"There was some difficulty about gas inflating the balloon...Professor Lowe had to 'make his own gas,' a feat he is very competent to perform."
Journalists at the Brooklyn Daily Eagle in the latter half of the 19th-century weren’t exactly bleeding hearts, but I don’t think I’ve ever come across a more insulting article than this story from the November 9, 1865 edition. It recounts a wedding ceremony in Central Park that revolved around the betrothed signing their marriage contract while taking a ride in a hot-air balloon. Apparently this was an outrage at the time and everyone involved needed to be mocked. An excerpt:
“The balloon wedding came off yesterday according to announcement, and appears to have been a rather comical affair. The bridegroom was a fat old widower of about 50, his bride a lady of 25. There was some difficulty about gas inflating the balloon, which delayed the ascension, and the public are informed that Professor Lowe had to ‘make his own gas,’ a feat he is very competent to perform. Owing to the deficiency of the gas, or the weight of the bridegroom, the regular bridesmaid (a stepdaughter of the bride) could not be taken up, and a lighter damsel had to be substituted.
The marriage ceremony was not performed up in the air, the officiating clergyman objecting to venture in the flesh so near Heaven. The marriage was done on terra firma, only the marriage contract was to be signed in mid-air. The balloon ascended from Central Park, in the presence of a group of gaping idlers, who amused themselves with making vulgar remarks and jokes at the expense of the bride and groom. The party descended in Yonkers in half-frozen condition. The affair would have been simply ridiculous were it not for the association with a holy ordinance which made the exhibition disgusting to every right-minded person; but as there were none such present on the occasion, excepting, perhaps, for reporters, no feelings may have been outraged.”
More Old Print Articles:
- Remarkable blind man overcomes odds. (1902)
- Italian singer goes crazy, gets deported. (1901)
- Haunted house in Hempstead. (1890)
- Eccentric “inventor” mocks a Brooklyn judge. (1885)
- Dandy flirts with burlesque star, gets ass kicked. (1897)
- Actress Lillie Langtry uses cocaine. (1889)
- Drunken Englishman starts fight with a pig in Brooklyn. (1885)
- Carrie Nation arrested on Coney Island. (1901)
- Pig “actors” escape from Brooklyn theater. (1902)
- Cobbler tormented by pranksters. (1885)
- British fishermen kill a merman. (1896)
- Hobos steal fine clothes from decent folk. (1895)
- General Robert E. Lee kisses pretty girls. (1891)
- Monkey trained to steal jewelry. (1895)
- Brooklyn tailor tears out rival’s whiskers. (1898)
- Public baths required for Brooklyn filthbags. (1897)
- Judge orders monkey arrested. (1882)
- Silent film legend John Bunny is remembered in Brooklyn. (1915)
- Artist John Frankenstein perishes in Brooklyn. (1881)
- Four-year-old artistic genius in San Francisco. (1896)
- Brooklyn woman paints her own house, everybody freaks. (1900)
- Profile of an old-time clown. (1896)
- Performing bears at Bay Shore. (1895)
- Circus Freak gets indigestion after swallowing metal objects. (1904)
- Hairy woman thrown through barbershop window, uninjured. (1897)
- Hunchback paramour has throat cut. (1877)
- Inflated a boy with air. (1900)
- Prisoner gives evil eye to jailer. (1900)
- Three-card monte man passes away. (1878)
- Monkey rides bicycle. (1897)
- Bears brawl in Central Park. (1902)
- Umbrella duels. (1895)
- Boiling eggs with electricity. (1890)
- Billy goat guards recluse. (1900)
- Kissing bandit captured. (1892)
- A maniac gymnast. (1877)
- Brooklyn judge encounters sea monsters in his bathroom. (1902)
- Man finds severed human head, throws head back into creek. (1897)
- Brooklyn geezer tries to shoot noisy dogs. (1896)
- Hoaxer pretends to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel. (1889)
- Manhattan madman goes on rampage. (1890)
- Fisticuffs at a male beauty pageant. (1893)
- Tough girl breaks detective’s nose. (1898)
- George Francis Train loses his mind. (1888)
- Organ grinder has monkey kidnapped. (1899)
- Human vampire behaves poorly. (1892)