2011

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"Let's be honest - I am 30, and it needs to go."

Mr. T and A-Team memorabilia (West Village)

Ok, so my parents are moving out of their house and with that goes my 15 year collection of all things A-Team and Mr. T — this includes board games, figurines, cards, toys, collectibles and a variety of other Mr. T and A-Team stuff. All of it collected from flea markets, eBay and random stores. Strange, yes. However, lets be honest – I am 30, and it needs to go. Let me know if you are interested and I can give you more details through email on what is for sale and we can figure out a fair price.

 

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Impressive bots if not great soccer players. (Thanks IEEE Spectrum.)

Ewe. (Image by Don Crowley.)

Umbilicus: The navel. During pregnancy a mass of vessels called placenta or afterbirth (as it is ejected after the birth of the child), is formed on the inner surface of the womb, and conveys the mother’s blood to the child by an artery in the umbilical cord which enters the child by the navel and maintains a circulation, the venous blood returning to the mother by another blood vessel. As soon as the child is born respiration establishes itself, the umbilical cord is cut (it contains no nerves) and the navel bandaged. Children born after seven months of pregnancy are capable of life. With animals the mother usually devours the afterbirth.

Vaudeville: A form of theatrical entertainment extremely popular in the United States and Europe. Large circuits of theatres are devoted to it, and a great number of small theatres showing moving pictures give vaudeville acts also. Vaudeville originated in France and described a short play; but the word in the United States has superseded the word “variety” as a means of indicating a theatrical show composed of various features. In vaudeville, the acts, each lasting from ten to thirty minutes, but mostly twenty minutes, are of all kinds; short plays, farces, operettas, protean plays. sketches, singers, teams of comedians who dance, sing and tell jokes, sister teams, all sorts of players on musical instruments; an endless number of athletic feats, such as bicycle riding, juggling, tight rope walking, skating, and bag punching; sleight-of-hand performers; performing animals; appearances of persons temporarily notorious; all kinds of spectacular and trick dancing; lightning changes of costume, lightning pictorial and plastic artists, thought-reading, hypnotism, in fact everything of any possible interest. As a form of amusement, it is not regarded highly, and is chiefly patronized by “the general public”–those looking for amusement only.

V-Neck.

Warfare in the Air: A subject which has developed to the point of international discussion, and by many it is prophesied that the next great war will see the aeroplane fleet an important adjunct of the opposing forces. By means of these commanders of hostile armies can inform themselves of each other’s movements, and shells dropped from an aeroplane can do most effective damage; whereas it is difficult for the enemy to secure an accurate range on an aeroplane because a shot “wild” in the air gives no indication of how far it went wild as on land or water. Besides an aeroplane only 1,000 feet in the air is an inconspicuous object and can only be hit by accident. Some progress toward warfare in the air has already been made. The Germans have done considerable work in perfecting aeroplane guns, but only practical experience will show their efficacy and aviators do not at present look for great results from them. Aerial warfare is the most uncertain of all developments; and the probabilities are that the very proportions to which the subject will advance will operate to put an end to international wars altogether.

W. (Image by Eric Draper.)

Werewolf: According to an Old World superstition, a human being changed into a wolf, but preserving its original intelligence. Numerous men charged in the Middle Ages with crimes were deemed of the Werewolf category. The superstition prevailed in many parts of Europe to a comparatively recent time, and some such belief is prevalent amongst the most savage races at the present day.

Windows: Originally apertures for the admission of the wind into dwellings, began to be made of glass and used only for the admission of light in very early times. There is evidence of glass windows having been used at Pompeii, but they did not become common in England before the twelfth century. A window tax was imposed in 1695, and again at later dates for special revenue purposes. As late as 1850, the sum of over $9,000,000 was obtained from the tax. It was repealed in 1851.

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Banal and endless. Like a Warhol version of the Youtube kitty video.

"If he was not smoking a cigarette, the smoke of which he inhaled, he had a quid of tobacco in his mouth, and sometimes he smoked and chewed at the same time.” (Image by Lewis Hine.)

There were laws in the nineteenth century prohibiting the sale of cigarettes to children under sixteen, but they weren’t often enforced. The results of this oversight were not pretty, as the following quintet of articles from the Brooklyn Daily Eagle demonstrates.

