Today is a special day when Americans eat too much, drink too much and blow stuff up. That’s right, it’s Wednesday.

Oh, and it’s also July 4th, the birthday of the U.S.A., the greatest nation in the history of the world. If you forget that America is the best country ever, we’ll remind you again in ten minutes. That’s because we’re large yet insecure, much like Alec Baldwin. Luckily, other countries are far worse so they can’t say shit. Yup, Somalia, I’m looking at you. Suck it.

Anyhow, enjoy a safe and happy holiday!

••••••••••

Ray Charles singing “America the Beautiful” at Wrestlemania 2 in 1986: