Misc.

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10 search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:

  1. lawrence wright scientology
  2. alex gibney scientology
  3. astronaut’s wife rene carpenter life article
  4. blind rancher george spahn and charles manson
  5. los angeles photojournalist julian wasser
  6. arctic explorer harold mccracken
  7. donald trump smells like shit
  8. gary numan technology nightmare
  9. example of how benign neglect is beneficial
  10. sending infants through the mail
This week, Jim Carrey defended his insane anti-vaccination theories, saying he got his information from a highly trained medical professional.

This week, Jim Carrey defended his insane anti-vaccination theories, saying he got his information from a highly trained medical professional.

 

  • Zbigniew Brzezinski believes Russian and the U.S. are in a Cold War.
  • Dubai is building a small office building with a 3D printer.
  • Ants can help us better assimilate the Information Age’s flood of data.


Today is a special day when Americans eat too much, drink too much and blow stuff up. That’s right, it’s Saturday.

Oh, and it’s also July 4th, the anniversary of when we began waxing those British father-rapers who were taxing us and then using that money to supply us with basic services we desperately needed. I mean, we would have died. Yes, it’s the birthday of the U.S.A., the greatest nation in the history of the world. If you forget that America is the best country ever, don’t worry, we’ll remind you. That’s because we’re large and wealthy yet deeply insecure, much like Alec Baldwin. Luckily, other countries are far worse than we are, so they can’t say shit. Yes, Turkmenistan, I’m looking at you. Suck it! And if you do talk trash about us, we’ll know right away because we’re listening in on all your private conversations. We can’t help it: Spying on you, sexy world, sends blood rushing to our boners.

Anyhow, enjoy a safe and happy holiday!

______________________________

“America the Beautiful,” by Meat Loaf and Mitt Romney.

 

Sharpie on my butt

Woke up in Elmsford. Looking for whoever wrote on my ass! It was a Sharpie and I’m having trouble washing it off.

 

“A poet turns to selling medical marijuana to make money. “

Volunteer for joke writer for feature film

Please send some jokes if you’d like to volunteer.

Movie Plot:

A poet turns to selling medical marijuana to make money. Along his journey he tries to help 5 strangers everyday by helping anyway he can. The poet’s best friend is arrested and held for blackmail by a DEA captain, and the poet does his best to pay off the DEA captain and help others along the way. He meets a beautiful nurse along the way.

 

10 search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:

  1. what is jimmy fallon like offstage?
  2. anthony barnosky paleobiologist extinction studies
  3. joe garagiola bubble gum contest
  4. my dinner with andre electric blanket
  5. daniil kharms russian slapstick
  6. marciano ali computer fight
  7. henry kissinger throwing out first pitch
  8. do ants taste like pickles?
  9. mike wallace interviewing david frost
  10. donald trump is a dumb fuck
This week, there was good news for President Trump's campaign. A full 1.3% of Americans said they would consider voting for him if he could pull a living Abraham Lincoln out of his colon.

This week, there was good news for President Trump’s campaign. A full 1.3% of Americans said they would consider voting for him if he could pull a living Abraham Lincoln out of his rectum.

I'd rather be back in the balcony at Ford's Theater.

I’d rather be in the balcony at Ford’s Theatre.

 

  • Sir Martin Rees believes AI, not humans, will fully understand the cosmos.
  • Yuval Harari thinks the next Lenin-level leaders are in Silicon Valley.
  • Cybersecurity expert John McAfee write a Snowden article that is wow.
  • Illah Reza Nourbakhsh looks at the dystopic side of the robotic future.
  • Bill Gates discusses the potential impact of driverless cars.
  • Softbank’s Pepper is an “emotional robot,” oy gevalt.
  • Humanities could be pushing back at the Digital Age.
  • In 1975, Peter Benchley and Roy Scheider discussed their new film, Jaws.
  • A brief note from 1930 about an ex-cop.

  • What’s The Benefit Of Eating Your Own Placenta?
  • It’s Not A Rat, KFC Swears
  • The Truth About Living With A Micropenis
  • Here’s What Men Really Think About Women’s Pubic Hair
  • Man Shoots Himself In Foot To See How It Feels
  • Farmer’s Wife Accused Of Murder After Body Found In Pile Of Manure
  • DOODY BOUND: Your Toothbrush Is Probably Covered In Poop
  • Teacher’s Sex Toy Selfie Assignment Arouses Parental Concern
  • Family Calls Police In Horror As Apartment Wall Starts Dripping Blood
  • Charlie Brown Voice Actor Has Bizarre Courtroom Meltdown
Mr Brown, what were you doing purchasing heroin in Canarsie?

