A lot of people tell me that I remind them of a cat, and that is NOT a compliment. Cats are horrible and I’m apparently not much better. But they get away with it all because they’re so cute and furry.

Unfortunately, free-ranging domestic cats are among the biggest murderers on the planet, killing billions of birds and millions of mammals each year, seriously damaging biodiversity. Perhaps it would be a good idea if it was illegal to let house cats roam and hunt at will, but Hannah Waters at Scientific American has a suggestion that is more Swiftian, though not intended as satire: Let’s humanely kill many of the feline population. I’m pretty sure that it will never happen, though I am completely sure that I’m glad I’m not Hannah Walters. From the essay:

“The obvious answer then is that, if we value biodiversity and wildlife and can manage to overcome our predilection for cute cat faces over cute bird faces, cat populations should be controlled through humane killing, just like many other invasive species.

But the funny thing is that no one suggests that. In compulsively researching this blog post, I read many papers showing that trap-neuter-release doesn’t work, or studies showing that, in computer models, euthanasia reduces cat populations more effectively than trap-neuter-release. But then in their concluding paragraphs, after providing evidence that current methods aren’t working, the action steps proposed by the authors are: (1) all pets should be neutered and (2) owners should be be better educated so they don’t abandon their cats.

What??

Look, I’m as sentimental as the next person. (I cried for the entirety of Les Miserables.) I love my cat and she gives my life meaning. But I also can admit that the science is staring us in the face. We can’t bear to talk about euthanizing cats because they are so friggin’ cute–but, if we’re honest with ourselves, the best solution to this problem is to kill cats. Kill them, with their cute little faces, their soft fur and their snuggles. Some of the cats need to be dead.”

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“Sounds like a male marking its territory”: