"He is now confined to his home under medical treatment."

We’re plenty dumb right now, but people in the nineteenth century were even dumber, as the following story from the October 17, 1890 Brooklyn Daily Eagle about a boy with a wooden hoop and a neighbor with a bad temper proves. An excerpt:

“Justice Goetting this morning held Stephen Rose, of 76 Roebling Street, on $1,000 bail to answer on Thursday the charge of striking 13 year old John Murray, of 230 North Eighth Street on the head with a brick, and injuring him so badly that he is now confined to his home under medical treatment. His physician, Dr. A.A. Weber, is doubtful of his recovery. The complaint is brought by Miss Mary Murray, the boy’s sister. The defendant is about 61 years old. The residences of the two parties, it appears, adjoin, and it is alleged that Rose, annoyed by the boy breaking up a wooden hoop against the wooden fence of the yard, climbed on a ladder and dropped a brick on his head.”