Mr. Brown, what were you doing with a crack pipe in Jersey City?

I will throw blood all over this courtroom.

I will pour blood all over this courtroom.

The court orders you to undergo psychiatric evaluation.

The court orders you to undergo psychiatric evaluation.

 

10 recent search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:

  1. jay bakker with marc maron
  2. francis ford coppola the conversation
  3. collier’s man will conquer space soon
  4. mary todd lincoln adjudged insane
  5. dorothy stratten murder
  6. thomas mann visiting the white house
  7. david frost interviewing yippies
  8. pick your spots baby mlton berle richard pryor
  9. jascha heifetz electric car
  10. john delorean in central park
This week, America's next President, Donald Trump, said wheelchair-bound pundit Chalres Karauthammer is a "loser" who "just sits there." He also took aim at that socialist creep who's always hanging around.

This week, America’s next President, Donald Trump, said wheelchair-bound pundit Charles Krauthammer is a “loser” who “just sits there.” He also took aim at that socialist jerk who’s always hanging around.

 

  • Martin Wolf thinks technology is overrated. Daniela Rus thinks it’s amazing.
  • Johann-Dietrich Wörner of the European Space Agency wants moon colonies.
  • Jenna Wortham explains what Uber has meant to African-Americans.
  • J.J. Abrams recalls Dick Smith, special make-up effects artist.

 

Have someone staying in your home and you want out? Well today’s the day. See I smell terrible all the time. Have me around for a bit and they are sure to want to leave. Really this will work. I want in return iPads, laptops, cash, gold, cash. Email for more info.

Going to jail sale. No offer refused. (Westhaven)

I am selling everything washer dryer couches kitchen stuff. No offer refused. Call Dave.

oldtimeytypewriter (1)

 

10 search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:

  1. oriana fallaci interview muhammad ali
  2. seth kinman gave chairs to presidents
  3. arthur jones younger women faster airplanes bigger crocodiles
  4. william f buckley with woodward bernstein 1970s
  5. pete seeger television show
  6. august engelhardt built tropical utopia
  7. entire u.s. population could fit in texas
  8. are there more trees in britain now?
  9. freeman dyson genetic engineering
  10. pool player willie mosconi
This week, Mike Huckabee confirmed that he is considering a much running mate who can reach out to young people,

This week, Mike Huckabee confirmed that he’s considering a running mate who can reach out to young people.


  • Japan is extraordinarily comfortable with robots.
  • Sebastian Thrun would like Udacity to double the world’s GDP. Uh, wow.
  • The Asch Experiments may not have proved utter conformity, but still.
  • The technology needed to automate trucking is already here.
  • Not every shopping center will become a ghost mall

WANTED!! Photos of animals! – $50

I collect photos of animals having sex. Pets, wild animals, or a mix of both! I am willing to pay up to $50 dollars for an original photo that I would be able to copyright as my own. The photos will eventually be displayed in a calendar.

 

10 recent search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:

  1. i’m sorry to ruin his life gary hart
  2. doukhobor naked protests
  3. chief red fox fake
  4. bobby fischer los angeles public library
  5. tom carson article about ricky jay
  6. google 2.0
  7. e.o. wilson’s half earth project
  8. jaws featurette with peter benchley
  9. brain injuries caused by soccer
  10. thomas frank david graeber conversation
This week, Rick Perry announced he's running for President to improve the economy, fight terrorism, and, most importantly, to...

This week, Rick Perry announced he’s running for President to improve the economy, fight terrorism, and, most importantly, to…

dealing-with-opps-01-26-2012-rick-perry

  • Rand Paul is trying to woo left-leaning technologists.
  • Thomas Piketty reviews Sir Tony Atkinson’s book about wealth inequality.
  • Google doesn’t believe semi-autonomous vehicles are workable.
  • Contact lenses offering telescopic vision are nearly upon us.
  • Cliven Bundy is visited by the Guardian, a year after the armed standoff.
  • Socialism might be, perhaps, having a rare moment in America.
  • Grace Paley may be the most underrated great American short-story writer.
  • A brief note from 1935 about an “ape man.”

