Taking a quick break from creeping out Siri, John Malkovich was being–who else?–John Malkovich during an Ask Me Anything on Reddit. A few exchanges follow.

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Question:

What is the worst script you have ever read? 

John Malkovich:

i was given a script in france, by a seemingly rather disturbed young man. let’s just say it was not good. also, one night, a woman came in to our yard in france around 2:00 am. i was outside on the phone talking to my producing partners in los angeles. she gave me a script called elle tue (she kills!) which was about the lead character killing a movie star. it was written like it had been done with a butcher knife in red ink. also, it wasn’t very good.

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Question: 

What are your thoughts on space travel? Would you like to go into space?

John Malkovich:

yes, i suppose i would. but don’t you have to go to the bathroom in your space suit and everything? i’m just not sure i could do that.

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Question: 

Have you spoken Bernard Madoff since 2008? What would you like to say to him if you had the chance?

John Malkovich:

no, i only met mr. madoff once, many years ago. he seemed very pleasant. but, you know, i don’t think i’d have much to impart. for me, in all honesty, it was a good life lesson. and it also must be said that the vast majority of in the world live with nothing and with the hope of nothing their entire lives. i was lucky, as i’ve been my entire life. i could go back to work and make my way in the world.

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Question:

Stanislavski or Brecht?

John Malkovich:

brecht. he was a miserable human being, but quite smart about theatre.

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 Question:

Hi John. Say I were to see you in public, would you rather I, or anyone for that matter, pretend I didn’t know who you are or would you rather have a conversation (without a camera shoved at you of course)?

John Malkovich:

normally quite happy to have a conversation. or to be completely ignored.

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Question:

I once had a friend who, after watching Being John Malkovich, was thoroughly convinced you were a fictional character. I don’t really have a question, just wanted to share! Thanks for all of your amazing work; I am a big fan. 

John Malkovich:

i kind of am a fictional character….•

I’m urinating right now.