Blood everywhere. (Image by Greg Hernandez.)

It’s been reported elsewhere that the Michael Scott character is exiting from The Office at the end of this season, but we’ve learned exclusively that his departure will be as the result of a particularly brutal murder. The shocking crime is to occur at the hands of Meredith, Dunder-Mifflin’s troubled Supplier Relations representative, whose deeply rooted personal problems have long been a source of mirth.

In the episode, Michael will be collecting his personal effects at approximately five in the afternoon, preparing to head home to his condo after another day at the Scranton branch when he is accosted by a knife-wielding Meredith, who is no longer able to cover up her pain with alcoholism and promiscuity. Having felt the sting once too often of Michael’s cruel taunts about her physical unattractiveness, Meredith lunges at him and can’t stop stabbing until her mania subsides minutes later. The warehouse guys have their hands full trying to clean up the mess.

No man will harm me again. (Image by Angela George.)

Although Pennsylvania maintains the death penalty, very few murderers are executed, so it’s possible Meredith will escape lethal injection. She had displayed the type of aberrant behavior in regards to alcohol and sex that people engage in to try to mollify acute suffering. This pattern of behavior most likely resulted from some trauma or abuse that occurred in childhood, and no one should have been making light of it.

In a subplot, smirking prankster Jim decides to use the situation to irk thick-headed rival Dwight, placing Michael’s decapitated head on his desk and challenging his co-worker to defeat it in a staring contest. “Fact,” says Dwight, “If you put pennies on my eyes, I will simply blink and knock them off whereas a disembodied head will not be able to do so.” Dwight eventually takes the bait, but office tight-ass Angela becomes irritated with Jim, telling him that “it’s hard enough working here after the slaying and you keep making it harder.” That’s what she said.