German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche: "God is dead and Afflictor is stupid." (Image by Hanns Olde.)

How great that our little Brooklyn website has continued its international expansion by ringing up its first visitor from Germany. It looked for a while like there was a wall between us, Germany, but then it came tumbling down and now we’re together at last. But who among you has so much free time on their hands that they can waste precious moments browsing our idiot website? Was it you, Rammstein lead singer, Till Lindemann, with your crotch o’ fire? Was it you, Chancellor Angela Merkel, with your generous cleavage? Was it you, 18th-century philosopher Immanuel Kant, with your elongated forehead? Well, whoever it was, we extend warm greetings to the whole of Germany. Welcome to Afflictor Nation!