Donald Trump, who stinks, believes it’s okay to falsely accuse others of failing at things he himself has actually failed at. Magazine editor Graydon Carter has pointed out Trump’s boorish, bigoted behavior at Spy and Vanity Fair, so Trump thought he would take a couple of potshots at him.
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Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump
How is @VanityFair editor Graydon Carter allowed to run bad food restaurant Beatrice Inn? Fire Graydon!
Afflictor: If there’s one thing Donald knows about, it’s bad food.
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Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump
@VanityFair looks like a dying magazine! Really really boring, really really thin!
Afflictor: If there’s another thing Donald knows about, it’s dying magazines.
Of course, Donald Trump may just be stressed out these days because he’s so busy answering the many letters he receives from fans.
Thousands of fans have been sending letters to Trump Tower in anticipation of @CelebApprentice. Really good show.
Dear Donald, Whenever I watch Celebrity Apprentice, my anal hair becomes irritated. Please advise. Sincerely, Mr. Cuddles.
Listen, Cuddles, I’m sure there’s an ointment for that. Or perhaps you could shave your ass. Most of my fans are ass-shavers.
My good man, Any time I turn on Celebrity Apprentice, rats commence to gnawing on my balls. Yours, William.
Willie, I would suggest you to pick up a bottle of Donald Trump Ball Spray for Men.
Available at Macy’s and other high-end dealers of ball spray.
Can I use it on my irritable ass hair?
Not unless you have balls in your ass.
Oh, I do!
Dear Mr. Trump, My vagina gets sleepy whenever I watch Celebrity Apprentice. Can you help?
Perhaps you could visualize me waving money around to perk up your hoo haa. That seems to work with the women in my life. Or maybe it could be another business opportunity for me.
Donald Trump’s Snatch Spray for Women. Available at Macy’s and other fine dealers of ladypart squirts.