"Everywhere."
ROACH EXTERMINATOR NEEDED ASAP – $50 (Harlem / Morningside)
We just moved into a new location&the disgusting roaches are everywhere. We need someone who can guarantee results!!
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Seymour Brandwein was apparently a Maryland economist who traveled around the country in the '50s and '60's and sent postcards with state maps home to his son, Billy. This card is from Indiana.
Feb. 26, 1959
Hi–
I’m speaking at Notre Dame tomorrow here in South Bend. They have snow along the streets here which fell back in mid-January, so much that it still hasn’t melted! By the way I saw the Cuban bearded revolutionaries who are on a good-will tour to N.Y. and Washington, at National Airport,
Daddy
I buy these postcards at a Brooklyn flea market.
"Yep, their the real thing, actual bags to throw up in."
Box of about 700 barf bags – $35 (UWS, Manhattan)
Selling a box of about 700 white, plain barf bags. Yep, their the real thing, actual bags to throw up in. Their left over from a publicity gig I did for a client.
It’s just one box and can be carried by hand, unless you’re wicked weak. Worth about $100, so selling at $35 for a quick sale.
You can print labels and stick them on the bags to use for a publicity stunt in Times Square, sell them at the new James Franco movie, use them for your kids’ lunches (especially if your sanwhiches normally make them ill) or just keep them in your living room and use them whenever the govt. does something stupid that makes you wanna throw up – now you can. Should get you through 2012 elections.
Seriously, though, let me know if you’re interested. Thanks and all the best for the holidays!
Tags: James Franco
"Would have kept Luke warm while he spent a freezing night on Hoth." (Image by Alan Light.)
MENS XL LIMITED EDITION NORTH FACE – $150 (NORTH JERSEY)
- Seam sealed
- Detachable faux fur trim
- Two patch-on chest pockets
- Bicep pocket
About this product:
This down-insulated, waterproof jacket stays true to The North Face® tradition with innovative attributes, and encompasses a detachable faux fur trim on the hood for added protection and style. With multiple pockets, this durable jacket is ideal wear on cold weather outings; and would have kept Luke warm while he spent a freezing night on Hoth without having to sleep inside that putrid Tauntaun carcass.
On front of card: "Restoration of Armored Dinosaur, U.S. National Museum, Smithsonian Institution."
March 10, 1959
Hi Mommy:
We saw a big, big elephant here this morning. Daddy also took me to see birds and animals after he opened his locked car.
Billy
Tags: Billy Brandwein, Mrs. Ethel Brandwein, Seymour Brandwein
Please buy my toenail collection.
Some search engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:
Afflictor: Forcing orangutans to ponder their dubious life decisions since 2009. (Image by Nonie.)
- New DVD: Exit Through the Gift Shop.
- Strange, Small & Forgotten Films: Stay Hungry (1976).
- Featured Videos: First computer mouse demo (1968) + Intro of the push-button phone (1962) + A board game called Ball Buster (1975) + The real Dog Day Afternoon footage (1972) + Horror movie about cats (1977) + Magnavox Odyssey game console (1973) + Computer Sketchpad demo (1964).
- Old Print Articles: Delight Beecher celebrates her 100th birthday (1900) + Wronged widow thrashes train executives (1889) + Millionaire cuckolded by “Buffalo Bill” Cody (1898/1908).
- Recently Posted on NYC’s Craigslist: Freeport garbage picker hopes to strike it rich + Candy Darling’s childhood stickball cap + Stressed-out youth wants free golf clubs + Autographed celebrity hat for $400 + Need human and animal skeletons + “Creepslist” needs a sense of decency and respect.
- Arthur C. Clarke’s predictions for the 21st century.
- A.J. Liebling reveals Brooklyn’s illicit 1880s sporting world.
- President Lincoln watches John Wilkes Booth act.
- Marshall McLuhan comments on Facebook (in 1967).
- Nikola Tesla fails to report for jury duty in 1902.
- Classic Photographs: Wall Street panic (1907) + Ben Hogan’s ticker-tape parade (1953).
- Pet monkey washes dishes for Queens woman in 1949.
- Almost everyone in Colonial America was very drunk.
- How to turn freeways into urban power plants.
- Chinese Internet addicts get electroshock treatments.
- Daniel Polevuy’s amazing anachronistic images.
- Edward Albee really hates technology.
- Neurological disease that obliterates fear.
- “Ideas Entrepreneurs” help Target sell kitchenware to kids.
- Tasmanian museum features rotting beef and excrement.
- Miscellaneous Media: Postcard for Billy Brandwein In Chevy Chase, Maryland (1962) + Postcard for Edna Mae Williams in Charleston, West Virginia (1941).
- This week’s Afflictor keyphrase searches.
"Bunch of morons!"
A sense of decencency and respect (Midtown West)
What is it about Creepslist that makes people think it is okay to forgo all manners and common decency towards one another? This is NOT the .99 cent store. Most people here are trying to sell items at what they have deemed a fair price. If you do not like the offering or asking price, simply move on. It is not your business.
Is your life so empty and meaningless that you peruse CL seeking out listings for sale that you can not afford or “think”, though I doubt your capable of logical thought, the price is unreasonable. Then you feel the need to write to total strangers, mean, horrible things, you would never say to their face. Because lets face it, you are a coward with just an old fashioned computer in your mothers basement. If you were not such a loser you would do what most of us do and simply move on to other listings.
It baffles me, you take the time to write hateful, mean e-mails to total strangers who are simply trying to sell something. You do not know us. You have not seen the item in person, yet you judge so harshly.
For those of you who respond with offers of half for less than half the asking price….are you serious? If we thought if was only worth half, we’d be asking that. Where do you think you are, a bazaar or flea market in Morocco? This is NYC moron.
If you do not like a listing…move on. Do you think your pea brain, pathetic, hateful e-mails do anyone any good or is that the point. Are you just so mean spirited that writing mean e-mails to strangers gives you pleasure? We just laugh at you. We don’t even pity you because you are so beneath morality and decency it’s not worth it.
Lastly, just because you are writing “e-mails” does not mean basic grammar in communication is void. A salutation is usually a proper beginning, then a comma, usually a space or two, then try capital letter for the beginning of sentences (this is first grade stuff by the way), after the “body” and simple “Thank you”, or just your name if it’s all too much.
Bunch of morons!
Yes, I know my spelling and grammar here probably has some mistakes…no need to point that out, the is written hastily and I expect I’ve made some errors.
"I'm too 'yough' and too stressed out."
golf clubs..wanted – $1
hello there. i’m looking for a golf club set with bag for free. i want to take up golf to bring down my blood pressure. i’m too yough and too stressed out. please help…..
“Good quality.” (Image by Sklmsta.)
HUMAN SKELETON (Bushwick)
Im looking for good quality human skeletons, also animal skeletons. Contact email. Thanks!
On 1-cent stamp on reverse side: "United States of America, Industry & Agriculture for Defense."
Dear Edna,
Stayed in sitting room all day yesterday on sofa — not good last night– ok this morning.
Oh I do want to get out & back to work–but the bosses say soon.
Herman came Tuesday. Went home Sat. Just got your card–write me often.
Dad
Tags: Edna Mae Williams
"Stickball cap of Warhol Superstar Candy Darling."
WARHOL MEMORABILIA – $20000
“Stickball cap of Warhol Superstar CANDY DARLING. Yellow in color, dated 1956 and reads” LONG ISLAND STICKBALL” and has “JIMMY SLATTERY” written on the underside of the bill. $20,000 firm or will consider something of equal non-cash value.
$100 bill autographed by Warhol Superstar HOLLY WOODLAWN. Has a still from the Warhol produced film “TRASH” of Holly collaged over Ben Franklin and a BRIGHT RED LIPSTICK KISS by Holly. $8,000 firm or will consider something of equal non-cash value.”
Tags: Andy Warhol, Candy Darling, Holly Woodlawn
If you tell Jonathan Franzen to sign your book, "Dear Oprah," he has no choice but to do it. You fucking deal with it, Franzen! (Image by David Shankbone.)