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“Cigarettes Did It” (August 3, 1889): “Insane through smoking cigarettes was the verdict reached by Justice Duffy at the Essex Market Police Court, New York, this morning in the case of Max Casserly, a pale faced youth, who was found wandering along Grand street, in that city, last night.

‘He smokes three packages of cigarettes a day,’ explained Policeman Cohen, who made the arrest.

‘Please, judge,’ stammered the prisoner, ‘give me a cigarette.’

‘You ought to get rattaned instead,’ said Justice Duffy, as he committed him for medical examination.”

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“Nicotine Poisoning” (September 7, 1883): “The death of William P. Morris, of this city at the age of 15, from nicotine poisoning ought to be a warning to the boys who take, as he did, to smoking cigarettes and chewing tobacco before they have done growing or their constitution is able to resist the affects of narcotic poison. Whether tobacco be or not injurious, when used in moderation by full grown men, there can be no two opinions as to the vital injury it does to children. It is true the boy Morris smoked and chewed to excess and that when he once began to use tobacco it became an infatuation with him. If he was not smoking a cigarette, the smoke of which he inhaled, he had a quid of tobacco in his mouth, and sometimes he smoked and chewed at the same time.”

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“Death Caused By Cigarette Smoking” (December 14, 1887): “The death of John W. Quick, a 14-year-old lad, a victim of excessive cigarette smoking was investigated to-day by Coroner Ashbridge. A medical examination showed that death was accelerated by cerebral congestion due to narcotic poisoning the result of excessive cigarette smoking. Mrs. Quick had said that her son was an inveterate cigarette smoker and though she tried repeatedly to break him of the habit, she scarcely ever saw him without a cigarette in his mouth. A verdict in accordance with evidence was rendered.”

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“The Girl Smoked Cigarettes” (August 30, 1897): “Bertha Abel, the girl who was taken to the Bellevue Hospital, New York, Saturday in a fit of hysteria, during which she spoke of having smoked eighteen cigars a night, has not yet recovered from her fit. She is in the insane pavilion and under treatment. Dr. Robertson, who has charge of the insane pavilion cases, said he did not believe the girl smoked eighteen cigars a night. The girl is said to have smoked cigarettes.”

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“My First Smoke” (February 6, 1898): “One day while coming from school I met a boy who had a pack of cigarettes. He gave me one to smoke, while smoking it my sister saw me and she told my father. He did not whip me but he filled his big pipe full of tobacco and gave it to me to smoke. He told me if I did not smoke it he would whip me, but it made me awful sick and it seemed that everything was flying around and I had to hold on the back of my chair to keep from falling off. That was my first and last smoke.–George Peterson (aged 10 years old), 109 North Ninth Street.”

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Theodore Roosevelt, after bagging an elephant. Not even President Palin could get away with this today. (Image by Edward Van Altena.)

The Essayist posted a link to George Orwell’s classic 1936 essay, “Shooting an Elephant.” An excerpt:

“One day something happened which in a roundabout way was enlightening. It was a tiny incident in itself, but it gave me a better glimpse than I had had before of the real nature of imperialism–the real motives for which despotic governments act. Early one morning the sub-inspector at a police station the other end of the town rang me up on the phone and said that an elephant was ravaging the bazaar. Would I please come and do something about it? I did not know what I could do, but I wanted to see what was happening and I got on to a pony and started out. I took my rifle, an old .44 Winchester and much too small to kill an elephant, but I thought the noise might be useful in terrorem. Various Burmans stopped me on the way and told me about the elephant’s doings. It was not, of course, a wild elephant, but a tame one which had gone ‘must.’ It had been chained up, as tame elephants always are when their attack of ‘must’ is due, but on the previous night it had broken its chain and escaped. Its mahout, the only person who could manage it when it was in that state, had set out in pursuit, but had taken the wrong direction and was now twelve hours’ journey away, and in the morning the elephant had suddenly reappeared in the town. The Burmese population had no weapons and were quite helpless against it. It had already destroyed somebody’s bamboo hut, killed a cow and raided some fruit-stalls and devoured the stock; also it had met the municipal rubbish van and, when the driver jumped out and took to his heels, had turned the van over and inflicted violences upon it.”

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Senior stoners. (Thanks Live Leak.)

