2010

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Old Print Ad: Kirk’s American Family Soap (1893)

March 31, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

Get a load of those stinky Martians!

It was in 1893 that the Yerkes Observatory in Wisconsin–the birthplace of modern astrophysics–introduced the then-largest refracting telescope in the world, which cost a half a million bucks

Playing off that great step forward in science was Kirk’s Soap, which is still in business today after 160 years. The ad joked about Mars having intelligent life. These Martians apparently smelled like crap and we needed to be honest with them for their own good, so we offered them Earth soap.

The tag line on the soap: “Kirk’s Dusky Diamond Soap, best for Ladies Toilet.” Even for lady Martians, apparently.

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Recently Posted On New York City’s Craigslist

March 31, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

Craig Newmark: Can your clay ginger beer bottles withstand my mighty hammer? (Photo by Dave Sifry.)

Antique bottles and jars!!(1800s)Very raree! (Stanten Island)

I Dug up alot of antique bottles underground on a job in the city. I have 10 ginger beer bottles for sale they are from the 1800s some have the date on them and some dont. They are the bottle that beer first originated in . They are made of clay. The condition of them are dirty because they were found underground but no chips. I can email more pictures if intrested. These bottles are great antiques to have. I am selling them for 30$ each or 10 for 160$ I also have antique jars , medicine bottles, ginger ale bottles, gin bottles and other stuff. IF INTRESTED I WILL SEND PICTURESS.. These are great collectors items and a great part of history.

Excerpted: Cavett (1974)

March 31, 2010 in Books, Excerpts | Permalink

The episode where Groucho Marx annoyed the hell out of Truman Capote was very special.

The Dick Cavett Show that ran evenings on ABC from 1969-1975 is my favorite TV program ever, even though I didn’t see a single episode until decades after it went off the air.

Cavett was an unusually honest and curious interlocutor who always had a fascinating mix of people on his panel (Lillian Gish, Satchel Paige and Salvador Dali shared the stage one night). And this was an era when notable personalities were willing to talk about a lot more than the latest product they were pushing. You owe it to yourself to watch or re-watch the shows that are on DVD. (Just don’t start with the Jimi Hendrix disc–it’s a butchered group of interviews that doesn’t contain the full programs.)

In Cavett’s self-titled 1974 memoirs (a book-long interview with his friend Christopher Porterfield), the host recalls the 1970 show when Georgia Governor Lester Maddox stormed off the stage. An excerpt about the incident:

“People ask me about the time Lester Maddox, the former governor of Georgia walked off my show because I refused to apologize for what he saw as an insult to his constituency.

Was he right to walk off? Yes. But not because I failed to apologize. He was right because it was theatrical and well timed, and got him more attention than he had since the old pick-handle-brandishing days of the Pickrick Restaurant. I heard that he papered the wall of his office with the congratulatory wires he got. Maddox is as smart as a whip–or should I say knout?–and knows how to exploit the media as well as or better than Jerry Rubin or Abbie Hoffman ever did. As I said on the next night’s show, he also knows the value of television time, walking off as he did a scanty eighty-eight minutes into the show.

Truman Capote, who was also on the panel that night, says that, of all the TV he has done, to this day people refer to that night wherever he goes.”

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Decoder: Rep. Michele Bachmann At The “Win Back Washington” Rally In Duluth, Minnesota

March 31, 2010 in Humor, Politics | Permalink

I won 47% of the vote in a congressional district in Minnesota, so I speak for all of America.

Michele Bachmann: On Sunday, on the Sabbath, that was when Speaker Pelosi decided we had to have the [health care] vote.

Decoder: Jesus is probably very pissed off that the day of the Sabbath was used to ensure health care for poor people. He would have stepped on their throats.

Michele Bachmann: Democrats said that they were called the N-word, which of course would be wrong and inappropriate, but no one has any record of it, no witness saw it and it’s not on camera. They said they were spat upon; I walked right through the gauntlet of where they were walking.

Decoder: People who support me didn’t spit at me or insult me, so they couldn’t have done those things to anyone else.

Michele Bachmann: Are you taxed enough already?

Decoder: I don’t mean by my shrill delivery and poor facility with the English language. I was talking about tariffs, silly.