Lowlife Culture (Williamsburg)

Seeking any and all Con men/women, scam artists, pickpockets, thieves, and anyone else embedded in lowlife culture to tell their story. No story will be considered too troubled, no atmosphere too strange. Genuine characters of all kinds welcome.

 

Is this the life or what 

Sooo…I just masturbated at work, and then after I went to get a sandwich. Is this the life or what!

I had chili for breakfast.

I had chili for breakfast, Jeb.

  • Man’s Love For Brother Inspires ‘Fart Symphony’
  • Masturbating Can Get Your Hands Pregnant In The Afterlife, Muslim Televangelist Warns
  • Teacher Allegedly Shares Nude Photos Of Her Boob Job With Students
  • Man Named Bacon Assaults Person For Eating Sausage: Police
  • Twins Arrested For Throwing Bricks At Each Other
  • Man Asks City To Ban Fart Smells — For A Good Reason
  • Danish Radio Station Beats Rabbit To Death Live On Air
  • The Very Public Spaces Where People Privately Orgasm
  • Eric Stonestreet Apologizes To Jim Parsons For Sex Toy Mishap
  • Why We’re So Excited About Granny Panties
Show me your panties, Grandma Lucy.

I want your panties, Grandma Lucy.

I'm calling the police, you pervert!

I’m calling the police, you pervert!

It's still me, Nana.

I’m going to need your panties as evidence, Nana.

 

10 search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:

  1. article about ghost brands being revived
  2. jean harris in the courtroom
  3. review of joan didion’s slouching toward bethlehem
  4. predictions about california earthquakes
  5. john delorean as a young auto executive
  6. dolphin injected with lsd
  7. rev. billy graham’s success
  8. man with broken neck freak show
  9. william f buckley running for nyc mayor
  10. automated office from fascist italy

This week, it became clear that the next World Cup may be an even-lower-scoring affair than usual.


  • A thumbnail explanation of Yuval Noah Harari’s feelings about cyborgism.
  • A rebuttal to those who doubt technological unemployment will occur.
  • Perhaps technological unemployment will ultimately lead to contentment.
  • A brief note from 1895 about an embalmer.

Check me for ticks? (Brooklyn Heights)

I’ve thought about this and it’s not as weird as it sounds. I go upstate most weekends and the tick population has been huge. Last week I found 3 ticks on my body. I don’t have anyone I feel comfortable asking to check me thoroughly so what is a person to do? My eyesight isn’t the greatest and I’m somewhat hairy, complicating the task from my own perspective.

Perhaps there is someone in a medically related field, or studying, who is not especially squeamish about doing examinations involving nudity? Or just open to it? It doesn’t have to be a big deal, but it does have to be done seriously. A careful full body check and removal of any ticks that are found. I have gloves and a little removal tool. It’s important to find attached ticks within 24-48 hours, so this would best take place on Sunday evenings or Mondays, hopefully on a regular basis. I’m located near Borough Hall.

I’m absolutely willing to pay, but as far-fetched as it sounds I’m wondering whether I might find someone in Activities rather than posting this as a job! It’s quite a dilemma, figuring out how to find these little suckers in places you can’t see. Yeah, could try to use a mirror or smartphone, but not ideal.

If someone is in the same predicament I would be willing to reciprocate. Thanks for reading and considering. Oh yeah, I’m a middle aged, healthy, average looking guy.

help me find a shrinking potion (reno nv)

i’m looking for a real working way to shrink. i know its very strange, but i’m serious, and i know that there must really be a way. i would like to shrink myself to 3 inches tall. no joke. i’m a 24-year-old male. i’d do anything, anything to get a hold of something that really honestly works. thank you!

 

10 search-engine keyphrases bringing traffic to Afflictor this week:

  1. robert mitchum in jail
  2. mars expedition stress
  3. donald trump cologne ingredients
  4. the wicker man 1973
  5. behavioural economist george loewenstein
  6. tom snyder interviews gore vidal
  7. rudi gernreich predictions
  8. aubrey de grey defeating death
  9. gloves made from human skin
  10. how did walt disney’s mother die?

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