"The first building to overcome these sensitivities was Richard Morris Hunt’s Stuyvesant Apartments." (Image by John Singer Sargent.)

From “Sardine Life,” a smart essay in New York magazine by Justin Davidson about the evolution of apartment living in NYC, which was considered déclassé until one elegant building changed all that:

“The first building to overcome these sensitivities was Richard Morris Hunt’s Stuyvesant Apartments at 142 East 18th Street, a luxurious behemoth by 1870 standards. This structure defeated doubters with a two-pronged argument of aesthetics and pragmatism. The architecture oozed dignity: Five stories high and four lots wide, it had an imposing mass, an overweening mansard roof with yawning dormers, wrought-iron balconies, and ornamental columns. Even more persuasively, compared with the cost of building, furnishing, cleaning, and repairing a private home, all this respectability came as a bargain. Within a few years, the Times announced that a ‘domiciliary revolution’ had taken place: a happy epidemic of flats had beaten back a plague of sinister boardinghouses. Young couples could now afford a bright new place in town; families no longer needed to fan out to the villages that lay miles from Union Square. The change represented the triumph of pragmatism over prejudice. ‘Anglo Saxons,’ the Times reported, ‘are instinctively opposed to living under the same roof with other people, and it is doubtful if [that resistance] would have been overcome had not the earliest flats been of an elegant kind, in the best quarters of the town, and therefore, expensive and fashionable.’ The rich made the apartment safe for the middle class.”

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"A favorite of psychotic serial killers like Jeffrey Dahmer."

Immense Chest Freezer – $150 (Stamford CT)

I am selling a Kenmore chest freezer because the wife and kids are out of the house (finally!). Though I eat mostly TV dinners, I don’t go through enough to need this puppy any longer.

This is an immense unit, 71″ wide, 36″ high and 27 1/2″ deep, which means about 28.5 cubic feet of usable interior space by my estimate. It’s about 20 years old and works great. This is exactly the sort of freezer that my grandma loved for storing all her groceries over the course of the winter, and it’s also a favorite of psychotic serial killers like Jeffrey Dahmer, who needed all that room to store multiple “experiments.”

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A week before the earthquake. (Thanks Reddit.)

Known to cause cancer. (Image by Geierunited.)

Lonnie Warner, a.k.a. Lonnie Loosie, is a genial entrepreneur who sells untaxed tobacco in Manhattan a full pack or a single coffin nail at a time, frequently getting arrested. Joseph Goldstein of the New York Times profiles the small businessman:

“In the four years since he began selling cigarettes, Mr. Warner recalls being arrested 15 times, generally on the charge of selling untaxed tobacco. He has been arrested so often that he can recognize 10 different plainclothes police officers, he claims. The ever-present risk of arrest makes working with partners valuable — ‘we have six eyes on this block,’ he explained.

Over many court appearances, Mr. Warner has made a favorable impression on the lawyers in Midtown Community Court, who know him as Lonnie Loosie and consider him better company than the typical misdemeanor defendant.

‘There are people who are known bad guys, and then there’s him,’ said Russell S. Novack, the Legal Aid lawyer who represents many of Midtown’s hustlers, prostitutes, shoplifters and public drunks. ‘He’s like the goodwill ambassador of Eighth Avenue. And when he comes into court, he says hello to everybody.'”

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Tarantula: A large hairy kind of spider common in some parts of Italy, Southern California, Texas, and Mexico and other sub-tropical countries, and at one point thought to be poisonous and perhaps are occasionally so. Music was supposed to be the only cure for its sting, which superstition gave the Tarantula dance, an ancient Bacchanalian amusement. The Church banned it, and it was ascribed to the hateful spider.

Tattooing: The practice of pricking patterns or designs in the skin, with indelible pigments. It is in vogue among the brown and yellow races and sailors the world over. Among savages a matter of primitive taste and custom, or means of identification. It is a habit, says Lombroso, distinguishing the criminal type.

Taximeter: An ingenious contrivance by which the strictly legal fare chargeable for a cab journey is indicated. It is only recently that it has been adopted on a large scale in London and New York, although in Berlin and Paris it has been successfully working for many years. It is now in use extensively in this country both for motor cabs and ordinary cabs. It gives its name to the Taxicab, in which the number of wheel revolutions and consequently distance traveled and fare due, are automatically recorded on the dial of the taximeter, to avoid disputes.

