You better keep me away from the time machine. (Image by Brett Weinstein.)

“Magistrate’s Ire Aroused,” declares the sub-heading of this article from the December 1, 1902 issue of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle. It seems that several days before he turned 16, a boy married a bride several years his senior and then saw fit to abandon her. The judge wasn’t a fan of these May-December relationships, especially when the groom was a minor. There may have been steam shooting out of his ears during the hearing. An excerpt:

“‘There should be some way of punishing ministers who marry children,’ said Magistrate Furlong, in the Myrtle avenue court yesterday, when Mrs. Tessie Mich Gordon, who says she is 18 years old, caused her 16 year old boy husband, James C. Gordon of 262 Fifteenth street, to be arraigned on a charge of abandonment.

The Magistarte’s face was flushed, and it was obvious he was not in favor of early marriages–at least, early marriages, of that kind. Young Gordon, the groom, who is a mere stripling, both in years and in size, and who has not even the suspicion of a mustache, stood in front of the judge in a semi-dazed way, as if he were not thoroughly conscious of the important step which he had taken in life. His bride, whom he married less than three months ago, was a Miss Tessie Mich, who gives her age at 18, but is thought to be two years older, is a pretty blond, with bright expressive eyes and a rich head of hair falling in innumerable ringlets. She is petite in figure.

When Court Officer William J. Wyse arrested young Gordon at his father’s house, 262 Fifteenth street, on Saturday night, the boy was at supper, with other members of his family.

‘I have seen a great many strange things over the course of my career on the police force,’ said Oficer Wyse, ‘but I can tell you I was surprised on finding out that the man I was in search of on a charge of abandonment was only a boy.'”