Growing up is bruising in the best of circumstances but imagine the marks that need healing if your father happens to be a serial murderer. That was the reality for Melissa Moore, daughter of Keith Jesperson, the “Happy Face Killer.” In “My Evil Dad,” a new BBC article, she writes of their uncomfortable relationship and how she gradually escaped his dark shadow after the revelation of his awful actions. An excerpt:

One of the things about my dad – which made me very uncomfortable as a young woman – was that he was very explicit about his sexual relationships. For example, he sometimes went into graphic detail about what it had been like sleeping with my mother. He would leer at women in public, make lewd remarks about them, and harass them. That morning in Denny’s Diner was no different – I remember him flirting horribly with the waitress while we sat in a window booth.

It was during this meal that my dad said, “Not everything is what it appears to be, Missy.” And I said, “What do you mean Dad?”

I watched him wrestling with something internally. Then he said: “You know, I have something to tell you, and it’s really important.” There was a long silence before I asked him what it was. “I can’t tell you, sweetie. If I tell you, you will tell the police. I’m not what you think I am, Melissa.”

I felt my stomach drop, like I was on a rollercoaster and had just hit the lowest part of the loop. I had to run to the bathroom. When I returned to the booth I felt calm again and I found to my relief that my dad was willing to just drop the conversation.

But I go back to that incident so often and I think: “If he had told me, what would have happened next? If he had told me about his seven murders – it was very soon to be eight – would I have gone to the police? Having revealed his secrets, would he have given me the chance?”

Could my father have killed me? That has been a huge question mark in my life.•