may be extended and accepted." (Image by Infrogmation.)


A print newspaper advertisement from 1899:

“Telephone service increases the facility with which invitations may be extended and accepted. Telephone service saves time, strength and nerves. Telephone service keeps members of the family in constant touch, no matter in what part of the country they may be located. Telephone service adds immeasurably to the comfort of suburban life by bringing the city within speaking distance. Residence service as low as 81 cents per week. The New York and New Jersey Telephone Company, 81 Willoughby Street, Brooklyn, New York.”

Frank Zappa Makes Bicycle Music (1963)

February 20, 2011 in Urban Studies, Videos | Permalink

Zappa transforms a bike into a musical instrument on one iteration of the Steve Allen Show. Invaluable if crummy-looking footage. (Thanks Reddit.)

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“Late Next Year, You’ll Be Able To Buy Your Own Flying Car”

February 20, 2011 in Science/Tech, Urban Studies | Permalink

The Transition in the air... (Image by Terrafugia.)

Rebecca Boyle of Popsci has a post about the Transition, a plane-car hybrid that has been approved by the FAA for sale in 2012. It won’t be cheap, but it’s not as expensive as I might have imagined. An excerpt:

“Late next year, you’ll be able to buy your own flying car — er, ‘roadable aircraft’ — thanks to a thumbs-up from the Federal Aviation Administration. As long as you have $194,000 and a sport pilot license.

The agency approved the Transition plane-car this week, giving it a Light Sport Aircraft rating. The test prototype has been flying for about a year, but plane-maker Terrafugia will unveil its production-class plane next month at the Experimental Aircraft Association’s annual convention in Oshkosh, Wisc.

The Transition drives like a car, uses normal high-octane gasoline, has front-wheel-drive and even comes with airbags. Its fuel economy is about 30 miles per gallon. But unlike your Prius, it can unfold its wings and fly. You’ll only need a one-third of a mile strip for a runway, meaning you could conceivably use your own street. It is powered by a rear propeller and flies about 115 miles per hour.

The ideal customer is a sport pilot who gets tired of flying to regional regional airports only to have to wait for a cab, rent a car or use public transportation. Now he or she can just fold up the wings and motor on to the next errand.”

...and on the ground. (Image by Terrafugia.)

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Recently Posted On NYC’s Craigslist

February 20, 2011 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

"Just be prepared for her ignorant rants about how everyone is stupid and things used to be so much better."

My Grandma… (Westchester)

I would like to barter my Grandma. Currently I am living with her. She is independent and does not need to be taken care of. Just be prepared for her ignorant rants about how everyone is stupid and things used to be so much better. You will hear about how she is glad her husband is dead and probably some racist stuff also. She will be nice to you and everyone else’s face but will badmouth everyone behind their back in the six hours she spends on the phone a day. She will do gross stuff like use your kitchen sponge to wash everywhere and put it back in the sink. Also never eat her cooking. She is unsanitary and you will be crapping liquid for days. She does stuff like dipping raw chicken in bread crumbs and then putting the remainder back in the box to be used again. Grandma is a pack-rat who blows through money recklessly and then complains she is poor but uses the excuse that the bible says the world will end soon. And speaking of the bible if you ever cross her she will say you have the demons in you. She believes that she was diagnosed with MS in her thirties and overcame it. (First case I ever heard of) Dont try and argue with her. She is always right. If you have any type of headache ever she will insist you are a drunk even though you never drink.

Doesn’t sound too great huh. Maybe we can barter for some yard work exchange for the next sixty years and you could maybe just push her down the stairs. Be creative…will entertain all offers.

“We Practice In Order To Give Our Leader Joy”

February 20, 2011 in Politics, Urban Studies, Videos | Permalink

In “North Korea: Cinema of Dreams,” Al Jazeera English takes a look inside Pyongyang’s University of Cinematic and Dramatic Arts, the heart of Kim Jong–il’s propaganda machine. The delusional “Dear Leader” is convinced that he’s a genius of cinema, theater and the circus. The circus part I believe.