Thugs: A secret organization of Indian fanatical assassins. They strangled their victims, and buried their bodies with a consecrated pick-axe, and set apart one-third of their plunder to the goddess Kali. These assassins were difficult to suppress, but vigorous measures ultimately, after twenty years’ effort, secured their extermination in about 1830.

Trance: An abnormal psychical state. In waking trance the thoughts are fixed on one subject, often religion, and other perception ceases. In trance coma and death trance pulsation, respiration and vitality appear to cease, all the nature being concentrated on interior thought or vision. It can be distinguished from death only by absence of decay and may last for weeks.

•Taken from the 1912 Standard Illustrated Book of Facts.

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Not really necessary to understand Spanish. (Thanks Reddit.)

“The next day Willig met with Mayor Abraham Beame, who settled for a fine of $1.10—a penny for each of the tower’s 110 stories.”

From “The Only Way to Go Is Up,” Sam Moses’ 1977 Sports Illustrated profile of George Willig, a Queens toy designer and mountain climber known as the “Human Fly,” who scaled the South Tower of the the World Trade Center that year:

“At 10:05 a.m., 3 1/2 hours after he began, admittedly very excited by now, but not tired, Willig lifted himself over a ledge at the top and crawled, feet first, into an inspection hatch on the roof. He was none the worse for wear, except for blistered hands and insteps. He was greeted by policemen, who congratulated him, requested his autograph, then handcuffed him and served him with a summons for disorderly conduct, criminal trespass and scaling a building without a permit. In addition, it was announced that the city was going to sue Willig for $250,000 for the trouble and expense he had put it to. The next day Willig met with Mayor Abraham Beame, who settled for a fine of $1.10—a penny for each of the tower’s 110 stories. In return, Willig readily agreed not to reveal the details of his climbing apparatus, to forestall imitators from attempting similar climbs.

Of course, Willig was asked why he did it. He responded with the expected answer, the classic and clichéd ‘Because it’s there’—which at the time was the easiest way to reply to a simple question that in truth has such a complex answer. Another reply might have been what Louis Armstrong said when asked to define jazz, ‘If you don’t know, I can’t tell you.’

Nonetheless, Thursday night, before he took his phone off the hook and went to bed at about 1 a.m., Willig tried again to answer the question. ‘A couple of times during the year I planned this climb I thought. ‘What the heck is in me that makes me want to do this?’ I guess it’s just a love of excitement and adventure, an appetite for action. Maybe it has a lot to do with asserting my life, just to myself—feeling more alive.

‘I did wonder, at times, if I should go through with it. But I never at all seriously considered not doing it, never from the first time I got the idea.'”

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Which was held in Italy. (Thanks Singularity Hub.)

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At age 62, Annie Oakley hit 100 clay targets from 16 yards.

This classic 1922 photograph shows legendary markswoman Annie Oakley, still a sure shot just four years before her death, as she displays a firearm given to her by Buffalo Bill. The image from the New York World-Telegram & Sun profiles the 62-year-old Oakley in the same year she suffered injuries in a bad automobile accident, which could have been fatal but only temporarily disarmed her. The Brooklyn Daily Eagle mistakenly pronounced her dead once in 1890. An excerpt from that false report:

“Annie Oakley, the champion woman rifle and wing shot of the world, died at Buenos Aires, South America, on Monday last of congestion of the lungs. At the age of 10 years she was accustomed to handle a light gun with great proficiency and soon obtained a reputation as being one of the best rifle shots, defeating most of the prominent shots in various matches. Just before her departure for Europe last year she joined the Fountain and Coney Island gun clubs in their shoots at Woodlawn Park, Gravesend L.I., and made many friends by her modest and unassuming manner.”

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Oakley, steady of eye and hand, in 1894:

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"It’d be nice to help." (Image by Mavarin.)

my deepest secrets.

i’m 18, m. saving for a new car. i don’t hold much in, so i’m offering my deepest darkest confessions for donation(s) of any amount. it’d be nice to help. i think i have some pretty interesting things to share.

 

"It's about the Internet when it was a more tactile experience."

