Quietly Heroic, Afflictor Successfully Completes Jury Duty

Judge Judy: Presided over the landmark case of the missing donut. (Image by Susan Roberts.)

Jury duty service is over, so Afflictor.com no longer has any reason to suck. Don’t get me wrong: It will still suck. There’s just no excuse for it anymore.

New things at jury duty in Brooklyn: Lounge has free wi-fi, about a dozen public computers with Internet access, a half-dozen large-screen TVs tuned to MSNBC. There’s no more sitting around for nine days if you haven’t been assigned to a trial; most people are dismissed after one day of service. Once you complete your service, you will not be called again for jury duty for eight years. The whole thing is managed very well; no more bureaucratic nightmare.

Old things at jury duty in Brooklyn: I saw a judge wandering around the halls who must have been 200 years old. I assume he has emeritus status and was there for minor proceedings. He might have been on loan from a judge museum. When he spoke, sawdust come out of his mouth.