“Liquid gold.”

Pregnancy Urine – $50 (Hudson Valley)

Strange but true, the hormones in a pregnant woman’s urine can increase plant growth. It MUST be diluted in water though, or you will burn your plants–a little goes a long way. I have used 8oz. urine in one gallon of water with good results–giving each plant no more than 1/2 cup (less to small plants). Once per month for average houseplants, 2 times a month for orchids seems to work very well for me (finally got my orchids to bloom after 2 years of blossoms dropping off before opening). At the proper dilution it did not make the plants smell like pee–no one needs to know your secret for gorgeous orchids.

You could freeze it for next years tomato plants–online info seems to suggest it gives a bumper crop. However, the idea of saving urine in your freezer until spring may be sort of gross–label it well!

The urine comes in a clean glass mason jar, containing at least 8oz of urine. Yes, it will be “fresh” but use it up or freeze it. Handle it as any organic plant fertilizer: Wear gloves, don’t use it straight, and DON’T just leave it lying around–it will go “bad”.

For goodness sake, don’t email me with any weird sexual requests or I will NOT respond.

Put “liquid gold” in the subject line or I will not open email.