“Um, I-ee-ug-crrrr-ssssk.”

Monkeys look and act enough like humans so we usually don’t kill and eat them. One exceedingly human-ish primate was Consul, a chimpanzee promoted by the original William Morris Agency, who dazzled New Yorkers more than a century ago with his ability to act world-weary and chain-smoke. From an article in the June 21, 1909 New York Times:

Dressed in a sailor suit with patent leather shoes on his feet and his sailor cap set flat aback with a slight list over his port ear, Consul, the monkey, which is to be the newest star of the vaudeville stage, received reporters and photographers yesterday on the sun deck of the incoming North German Lloyd liner George Washington. He is an intelligent-looking monkey, about three feet in height when he stands erect. He came originally from Rhodesia, Southeast Africa.

Ivan Drowski, his manager, who has brought the chimpanzee over under contract to the William Morris vaudeville syndicate, said that Consul was not at all shy, but liked attention. He was fond of children, but did not like them to play tricks on him. Drowski spoke to Consul in French, and the chimpanzee responded with guttural sounds that seemed to be understood by his manager.

Here is a specimen of the dialogue which ensued when the reporters asked Consul questions through his interpreter:

“How do you like New York, Consul?” a reporter asked.

When it had been put in French by Drowski the monkey looked at the crowd and said something that sounded like: “Um, I-ee-ug-crrrr-ssssk.”

According to Drowski, what Consul said meant, “Have any of you got a cigarette holder?”

An amber holder was produced by a photographer and handed out to Consul, who put it in his mouth.

To the next question, “Do you like wearing clothes?” the chimpanzee replied, “garrrrr-egre-grummm-goora-umn.” This was translated by Drowksi to mean: “Have any of you got a cigarette, I want to smoke.” Consul was promptly handed a box of Egyptian cigarettes. He selected one carefully, put it in the tube and then said: “Rrr-rag-bwa-gu-gu-.” This meant “give me a match.” He got one at once. “Do you admire the tall building?” the monkey was asked.

Lighting the cigarette Consul leaned carelessly on his hand, blew the smoke lazily through his nose and said something that sounded like ‘Jilde jallou grugru,’ which Drowski said was the equivalent of the American phrase, ‘You make me tired.’

Then his manager took Consul off the rail, where he had been sitting, and put him on the deck, where he tickled the monkey under the arms until he laughed out loud like a schoolboy and turned somersaults to show his joy. William Morris, who was also on the liner, said that Consul had played shuffleboard with his little boy on the awning deck, but they had to be careful, as he was so fond of going up the rigging.

Once, it is said, Consul climbed up to the crow’s nest and played with the lookout man.

During the trip Consul dressed for dinner and had his meals served at a small table with his manager. In the evenings he held receptions, to which the passengers were invited. Apparently he did not like brass bands, and took delight in throwing brazil nuts at the trombone player. Consul is insured for $100,000, and will make his appearance to the New York public at the opening of the roof garden of the American Theatre on July 4.•