Glenn Beck: Confident and stupid. (Photo by Gage Skidmore.)

Steve King: I have a fair amount of anxiety about what’s happening to our liberty in America this week, Glenn, but other than that, I’m healthy.

Decoder: Though it doesn’t matter if I’m healthy or not, because every member of congress has wonderful health care thanks to the taxpayers.

Steve King: If tens of thousands pour into [Washington D.C.] again, like they have numerous times before, pack this capital, jam this capital, surround this place, don’t let anybody in or anybody out, they will have to capitulate.

Decoder: Okay, I didn’t realize how illegal that would sound. It sounds like we’re taking hostages. I mean, I want it to be a cool kind of hostage-taking. You know, like Denzel Washington in that hospital movie, John Q. Okay, bad example.

Steve King: Drop your plows and your hammers and get on a plane or a bus or drive your pickup truck. Come into Washington DC, fill this city up.

Decoder: Leave behind your covered wagons, your gas lamps and your charwoman. Come forth upon a chariot and a mighty wind. Or just take the Acela. It has wi-fi now.

Steve King: They intend to vote on the sabbath, during lent, to take away the liberty that we have right from God.

Decoder: The God-given freedom to drop dead without health care.

Glenn Beck: You know, I sense we’re talking to Congressman Steve King from Iowa, one of the good guys.

Decoder: One of the good guys who made derisive comments about the IRS right after a terrorist rammed a plane into an IRS building, killing a U.S. military veteran. One of the good guys who complained when deportation of Haitian illegal aliens was temporarily halted in the days after the earthquake. One of the good guys who said that the “optics” of someone who looked like Barack Obama winning the Presidency would please terrorists.

Glenn Beck: They’re going to vote for this damn thing on a Sunday, which is the sabbath, during lent. You couldn’t have said it better. Here is a group of people that have so perverted our faith and our hope and our charity that it is an affront to God.

Decoder: Even Fox is embarrassed of me.

Steve King: I don’t know how they can hole up and go into their private meetings in these secret formerly smoke filled rooms and with the guards on the outside of the door and put these things up and keep it a secret.

Rep. Steve King: Rated tickle-worthy by Eric Massa.

Decoder: The entire health care bill is online and available to the public. Just put down your plow and hammer for a second and log on.

Glenn Beck: You’re not a dirt bag, are you?

Decoder: Because that’s my act and bad enough I have to share it with Hannity.

Glenn Beck: How have we never met? I don’t know, Steve King, how we never brushed up against each other.

Decoder: That sounded gay. I didn’t mean for it to sound gay.

Steve King: In Czechoslovakia and Prague, people came to the town square and they just stood there and they held up their keys and shook their keys and the rattle of those keys was the rattle of the breath of liberty emerging in Czechoslovakia and there were so many of them and they came in such great numbers that in the end the communist government fell and freedom prevailed in Czechoslovakia and it prevails today.

Decoder: I know that all of our current leaders were freely elected. I just don’t like when they turn out to be non-white or try to do things I don’t agree with. When that happens, there should be a Velvet Revolution.

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