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This Week’s Afflictor Keyphrase Searches

February 19, 2011 in Misc. | Permalink


A few search engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:

“Highlights” From Another Week Of Afflictor Crap

February 19, 2011 in Misc. | Permalink

Afflictor: Attracting the attention of the intelligentsia since 2009.
  • Garry Kasparov tries to make sense of the strange life of Bobby Fischer.
  • It bothers Bill Joy when the Unabomber’s writings make sense to him.

Thai Folding Umbrella Market + Speeding Train

February 18, 2011 in Urban Studies, Videos | Permalink

Peddlers at a market in Thailand close shop to allow train to pass.

“What We Need Is A New Frontier, An Open Space For Political Experiments…And The Next Frontier Is The Ocean”

February 18, 2011 in Excerpts, Science/Tech, Urban Studies | Permalink

A seasteading design by Andras Gyorfi.

Seasteading sounds ridiculous to me, but what do I know? Ray Kurzweil’s blog has a transcript of “How to Create a Startup Country,” a speech on building nations on the ocean, presented by Patri Friedman:

“A startup country could be the world’s first trillion dollar business.

Now for humanity, this is a huge problem, but with our entrepreneur hats on, what a business opportunity! A startup country could be the world’s first trillion dollar business. But right now, there’s no way for an entrepreneur with a great idea for a startup country to make it happen. Unlike the software industry, where you can get started with just a laptop, to enter the government industry, you need a open space, a physical place that allows political experiments. But there is no such place — every piece of land in the world is claimed.

So there are no startup countries, there’s no channel for innovation of entrepreneurs … no wonder it’s a such a sad industry.

So why don’t we see more innovation in politics? Now, politics is a pretty emotionally charged subject. You’re not supposed to talk about that, or religion. So let’s take a new perspective. Let’s forget about left and right and instead, put on our entrepreneur hats. Let’s think of government as an industry, where countries are firms and citizens are customers.

This is not just any industry. This is the world’s biggest industry. The leading firm had 2009 revenues of 2.5 trillion dollars. Strangely, it’s also an industry legendary for poor performance. That leading firm lost 1.4 trillion. And that’s a top company. The worst companies kill many of their own customers. It’s a pretty sad industry!

The seasteading solution: let a thousand nations bloom

So that’s how we come to seasteading — homesteading the high seas. What we need is a new frontier, an open space for political experiments…and the next frontier is the ocean. With a little technical innovation to make this new frontier accessible, we can unleash enormous political innovation. Let a thousand nations bloom on the high seas, trying diverse political systems — essentially, a startup sector for government.”

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“Twin Oaks Was One Of Thousands Of Communes To Sprout Across A Restive America In The ’60s And ’70s”

February 18, 2011 in Excerpts, Urban Studies | Permalink

Hammock weaving at the Twin Oaks community.

The opening of “The Other American Dream,” Tamara Jones’ 1998 article in the Washington Post about Twin Oaks, a 1960s Virginia commune that neither burned out nor faded away, but instead survived to confront its own midlife crisis:

“To get there, follow the winding road past shadowed woods and sunlit fields, past the tiny church with its tall steeple, past the eerie old mill and listless river, until finally you come upon the sign that taunts: ‘If you lived at Twin Oaks, you’d be home now.’ Venture through the gate, down the dirt driveway to the white clapboard farmhouse, which is precisely where the path ends and the journey began.

Kat Kinkade remembers being so excited that first day that she couldn’t decide where to start, so she grabbed an old broom and began sweeping the chicken house, making a compost pile of the filth. At 36, she was a bored secretary banking not just her future but her entire identity on a slim novel she had read in night school. Seven other people, including Kat’s new husband and her teenage daughter, moved with her that day to rural Louisa County, Virginia, where they had leased a modest farm. The year was 1967, and as Vietnam exploded and racial violence bloodied streets across America, this small, misbegotten group of dropouts, visionaries, drifters and seekers began working on an exquisitely detailed plan to change the world.

Twin Oaks was one of thousands of communes to sprout across a restive America in the ’60s and ’70s, emblems of hope and hubris. Most would disappear unnoticed. Twin Oaks was different, though. Against all odds, it managed to flourish, growing from eight people to nearly 100, becoming not merely self-sustaining but successful, a land trust sprawling across 450 efficiently managed acres to form what is surely one of the last bastions of pure communism in the modern world. From each according to ability, to each according to need. No one goes hungry or cold. Everyone is employed. The children are joyful. Competition, materialism and wastefulness are rare. Violence is forbidden; ambition quelled. Admirable goals have been achieved, and it would be easy to assume that happiness prevails. But reality is always more complex.

Which is why Twin Oaks, in its plump and improbable middle age, now finds itself searching so fervently for all the dreams that got lost, somehow, on the way to Utopia.”

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Recently Posted On NYC’s Craigslist

February 18, 2011 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

"Gene." (Image by Stahlkocher.)

Awesome costume of a washing machine! (Gramercy)

We built and used it for a design project, but now we have no room for Gene the Washing Machine!! Can you give him a good home?

He’s made of fabric and foam and a cardboard box inside.

Contact only if you are very serious about picking this up in Manhattan.

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Iranians Selling Their Kidneys

February 18, 2011 in Science/Tech, Urban Studies, Videos | Permalink

Of course, Iranians aren’t the only ones selling organs. (Thanks Reddit.)

Life Maps The History Of Computing

February 18, 2011 in Photography, Science/Tech, Urban Studies | Permalink

The Jacquard Weaving Loom was, "the first machine to use punched cards to control a series of sequences," according to "Life."

Life.com has a slideshow called “A Brief History of Computing,” which progresses from abacus to iPad in a few dozen images. See it here.

Mark Zuckerberg’s Ex-Girlfriend Is Also A Real Piece Of Work

February 18, 2011 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

"He NEVER friended me on Facebook." (Image by Raphaël Labbé.)

The opening scene of The Social Network, David Fincher and Aaron Sorkin’s brilliant takedown of Facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg, features a momentous scene in which the aspiring tech titan is dumped by his girlfriend, Erica Albright, which leads him to begin experimenting with interactivty on the Internet. In the scene, Zuckerberg is presented as a prick and Albright as wronged, but the site Albright has started (it would seem to be real) isn’t exactly short on hubris. On the site, she describes herself as “Yes the Erica Albright who was dating Mark Zuckerberg the founder of the Social Networking website Facebook.” She mentions her long-ago beau and Facebook repeatedly. Well, milk it for all you can, Erica.

One interesting aspect of her posts is that she confirms that plenty of what happens in the movie is fiction, created wholecloth by Sorkin for his remarkably airtight script. The narrative arc of a movie has its demands, and fealty to facts has to be sacrificed. But is it ethical to fictionalize aspects of real people’s lives, especially when those people are alive and young and have most of their futures ahead of them? Zuckerberg took great liberties to achieve what he wanted, but Fincher and Sorkin also took some in making what is the best American film of the year. An excerpt from Albright’s blog:

“I went and saw the movie last night. Kind of crazy that someone is actually playing me in a movie! The movie definitely brought back some great memories….it made me miss my college years that’s for sure! (I feel soooo old) lol (: — I guess you could say the movie is ‘based on a true story’ but there are many scenarios that were soooo made up by Hollywood! As far as the two scenes I’m in, the first one is fairly accurate, we did ‘break-up’ over dinner, I do remember him ripping on my school (that wasn’t the first time)…but the second scene of me at dinner with my friends blowing Mark off never happened. (also he NEVER friended me on Facebook) lol! (:”

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