“You wouldn’t know brilliant if you sucked it’s dick!”

Screw you to ALL my previous employers!!!

If I have ever worked for you, I would like to extend a huge, cold, “fuck you” to you! I can’t wait to laugh at you as you all get aneurysms from your fucked up daily grind and desperate squirming for money. See, it turns out that I am an inventor and innovator. I couldn’t do your bullshit because you’re so fucking boring and devoid of ANY creativity. All I could do is fucking fall asleep from your repetitive bullshit! I made over $7,300,000 in November and see it doubling in the first half of December from just one $80.00 invention that cost me $600 to research and develop…and you probably own one. So all you fucking “be here at 7:30 AM” cock-sucking bosses can all die of heart attacks, for all I give a shit. You can all suck my nuts. You are all slimy, greedy, abusive, immoral, evil to the bone cocksuckers. You fuck all your customers and all your workers, you shit-buckets! I stole fuckloads of time from you assholes – not to mention I’d rummage through your private shit every once in a while. That’s how I know that one of you left your wife because your sperm could only generate girls. You left your wife because she gave you the daughter who you now cherish, you worthless half-an-asshole. Then you went and had six more girls with four other women. You wouldn’t know brilliant if you sucked it’s dick!

Now, all you hard working bosses can enjoy still having to wake up at 4:30 every morning to RUSH to work to make sure nobody is late. I sleep until noon, wake up, turn on the tube, smoke a fat fucking blunt with my Corn Pops, jam on the piano or drums (or guitar or harmonica for that matter), dip in the pool, play with the dogs and take my fucking time through life with a joint constantly dangling from my lips. No more appointments, paychecks, time-clocks, your stupid fucking faces, your complaints about how I’m not doing shit your way (when if you had done shit my way, you would have made more money, stupid).

So, while you assholes are sweating which of your employees pisses too long while you sit in your car on the Gowanus Parking Lot every morning, think of what I’m doing during your torment…I’m sleeping in a nice, warm, soft, quiet bed, right next to a warm woman waiting for my natural wake-up chemicals to wake me. Then I take my time and play with the wife in bed and then go about my day…of getting blazed and chillin’ by the fireplace while you develop blood clots, cancers and other competitors in the race to kill you. My money’s on hypertension. All of you ungodly sewer scum need to invent something and work smart. You are all neanderthals. Go fuck yourselves!

P.S. I fucked one of your wives…twice.