Michele Bachmann: Obama is like a kid in a candy store.

Decoder: He’s like the tall kid in the candy store, trying to buy cigarettes with a fake ID.

Michele Bachmann: If we had a 9% corporate tax, a 0% death tax and a 0% capital gains tax, do you know what we would have?

Decoder: Remarkable inequity. A historical separation between haves and have-nots. No money for basic services.

Michele Bachmann: Federal employees make twice what those of you in the private sector are making.

Decoder: And that’s why I want to eliminate those jobs. They pay well.

Michele Bachmann: One out of five federal employees makes over $100,000 a year.

Decoder: I know because I’m one of them

Michele Bachmann: The Democrats made ridiculous promises about the health care bill.

Decoder: Of course, we made some whoppers, too. Remember death panels and how America would be destroyed if health care passed? That might have been hyperbole.

Michele Bachmann: We now own the entire student-loan industry. It used to be private. Today it’s been nationalized.

Decoder: Big banks will no longer be able take $68 billion of tax money for being middlemen who risk nothing.

Michele Bachmann: If you want a student loan, you now have to go crawling to the government.

Decoder: Or you could file a loan request online. That would eliminate the crawling part. Unless your netbook isn’t near your futon.

Michele Bachmann: When you feel your pulse racing and you’re thinking something’s not right in America, that’s because spending is out of control.

Decoder: Or it could be the meth. Meth is a really bad drug. Do not use it.

Michele Bachmann: America has always been a country of renewal, of innovation, of finding the new mouse trap.

Decoder: Which, by the way, is in the foyer, behind the bookcase. It’s the kind with the glue. If people properly disposed of their food wrappers, we wouldn’t need one.

Michele Bachmann: Barack Obama’s promises aren’t working really well. I think he’s batting about zero.

Decoder: Except for that little promise he made about health-care reform. He kind of came through on that one.

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Old Print Article: “Woman of Muscle,” Brooklyn Daily Eagle (1887)

March 30, 2010 in Old Print Articles, Urban Studies | Permalink

Not Barbara Suydam but perhaps a descendant.

The October 22, 1887 issue of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle reported on the dastardly exploits of a muscular woman and her two-fisted henpecking. The story in full:

“Barbara Suydam, of Babylon, being more muscular than her husband, frequently pummeled him and finally turned him out of doors. She removed to Bay Shore and took all of their household goods with her. Mr. Suydam summoned up courage enough to sue out a writ of replevin with his wife five miles away, and is now the possessor of the furniture.”

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    Urban Studies: “Wife Says She Had 200 Different Sex Partners,” Jet (1966)

    March 30, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

    San Mateo native Tom Brady wasn't even born at the time of the orgies, so don't blame him. (Photo by Keith Allison.)

    San Mateo, California, apparently got a head start on the Summer of Love, as it apparently was a hotbed for wild sexual behavior in 1966. Here’s an excerpt about that lasciviousness from a September 1, 1966 report in Jet magazine:

    “In San Mateo, California, Dr. Harold D. Chope, county health and welfare director, revealed that wife-swapping orgies are causing a sharp increase in the venereal disease rate and one of the married women patients said she had as many as 200 different sex partners over a six-month period. At the same time there has been a sharp drop in the county’s birth rate. Dr Chope said the drop in birth rate was a ‘healthy thing,’ but termed the wife-swapping craze ‘a great worry.’ He said ‘young married couples gather together in large groups, peal off their clothes and start to drink. Before the weekend is over they’ve had relations with practically everyone at the session who is attractive to them.”

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    Strange Moons: Icy Infernos, Living Snowballs, Flying Saucers

    March 29, 2010 in Science/Tech | Permalink

    Conjunction of Earth's moon, Venus and Jupiter.

    Sure, the Earth’s moon is great and all, but what are the most whacked out moons in our solar system? New Scientist has the answer in “The Solar System’s 10 Strangest Moons,” an article that examines some of “the most frigid, violent and strange” ones. A couple of examples.

    *****

    lo

    Pockmarked with sulphurous pits, bathed in intense radiation and shaken by constant volcanic eruptions, Io is the fiery hell of the solar system.