I want to thank all of you who’ve generously supported the Mekons documentary that is being made by my old boss Joe Angio. His Kickstarter campaign has been a great success, and he’s raised enough money to begin the editing process in earnest. Now with just four days to go in the fundraising, every dollar he makes brings him closer to being able to completely finish the movie.
My guess is some Afflictor readers might like books more than music or film, so I wanted to point out that some of the writers who are featured in the doc have contributed autographed books that can be yours for a donation. Still available, for instance, are four copies of Freedom by Jonathan Franzen, who will personalize the inscription to the pledger. (Freedom, by the way, was just chosen by the New York Times as one of the “10 Best Books of 2010.”) Check the Rewards list on the right-hand column of the Kickstarter page to get a nice holiday gift for a loved one (or yourself). And thanks again for helping a great project.
••••••••••
The original post from November 8, 2010:
Bleg: Help Complete A Movie About The Mekons
You know I don’t bleg for me, but I am willing to bleg for a good cause or a good project. One such project is a documentary about the rock group the Mekons that is currently being made by Joe Angio, a former boss of mine and a fine filmmaker. He has finished shooting just about all the material and needs some money to begin the editing process. You can give by visiting his kickstarter site. But some questions you may want answered before you give:
Who are the Mekons?
An incredible and incredibly influential band that has stood the test of time for more than three decades, maintained integrity and still rocks on.
Who is the director?
Joe Angio is the talented filmmaker who made the smart and entertaining film, How to Eat Your Watermelon in White Company (and Enjoy It), a documentary about Melvin Van Peebles. The film was critically acclaimed and called “an energetic and admiring biography” by the New York Times‘ A.O. Scott, who has read books and shit.
Should I give money if I like the director Joe Angio?
Yes, though I question your taste in people.
Should I give money if I hate the director Joe Angio?
Definitely. There’s no better way to stab someone in the back than to encourage that person to be an independent filmmaker. It’s an awful and unglamorous life. If you really want to twist the blade, encourage that person to be a documentarian. There’s no money in it, and it’s endless work. These are the kind of filmmakers who actually have to pay for their cocaine. Meanwhile, Brett Ratner dates Maggie Q. Unfair.
Why don’t the Mekons hold a benefit concert to raise funds?
They’re currently drunk, every last Mekon. It’s rock and roll.
Have any celebrities contributed to the cause so far?
Indeed they have!
Are there rewards?
Yes, there are. Go to kickstarter and see all the cool stuff you can get for a modest donation. You can probably resell most of it on eBay for at least twice what you pay for it. (Joe Angio is a filmmaker, not an accountant.)
Will my donation be used responsibly?
All contributions will go to editing this film and making it great. Every penny will be squeezed until Abraham Lincoln’s head wounds reopen.
Seriously, it’s a great project, so if you love the Mekons or independent film or people doing something creative because it’s good thing to do, please give.
And look for my documentary about Ke$ha in 2014. It will $uck.
Tags: Joe Angio, Jonathan Franzen, Oprah Winfrey
"$400." (Image by Gage Skidmore.)
Celebrity signed hat – $400 (Slate hill)
I have a signed hat from the celebrity apprentice television show. It’s signed by Lennex Lewis, Tito Ortiz, “big pussy” from the sopranos, Steven Baldwin, and bob saget.
Tags: Bob Saget, Lennox Lewis, Stephen Baldwin, Tito Ortiz, Vincent Pastore
"Greetings from Missouri."
August 9, 1962
Bill
This card is being mailed from a town which has my name–Seymour. If we’re lucky, the postmark will show it clearly. It is being mailed for me by the head of a school in a town near it. He is at the economic workshop I’m attending.
Dad
Tags: Bill Brandwein, Seymour Brandwein
William Faulkner: novelist, whoremonger. (Image by Carl van Vechten.)
Some search engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:
Afflictor: Getting positive feedback from the people since 2009. (Image by Peter van der Sluijs.)
- Shocker: Sarah Palin murders, effs a caribou.
- Classic DVDs: Westworld (1973) + Slacker (1991).
- Old Print Articles: One of Custer’s men gets hanged in Utica (1888) + Civil War veteran brained by brother-in-law (1870) + Young man in costume arrested at burlesque show (1900).
- Featured Video: Airline hostesses in hot pants (1972) + First credit card swiping machines (1977) + Betamax Video Recorder commercial (1978) + Teenage Mother trailer (1967) + The Hippie Temptation (1967) + 2010 World Cup of Pen Spinning.
- Recently Posted on NYC’s Craigslist: Need education on cutilingus + Smartass selling bear rug + Coffin for sale, missing little piece on top + Looking for someone to tape Howard Stern show on cassette + Want to photograph stuffed animals, human teeth, dentures + 100-year-old bug collection makes a great gift.
- John Lennon looks at the future right before his murder.
- Steve Jobs analyzes the intersection of technology and education.
- Miscellaneous Media: Riverboat ticket (1970s).
- Classic Photos: Estée Lauder conducts business (1966) + Pro-Nazi parade in Manhattan (1939).
- Listeria: Top 10 confidence games of 1940.
- The origin of the term “con man.”
- Gleaned: A Sense of the Mysterious (2006).
- And then The Godfather faded into obscurity.
- Dr. Steven J. Hatfill did not commit the anthrax attacks.
- Girl with rare neurological disorder sleeps for ten days at a time.
- Fishing for dead bodies in the Yellow River is lucrative.
- Ann Calvello was the raucous queen of the roller derby.
- E. Coli bacteria used to power microcomputers.
- Joseph Boruwlaski was the last of the court dwarfs.
- Frank Recchia builds miniature cities from broken motherboards.
- This week’s Afflictor keyphrase searches.
"Makes a great unusual gift." (Image by Joe Mabel.)
antique 100yr old taxidermy bug collection – $250 (Bellrose)
Makes a great unusual gift in original case circa 1900s an extensive collection of large beetles and bugs. Very interesting.
"I have the ultimate respect for women."
Education on cutilingus (Nyc)
Hi I a male in my early forties, at present I am on a sexual journey to better understand woman and what turns them on, esp. orally. I thought I was quite educated on the subject, but I am not ashamed to say that I have a lot to learn.
When I tried to talk to women frankly, about what turns them on or asked for instructions on how to do a certain thing. I never felt like I was getting a straight answer, and unfortunately I’m afraid I’ve done the same thing to women when they have asked me similar questions. I assume we all wanted to be nice and was afraid that any advice or critique will hurt the others feelings.
A female friend of mine said, that a lot of what she learned about pleasing men came from knowledge that her gay male friends shared with her.
So I am looking for women who are bi or gay (if straight, one who really knows her body) but is comfortable sharing trade secrets, mostly oral.
Note: I do not want sex from you but an education. I am even open to a group of your female friends who would not mind sharing their pleasure zones and oral details.
I believe their many possibilities for pleasure besides intercourse. I have the ultimate respect for women. My goal is to get useful information and tips on how women think about sex.
The barter: can be a massage, financial advice, lite home repair or anything you thing is a reasonable trade.
"I am looking for taxidermy animals or things of the like." (Image by Flominator.)
Taxidermy Animals For Photography
I am a photographer looking to make work with interesting objects. I am looking for taxidermy animals or things of the like. I am also looking for animal bones, furs, etc. I am also looking for human teeth or dentures.
I am located in the east village and can come to you or meet you somewhere.
Objects will of course be returned in the condition they were received. Your help will be greatly appreciated!
"I am looking for taxidermy animals or things of the like."
Animal Props for Photography
I am a photographer looking to make work with interesting objects. I am looking for taxidermy animals or things of the like. I am also looking for animal bones, furs, etc. I am also looking for human teeth or dentures.
I am located in the east village and can come to you or meet you somewhere.
Objects will of course be returned in the condition they were received. Your help will be greatly appreciated!
"Missing little piece on top." (Image by Oxyman.)
WOODEN COFFIN – $750 (CROWN HEIGHTS)
Wooden coffin. Good condition. Missing little piece on top. A carpenter can easerly make up the missing piece. Measurements are 7FT- Lx2FT -Wx2FT- H.
