Pontius Pilate

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Old Print Article: “Judge Massey Has An Interview With Pontius Pilate,” Brooklyn Daily Eagle (1885)

September 22, 2010 in Old Print Articles, Urban Studies | Permalink

"Now here is a patent labor saving toothpick." (Image by HuttyMcphoo.)

It was in the June 18, 1885 edition of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle that an article ran about a judge who was subjected to a man who was seemingly arrested for being eccentric, poor and a smartass. “Pontius Pilate,” as the man called himself, had fun with the judge for a while. An excerpt:

“Considerable commotion was created in Judge Massey’s court room this morning by the entrance of Officer Morris and a prisoner who was struggling in a violent manner and attempting to bite his captor. He was put into a cool cell and in about an hour was ready for trial.

‘What was this man doing?’ asked the Judge.

‘He had collected a crowd around him on Butler street, and was acting in a manner which led me to believe that he was either intoxicated or insane,’ replied the officer. ‘He was standing on an ash barrel, which he had turned bottom up, and held an open umbrella above his head. He was bidding the people good bye, and said he was going straight up to heaven. He resisted when I arrested him, saying that he had an appointment with the Archangel Gabriel for 11:30 sharp, and that if I interfered with him I would hear of it later.’

‘What is your name?’ asked the Judge, addressing the prisoner.

‘Pontius Pilate,’ he calmly replied, as he picked cinder out of the lining of his hat.

‘Have you any home?’

‘Have the birds of the air any home?’ replied Pontius, sarcastically.

‘Do anything for a living?’

‘I am an inventor, Judge, but capitalists frown on men and refuse me help. Now here is a patent labor saving toothpick,’ continued the prisoner, presenting a three jointed piece of pipe about six inches long. ‘It would be a boon to humanity if I had a few dollars to introduce it. I am also the author of a theological work entitled The Spiritual Snuff Box to Make Souls Sneeze with Devotion, but the publishers won’t touch it.

‘I will turn you over to the Commisioners of Charities and you can read your manuscript to them,’ said the Judge, wearily, as he looked over the papers in the next case.”

Judge Judy: I once found a hamburger guilty of treason. (Image by Susan Roberts.)

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