    Despite being cold enough to be covered in layers of sulphur dioxide frost, this large inner moon of Jupiter is the most volcanic world known, spitting out 100 times as much lava as all Earth’s volcanoes can muster, from a surface area just 1/12th the size. Io’s surface is dotted with bubbling lakes of molten rock, the largest of which, Loki Patera, is more than 200 kilometres across.

    *****

    Pan and Atlas

    Most moons are either round and smooth, or lumpy pieces of space rock. Saturn’s Pan and Atlas, on the other hand, come straight from the set of a 1950s B-movie. With a central bulge set inside a disc-like ridge, they bear an uncanny resemblance to your stereotypical flying saucers. Atlas, the flatter of the two, has a diameter of only 18 kilometres from pole to pole, but is almost 40 kilometres across its waist.

    Their strange shape is something of a mystery. While the moons’ rapid rotation would be enough to squash them into a smooth oval it can’t explain the rim around the centre of the saucer shape.

    Recently Posted On New York City’s Craigslist

    March 29, 2010 in Misc., Urban Studies | Permalink

    When picking up the stripper clothes, please do not wear any "hooker-like items." (Image by Momoko.)

    Free Strpper/Dancer like clothing (and shoes)

    “I broke up with my girl 2 months ago and have tons of stripper/dancer/lingerie clothing shoes etc etc.

    micro mini skirts, 6″ heels, garter belts, garter skirts, shelf bras, crotchless bodysuits, micro booty shorts, chaps etc etc.

    Stockings, panthose, garterbelt pantyhose, crotchless pantyhose, anklets. bude, beige and neon colors in all.

    Stillettos, Clear shoes, Pumps, Straps, Thigh high boots, anywhere from 4″ to 6″ heels.

    She wore a size 8 to 9 shoe size was a size 6 had 36DD breast and 5’8″

    This should be for a dancer or a girl who wants to make her guy feel REAL lucky or a professional who dresses for her clients

    My EX was NOT a dancer or a stripper I purchased EVERYTHING for my enjoyment so nothing was worn outside and there are 100’s of pieces that were worn only once or twice

    Please be able to take EVERYTHING It is ALOT maybe 3-4 large suitcases or 5-8 large garbage bags.

    I will drive you in my car to help you drop it off but you must take EVERYTHING in 1 day. I have a Porsche so it will take 2 trips

    NO I do not want sex, or ANYTHING else for the stuff

    IF you WANT we could do a photo shoot (That’s what I did with her) and I could make a nice calendar for your BF or GF for you. but YOU WOULD HAVE TO PAY FOR THE INK AND PAPER about 25.00 if you want it REALLY gift collectable quality. Or we can download it and they can use each month as a screensaver

    Also I live in Manhattan in a pretty prominent building so please dress tactfully when you come to pick up the stuff. Jeans and sneakers are fine just no hooker looking items.”

    Featured Video: “Hippie Marbling” (1970s)

    March 28, 2010 in Videos | Permalink

    This marbling piece isn't from the movie, but it is still incredibly groovy. (Image by Aristeas.)

    “Marbling” is the craft of floating paints on top of the surface of water and immersing a fabric or parchment in it to create a multicolor design. The five-minute 1970 documentary short shows the hippie marbling pioneer known as “Cove” creating one of his large-scale works in Berkeley. It then presents some recent comments from the now gray-haired artist, as he recalls using the money he made from sales of his fabrics to purchase paint supplies, weed, rice and groupies. These days, Cove is an artist and political activist who lives in Sante Fe, New Mexico. Watch the very groovy short film.

    Other recent videos:

    • Fifteen-year-old guru tries to levitate the Astrodome. (1974)
    • Edward Kienholz’s controversial L.A. art show. (1969)
    • Timothy Leary interviewed at Folsom Prison. (1970s)

    Decoder: Sarah Palin’s Recent Comments At The John McCain Reelection Rally And Other Venues

    March 28, 2010 in Humor, Politics | Permalink

    Gun violence is a subtle metaphor for encouraging voting.

    Sarah Palin: Nobody gave us a Teleprompter this time around. I had to write my notes on my hand again.

    Decoder: Every time I try to make an obviously intelligent person like Obama seem stupid, I end up revealing how dumb I am. Maybe I should realize that I’m in no position to question anyone else’s intelligence.

    Sarah Palin: I couldn’t wait to get some of the McCain-Palin team back together again.

    Decoder: Some of them but not most of them. Most of them thought I was unfit and unintelligent.

    Sarah Palin: John McCain is leading the party of ideas.

    Decoder: Like his idea that Republicans should no longer cooperate with Obama on any issue, even issues they actually agree on. That way the whole country can be spited.

    Sarah Palin: We know violence isn’t the answer. When we talk about taking up our arms, we’re talking about our vote.

    Decoder: I’ve purposely not made that clear in the past. I’ve said it in a way that sends a mixed message of gun violence to the crazier elements of the crowd.

    Sarah Palin: When I talk about it’s not a time to retreat, it’s a time to reload, I was trying to inspire people to get involved in their local elections and these upcoming federal elections.

    Decoder: I wasn’t actually encouraging gun violence; I just wanted it to sound that way.

    Sarah Palin: [Don’t believe] this BS coming from the lamestream media.

    Decoder: They accurately reported that I put rifle scope targets on a map of Democratic representatives on my Facebook page. They also dared to report facts about Tea Party members using racial and homophobic slurs and spitting on congresspersons they didn’t agree with.

    Sarah Palin: This is just the beginning of our efforts to take back our country.

    Decoder: We must take back our country from a non-white guy who’s worked really hard to educate himself and achieve. He dares to govern after being chosen by a majority of Americans in a free election.

    Read more Decoders.

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    Old Print Ad: Non-Wilting Jockstraps (1941)

    March 28, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

    You boys will never defeat Hitler if your jockstraps are wilting.

    It was 1941 and it was a fateful year in American history. Sure, we entered WWII and all, but what I’m really talking about is the development of Bike brand non-wilting athletic jockstraps. As this advertisement for the Chicago company emphatically states: “Supporter WILT Is Dangerous!”

    The ad was aimed at coaches who were in charge of student athletes. No price listed. An excerpt from the copy:

    “He looks to you…and he’s your responsibility. No coach is interested in just part-time protection for his athletes. Full protection every playing moment is essential. And that means proper equipment starting with a comfortable, effective non-chafing supporter.

    For these important reasons Bike is chosen by most coaches to support all their teams. Bike’s special non-wilt features assure the kind of support every athlete needs–dependable, long-lasting, comfortable. The finer materials in Bike guarantee it. And Bike’s two famous numbers, 5 and 55, alone in the athletics field use famous “Lastex,” the miracle yarn.”

    See more Old Print Ads.

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    Old Print Article: “A Professional Clown Confronted By His Wife In New York,” Brooklyn Daily Eagle (1887)

    March 28, 2010 in Misc., Old Print Articles | Permalink

    How dare the Hanlon Brothers employ a deadbeat dad as a clown. I'm simply outraged!

    Anytime a clown from the 1880s abandons his wife and children in Paris to move to New York, I’m on the case. That was the transatlantic, clown-centric tale being told on April 10, 1887 in the Brooklyn Daily Eagle.

    The Hanlon Brothers referred to in the piece were a fraternal troupe of acrobats, jugglers and comedians who invented the aerial safety net, which has protected many a high flyer ever since. The story in full:

    “Vassel Pizzarello, a professional clown, was brought to Jefferson Market Court, New York, yesterday afternoon, for abandoning his wife, Marie Pizzarello. The woman says that her husband deserted her and their six children in Paris a year ago. She brought two of the children here some months ago, and since then has been hunting for her husband. She is now staying at 12 Warwick place, New York. The husband had recently became engaged by the Hanlon Brothers to play in “Phantasma” at $4o a week, and was to have left the city last week. William Hanlon came to court with the clown, who was paroled for examination this morning, Mr. Hanlon agreeing to see that he would be present.”

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    Gleaned: Major League Baseball All-Star Masks

    March 28, 2010 in Books, Sports | Permalink

    There's finally a way to resemble Gregg Jefferies, circa 1990.

    I gleaned these spectacular, completely ridiculous items last spring a block from where I live. How could my neighbors tire of such gems? It’s hard to fathom.

    In 1990, Gallery Books put out four volumes of paper masks that looked like famous baseball players. Each of the quartet of books represents a different theme: Big Hitters, Gold Glovers, Power Pitchers and Hot Rookies. I gleaned the latter two editions.

    The paper masks in Power Pitchers are of Nolan Ryan, Doc Gooden, Roger Clemens and Orel Hersheiser. Hot Rookies include: Gregg Jefferies, Ken Griffey Jr., Jim Abbott and Jerome Walton. Griffey is the only one still playing.

    Sure, you're handsome, but now you can be Jerome Walton handsome.

    The masks are very odd; you have to punch out the eyes and nose to put them on. It doesn’t seem that they were aimed at Halloween costume shoppers but rather just at strange nine-year-olds who wanted to resemble Chicago Cub Jerome Walton. You know Gallery Books doubted the intelligence of their customers since they included the helpful warning: “Do not wear masks while playing baseball.”

    See other Gleanings.

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    Recently Posted On New York City’s Craigslist

    March 26, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

    Cartoon rat in polo shirt. (Image by JSharp.)

    CRAFTY FOLK: HAVE A RAT INFESTATION?? TV SHOW WILL HELP FOR FREE! (BK NYC BX QUEENS SI)

    A new documentary science show is being created on rats in the 5 boroughs. Our accredited local pest control company 1st assesses your problem so that they can then get rid of your rats, and we follow this process of making your home or business rat-free.

    Correspondence will be kept strictly confidential AND we won’t even need to mention or show the name or location of your place.

    Excerpted: The Journalist And The Murderer

    March 26, 2010 in Books, Excerpts | Permalink

    Malcolm's book is ranked at #97 on the Modern Library's "100 Best Nonfiction Works of the 20th Century."

    In 1989, Janet Malcolm packed a mighty punch with a single sentence: “Every journalist who is not too stupid or not too full of himself knows what he does is morally indefensible.” That was the first line in her famous (and infamous) much-debated book, The Journalist and the Murderer, which began as a New Yorker article.

    In the essay, Malcolm examined the relationship of scribe Joe McGinniss and killer Jeffrey MacDonald, an Army officer and physician who murdered his pregnant wife and two daughters. McGinniss befriended the murderer and pretended to be sympathetic to him, though he thought MacDonald was guilty and was just collecting information for his eventual bestseller, Fatal Vision. Malcolm had other issues with McGinniss, but the central question was and is: Are journalists unethical for betraying their subjects’ faith in the pursuit of truth, even if those subjects are horrifyingly immoral?

    Malcolm’s ideas on the subject are very broad and she may have been exorcising her own demons (she can be a mean take-down artist), but the central question is worth investigating. Here’s an excerpt of the rest of the paragraph that immediately follows her infamous first sentence:

    “He is a kind of confidence man, preying on people’s vanity, ignorance or loneliness, gaining their trust and betraying them without remorse. Like the credulous widow who wakes up one day to find the charming young man and all her savings gone, so the consenting subject of a piece of nonfiction learns–when the article or book appears–his hard lesson. Journalists justify their treachery in various ways according to their temperaments. The more pompous talk about freedom of speech and ‘the public’s right to know’; the least talented talk about Art; the seemliest murmur about earning a living.”

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    1990s Rock: Pumpkins Were Smashed, Buttholes Were Surfed, Muses Were Thrown

    March 26, 2010 in Excerpts, Misc. | Permalink

    Milla Jovovich: "I love sabermetrics!" (Photo by Georges Biard.)

    Astute ESPN baseball writer and all-around smartass Keith Law has published an impressive list of his Top 200 Rock Songs of the 1990s. Of course you’ll disagree with some of the choices since you didn’t compile it yourself, but it will likely bring back some good memories. It convinced me that rock in that decade was better than I thought. An excerpt of a few of his rock selections:

    139. Milla – “Gentlemen Who Fell”
    That’s Milla Jovovich, who has had a hell of a career jumping from modeling to music to acting to fashion. This has to be one of the five weirdest songs on the list from her on-and-off falsetto to the hints of European folk music interspersed with riffs from an electric guitar.

    54. Smashing Pumpkins – “Cherub Rock”
    They had a great run for four albums, but nothing quite matched this song’s combination of intensity and sludge for me, like grunge but distinct enough that they couldn’t be lumped into the Seattle scene. The words never made a lick of sense to me, though.

    11. Butthole Surfers – “Who Was In My Room Last Night?”
    If you know the Surfers at all, it’s probably because of alternative-radio hit “Pepper,” or perhaps from Gibby Haynes’ guest spot on Ministry’s “Jesus Built My Hotrod,” but this is by far their best track, the best song ever written about a bad dream, with a guitar riff that could have come from Tony Iommi’s best work with Black Sabbath.

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    The Sporting Life: NFL Comes Up With A Lousy Overtime Fix

    March 25, 2010 in Sports | Permalink

    You'll be throwing picks for the Browns this year, Jake.

    I’m glad NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell wanted to try to fix the inequity of the league’s overtime rules, but I don’t like what he did. The NFL has modified overtime (just for the postseason) so that if a team wins a coin toss and kicks a field goal, the other team will now get a possession. I still prefer the Afflictor solution, which altered OT for the regular season as well as postseason. It was posted on December 29, 2009. An excerpt:

    The problem. In the current system, which started 35 years ago, a coin flip determines which team gets the ball first in OT. Since it’’s sudden death, that first possession is key and the team that gets the ball first wins more games by a few percentage points. Chance shouldn’t determine the first and potentially only possession.

    The changes I’d make. In order to favor merit over luck, there’d be no more coin toss. If there is a tie at the end of regulation, a 10-minute overtime period would begin from exactly where the action stands at the end of regulation. Even if one team scores, the ten minutes will be played to completion. If the game is tied at the end of this period, a horn will sound and a five-minute sudden-death period will commence from where the action stands. The first team that scores in this period wins. If neither team scores, the game is a tie. In playoffs, the five-minute sudden-death portion continues until there is a winner.

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    Strange, Small & Forgotten Films: Night Moves (1975)

    March 25, 2010 in Film | Permalink

    Arthur Penn’s 1975 crime thriller, Night Moves, isn’t Gene Hackman’s finest film of the ’70s, but that isn’t any sort of an an insult considering he starred in The Conversation, both French Connection movies and other decade-defining films.

    Hackman is Los Angeles private eye Harry Moesby, a former pro football player stuck in a broken marriage and dealing with a mid-life crisis, as he attempts to locate the missing daughter of a former Hollywood glamor girl. The case takes him to Key West where he meets an assortment of eccentric locals while untangling the knotty mystery–and running headlong into his own mortality.

    Hackman was the perfect actor for an America crawling out of the Vietnam morass: a tough guy gradually realizing the limits of his virility. He brilliantly depicts Moesby’s internal struggle, right down to the film’s wonderfully open-ended conclusion.•

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    Old Print Ads: Showgirl Laxatives (1901)

    March 25, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

    Just the name "Ru-Ter-Ba" is enough to loosen bowels.

    Long before Jamie Lee Curtis was overly concerned with the regularity of your bowel movements, the chorus girls of the wildly popular 1901 Florodora Broadway stage musical were lending their good names to Ru-Ter-Ba, some sort of herbal laxative.

    The Edwardian musical comedy, which had previously played in London, began its New York stint in 1900. The comedy and its sextet of show girls became a huge hit and opened avenues for product endorsements.

    Although the ad claims the medicine is good for “calming nervousness” and creating “vim, vigor and vitality,” the final line acknowledges that they are “pellets for constipation.” An Albany outfit called Dr. J. C. Brown Medical Company sold Ru-Ter-Ba for 25 cents a pop. An excerpt from he ad:

    “The necessary daily routine in the lives of all theatrical people is of the most exacting nature. Long weeks of study, rehearsals at inconvenient hours, the arbitrary, and oftentimes exasperating discipline of the manager, must all be endured before the artists can appear at a public performance and receive the encouragement from the plaudits of the audience.

    Then comes the wearing hours of work on the stage. Anxiety to win success, the heartache that follows even the slightest failure to win the good will of the audience, unavoidable exposure to draughts of air; all these contribute to a constant depletion of physical and nerve force.

    The necessity for sustaining and nourishing food at late hours, after the close of the performance, and the constant interruption to the normal hours for sleep, lay the foundation for Insomnia, Dyspepsia and Nervous Prostration…the hearty endorsement of ‘Ru-Ter-Ba’ as Nature’s Tonic, by the members of the Florodora Sextet, is the strongest possible proof of its merit.”

    See other Old Print Ads.

    Decoder: Mitt Romney’s Recent Remarks On “Larry King Live”

    March 25, 2010 in Humor, Politics | Permalink

    Larry King: I forgot my suspenders at Duke Zeibert's.

    Mitt Romney:
    Some elements in the bill are good and many are bad. And the Democrats want to talk about the couple of maraschino cherries that are on top of the pile of dirt. But let’s talk, also, about the pile of dirt.

    Decoder: Every time I look at you, Larry, I think of a pile of dirt. Usually it is being shoveled on top of a coffin.

    Mitt Romney: Health care is no longer going to be the purview of states and individuals and families.

    Decoder: Or the blood-sucking, money-grubbing health-care industry.

    Mitt Romney: What I am is a defender of the truth.

    Decoder: Like a Mormon Superman.

    Mitt Romney: [Sarah Palin] is an energetic, positive force in the Republican party, a leader in our party, and having a positive impact on bringing out a lot of folks that were in the silent majority.

    Decoder: They’re actually an annoyingly loud minority. But I like her because she isn’t actually going to run for President because then she’d be exposed as a fringe candidate, a Ron Paul in a dress.

    Mitt Romney: I think [the Tea Party] is a good thing. I think it’s a good thing to see people becoming more involved in the political process.

    Mitt Romney: Great hair and fungible politics.

    Decoder: I used to be a basically decent guy if no rocket scientist. But I am now prepared to say anything and pander to anyone to become President. I’ve flipped my opinions on abortion and health-care reform with the casual ease of someone with no integrity.

    Mitt Romney: But overall, the Tea Party movement is about reasonable men and women who are very concerned about the excessive growth of government.

    Decoder: Yes, they’re the reasonable bigots.

    Mitt Romney: I think my party’s basic core philosophy is much more attuned to [the Tea Party] than that of the Democratic party.

    Decoder: We don’t have any non-white members, either.

    Mitt Romney: [John McCain] is one of those guys that’s able to move things and make things happen.

    Decoder: Except if you need someone to produce a steady stream of urine. He can’t make that happen.

    Mitt Romney: I know some people say, gee, your Massachusetts health care plan isn’t conservative. I say oh, yes it is.

    Decoder: Oh, no it isn’t.

    Mitt Romney: [Running for President in 2012] is not a decision I have made yet.

    Decoder: Of course I’m running. Do your think I’d be willing to stare at your reptilian face without a payoff?

    Read other Decoders.

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    “He Ran His Railroad-Restaurant Business, Operating Along The Atchison, Topeka & Santa Fe Lines, Like A Military Operation”

    March 24, 2010 in Books, Excerpts, Urban Studies | Permalink

    "His waitresses lived in company housing and kept curfew."

    The Wall Street Journal’s Jonathan Eig has published a smart book review of Stephen Fried’s Appetite for America. The book examines how Fred Harvey’s chain of lunchrooms–America’s first national chain of any kind–which grew up around railroads in the Old West beginning in the 1870s, helped to tame that still-wild region of America. Harvey served surprisingly good food, offered a warm environment and imported an all-female waitstaff (“Harvey Girls“) to attract single men looking for brides.

    For a formerly poor New York immigrant pot scrubber to have accomplished so much, Harvey had to run a tight ship. An excerpt from the review about his strict business practices:

    “He ran his railroad-restaurant business, operating along the Atchison, Topeka & Santa Fe lines, like a military operation. His waitresses lived in company housing and kept curfew. On and off the job, they were expected to follow rules: ‘Have a Sincere Interest in People’ was the first on a list that Mr. Fried reprints. Another reminded employees that ‘Tact is an Asset and HONESTY is still a Virtue.’ Harvey’s decrees didn’t necessarily apply to Harvey: A newspaper in 1881 reported that when he fired the manager of a train-station restaurant in Deming, N.M., Harvey threw the man out the front door onto the train platform ‘and the dining room equipment followed after him in quick order.'”

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    “I Have Lately Made The Following Simple Machine, Which I Call ‘Long Arm'”

    March 24, 2010 in Books | Permalink

    The stuff Franklin invented–in addition to helping invent our country–is just wild. His most famous work with electricity and bifocals are obviously great. But you know when you go into a grocery store and you use that grabby thing to get stuff down from a tall shelf? That was Franklin. He called it the “Long Arm.” An excerpt about the gizmo from the “Description of an Instrument for Taking Down Books from Tall Shelves” section of The Autobiography of Ben Franklin:

    longhand22“Old men find it inconvenient to mount a ladder or steps for that purpose, their heads sometimes being subject to giddiness, and their activities, with the steadiness of their joints, being abated by age; besides the trouble of removing the steps every time  a book is wanted from a different part of their library.

    For the remedy, I have lately made the following simple machine, which I call Long Arm.

    The Arm is a stick of pine, an inch square and eight feet long, the Thumb and Finger, are two pieces of ash lath, an inch and half wide, and a quarter of an inch thick…To use this instrument, put one hand into the loop, and draw the sinew straight down the side of the arm; then enter the end of the finger between the book and the book you would take down…All new tools require some practice before we can become expert in the use of them. This requires very little.”

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    Recently Posted On New York City’s Craigslist

    March 24, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

    Craig Newmark: Honesty is the best policy. (Photo by Dave Sifry.)

    Contents of house/ “estate” (east islip)

    Not a huge or fancy house.

    BIG freezer, if you can move it you can buy it, locker type, 2.5’x4′

    living room set and end tables

    crappy kitchen table and 4 chairs

    nicer dining room table and chairs

    dumpy computer desk

    ok computer chair

    weed eater, electric

    gas barbque

    trundle bed

    lousy dressers

    Take a walk though, low ball us, leave happy.

    Afflictor Nation: A Warm Welcome To You, Belgium!

    March 24, 2010 in Misc. | Permalink

    Thanks for all the beer and fries and chocolate, Belgium.

    While the visits from the good people of Russia continue to accumulate (please explain this to me!), we had a visit yesterday from a country that had never before graced us with its presence: Belgium. I can’t say for sure which of your estimated 10,827,519 citizens visited our idiot site, Belgium, but I’m surprised that any of your people had a free second when you have so much great local culture. After all, Belgium is renowned for its distinguished politicians, wonderful museums, scenic towns, brilliant comedy and attractive locals. Well, now that you’ve been properly hazed, I can only say one thing: Welcome to Afflictor Nation, Belgium!

    Meet other Afflictor Nations.

    Great Photography: “Walker Evans With Students” (1974)

    March 24, 2010 in Excerpts, Photography | Permalink

    A mid-1930s photo by Evans of Alabama sharecropper Frank Tengle and his family singing hymns.

    I came across this interview that some students conducted with the legendary photographer Walker Evans in 1974. It’s from the archives of Image Magazine.

    Evans was a Farm Security Administration photographer who traveled the South during the Great Depression with James Agee; from that experience, they ultimately created Let Us Now Praise Famous Men. During this Q&A, he discussed politics, art, his aesthetic and technology. Evans died just a year after this interview took place.

    In one passage, Evans talked about teaching photography, but he might as well be talking about teaching in general. An excerpt:

    “Interviewer: What do you tell your students?

    Walker Evans: First of all, I tell them that art can’t be taught, but that it can be stimulated and a few barriers can be kicked down by a talented teacher, and an atmosphere can be created which is an opening into artistic action. But the thing itself is such a secret and so unapproachable. And you can’t put talent into anybody. I think you ought to say so right away and then try to do something else. And that’s what a university is for, what it should be–a place for stimulation and an exchange of ideas and a chance to give people the privilege of beginning to take some of the richness of general life that’s in everybody and has to be unlocked.”

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