Riverboat slogan: "Home of the Big Name Bands."
The Riverboat was a formerly famous New York City nightclub that’s name was an homage to Mark Twain. It was housed in the Empire State Building and was a big deal during the 1960s and 1970s, when Lüchows was still legendary and the Auto-Pub was on the radar. The ticket stub bears the Riverboat’s catchphrase: “Home of the Big Name Bands.”
The club’s fortunes had flagged by the ’60s but were revived by Latvian immigrant restaurateur Jan Mitchell, who brought in amazing acts like Count Basie. Mitchell was known for rescuing faded franchises and had previously reinvigorated Lüchows and Longchamps. He ultimately sold his holdings to the Riese Organization in 1967. That company’s taste in music wasn’t quite as good, as you can see in this excerpt about the Riverboat from the April 19, 1976 New York magazine:
“Beginning next Monday, the Riverboat, New York’s most opulent nightclub (in the Empire State Building) is commencing an ambitious 10 week presentation of the great names that have been away from New York too long.
Aside to the current ‘Tie & Jackets Set’ who were dubbed ‘hippies’ or ‘Rock freaks’ in the ’60s–Remember Mickey Dolenz of the Monkees, Mary Wells, Gary Lewis & the Playboys, Sam Sham & the Pharaohs?? They’ll all appear at the Riverboat in sequence. No increase in the incredible Riverboat ‘Nite on the Town’ deal of All You Can Drink, Steak, Dancing, plus a concert by these legendary Golden Oldies greats. It’s only $11.95 plus $2.50 music charge for the whole deal. And just in time for Prom season. Call Miss Foy at the Riverboat 736-6210 for the details.”
Tags: Count Basie, Gary Lewis, Jan Mitchell, Mary Wells, Mickey Dolenz, Miss Foy
"I use an old fashioned cassette player." (Image by GottesmanJ.)
need someone to tape show for me (Midtown)
I need someone to tape the Howard Stern show for me!! My cassette player broke a month ago and I am missing all of these shows….
I use an old fashioned cassette player, so I need them taped from Satelitte Sirius on cassettes. the commercials and all, I’m not fussy, but I just want the whole show.
If you use hour cassettes which i can send you, it’s pretty easy, come back once and hour and turn the tape over….. the price is negotiable, I’ll talk to you about that.
Tags: Howard Stern
Before: horrifying.
The great Letters of Note site has published 1860 correspondence between an 11-uear-olf girl and Abraham Lincoln in which the lass encourgaed the politician to grwo a beard if he ever hoped to be President. He wasn’t so sure initally but eventually took her sage advice.
••••••••••
Hon A B Lincoln
Dear Sir
My father has just home from the fair and brought home your picture and Mr. Hamlin’s. I am a little girl only 11 years old, but want you should be President of the United States very much so I hope you wont think me very bold to write to such a great man as you are. Have you any little girls about as large as I am if so give them my love and tell her to write to me if you cannot answer this letter. I have got 4 brothers and part of them will vote for you any way and if you let your whiskers grow I will try and get the rest of them to vote for you you would look a great deal better for your face is so thin. All the ladies like whiskers and they would tease their husbands to vote for you and then you would be President. My father is going to vote for you and if I was a man I would vote for you to but I will try to get every one to vote for you that I can I think that rail fence around your picture makes it look very pretty I have got a little baby sister she is nine weeks old and is just as cunning as can be. When you direct your letter direct to Grace Bedell Westfield Chautauqua County New York.
I must not write any more answer this letter right off Good bye
Grace Bedell
••••••••••
Springfield, Ill. Oct 19, 1860
Miss Grace Bedell
My dear little Miss
Your very agreeable letter of the 15th is received—
I regret the necessity of saying I have no daughters— I have three sons— one seventeen, one nine, and one seven years of age— They, with their mother, constitute my whole family—
As to the whiskers, having never worn any, do you not think people would call it a piece of silly affectation if I were to begin it now?
Your very sincere well wisher
A. Lincoln
After: hunky.
Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Grace Bedell