Curvature is completely normal. (Image by David Wilmot.)

Dear Mr. Anthony Litner,

While all the men in the Afflictor offices appreciated your recent spam email that promised we could have “stronger bone-ons” if we purchased items from you online store, we’re happy to report that our “bone-ons” are plenty strong already. While we are indeed “sick and tired of being sick and tired” as the body of your email suggests, our sickness and tiredness have thus far had no debilitating effect on the potency of our “bone-ons.” We assume a lifetime of jogging and not smoking or abusing alcohol and drugs has allowed for our continued “bone-on” strength. To sum up: Your concern for our “bone-ons” is appreciated, Mr. Litner, but unnecessary. Please be advised that if any “bone-on” issues should arise (so to speak) in the future, you will be the first to know.

Sincerely,

Afflictor Office