Decoder: GOP Chairman Michael Steele’s Comments On Good Morning America About The Bondage Club Controversy

April 5, 2010 in Humor, Politics | Permalink

Michael Steele: Fit to be tied.

Michael Steele: We have begun to put controls in place on some of our spending.

Decoder: We’ve rounded up the Republicans who spent excessively on bondage clubs and placed them in handcuffs. They will duly be spanked.

Michael Steele: A lot of our major donors are used to a particular type of event; we’ve been scaling those back.

Decoder: No fur on the handcuffs anymore. That’ll save some change. And we’ve downsized to a cat o’ eight tails. It’s slightly cheaper that way.

Michael Steele: Those 71% of Republicans who don’t like me, well, I understand that.

Decoder: I told you I would unite the party.

Michael Steele: Barack Obama has a slimmer margin for error [because he’s black]. A lot of us do. That’s just the reality of it.

Decoder: You know all those times I accused Obama of playing the race card? I was playing the bullshit card.

Michael Steele: I’m a little bit more streetwise and I’ve rubbed some feathers the wrong way.

Decoder: And some of those feathers were supposed to be used to tickle the handcuffed people. I apologize for rubbing them.

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