The Singapore Chamber of Commerce.

The traffic numbers from this weekend are in and those of us in the Afflictor offices in Brooklyn are excited to announce that we have our first visitors from the island nation of Singapore. In many ways, Singapore is a sophisticated, modern country. It has a diverse populace and economy, a dense population that allows for efficient use of resources, a thriving port and great cuisine. But there’s one sort of embarrassing thing about Singapore. How do we put it delicately? They can’t stop caning the living shit out of each other. Since the country has little serious violent crime but occurrences of petty crime (the kind that will get you a caning), we have to assume they’re into it, they’re really, really into it. Maybe it’s a sexual thing. Who knows, but Singapore is the caning capital of the world. Well, apart from the vicious and repeated canings, you have to give Singapore credit for its sleek and comfortable rail transportation. It’s good for the environment and it gives citizens a place to rest their bleeding asses. Anyhow: Welcome, Singapore, to Afflictor Nation!