The Slow Internet movement has been around for awhile, but it seems to be gaining traction. Or perhaps it just hired a better publicist. NPR presents a story about people who seek out dial-up connections, yearning for a slower user experience, a doomed but interesting experiment in ’90s nostalgia. It’s an offshoot of sorts of the Slow Food movement. Listen to the report here. An excerpt:

“Dial-up Internet is enjoying a huge comeback as the slow-net wave (partly inspired by the slow food movement) crashes onto hipster shores nationwide.

OK Go frontman Damian Kulash has written the trend’s anthem. The song is called ‘Love Me Longtime.’

‘It’s about the Internet when it was a more tactile experience — when it took something to be on the Internet,’ Kulash says.” (Thanks Klaw.)

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A five-minute writing lesson from Kurt Vonnegut, the Mark Twain of our lifetimes. So it goes. (Thanks Open Culture.)

A 1970 Vonnegut commencement address, as covered by Time magazine:

“Like his novels, Kurt Vonnegut Jr.’s message to the graduating class of Bennington College was by turns desolately winsome, merely bleak and utterly but almost gaily despondent. Confessing to congenital pessimism, Vonnegut told the graduates: ‘Everything is going to become unimaginably worse and never get better again.’

Still, Vonnegut had some suggestions: ‘We would be a lot safer if the Government would take its money out of science and put it into astrology and the reading of palms. I used to think that science would save us. But only in superstition is there hope. I beg you to believe in the most ridiculous superstition of all: that humanity is at the center of the universe, the fulfiller or the frustrater of the grandest dreams of God Almighty. If you can believe that and make others believe it, human beings might stop treating each other like garbage.’

Vonnegut also asked the graduates to take advantage of some of youth’s prerogatives. A ‘great swindle of our time,’ he said, ‘is that people your age are supposed to save the world. I was a graduation speaker at a little preparatory school for girls on Cape Cod a couple of weeks ago. I told the girls that they were much too young to save the world and that after they got their diplomas, they should go swimming and sailing and walking, and just fool around.'”

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Pauline Kael whiffed big time on "8½," calling it a "structural disaster."

An ode to giving up instead of going on, Federico Fellini’s is a mid-career, mid-life crisis film that should be self-indulgent and insufferable but is instead one of the most audacious, transformative works of art of the last half-century.

A voluptuary grown weary of the flesh, distraught director Guido Anselmi (Marcello Mastroianni) bathes in the soothing waters of a spa while planning his next project, an extravagant sci-fi film with a cast of thousands. His personal life seems to have just as many speaking roles, as collaborators, agents, producers, family, friends, mistresses, journalists and hangers-on attempt to push the forlorn filmmaker into completing the complex script and pull from him what they need for themselves, material or emotional. And that’s not even counting all the ghosts he encounters in his head.

Of course, Guido is far from faultless himself, having long treated his beautiful wife (Anouk Aimée) and string of mistresses carelessly. In one of the film’s famous fantasy sequences, the many women he’s done wrong turn on him and Guido brandishes a bullwhip to try to keep them at bay. But the demons that threaten his latest epic will not be turned aside, circling violently and moving in for the kill.

Guido finally has an epiphany when he decides to shut down the expensive picture and walk away from all that he has become. In the film’s final ten minutes, as the scaffolding of the set is torn down and colorful extras frolic in the ruin of his life, Guido is reborn as he accepts his collaborator’s nihilistic yet oddly soothing view of the world, realizing the figurative facades he’s built around him need to likewise be shaken to the ground. As his co-writer says to him, “It is better to destroy than create what’s unessential.”•

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Sea-sickness: Disturbance of the nerves and stomach produced by the pitching of a ship at sea, resulting in pallor, cold sweat, vomiting, exhaustion, and, in exceptional cases, in death. It varies greatly in individuals, may be either annoyance or wretchedness, and usually passes away after a few hours or days. It is constitutional, runs in families, and seems dependent on the brain’s inability to balance and accommodate itself to the new condition, communicated through the spine and the solar plexus. Those who suffer from car-sickness are sure to have it. It is nervousness, for women are more subject than men, and young children, without rigidity of nerve, rarely suffer. It is well to keep on deck, recumbent if possible, and live sparingly on shipbread while it lasts. If the patient takes to the berth, mustard plasters on the stomach, cocaine in the mouth and bromo-caffein afford relief. Shutting the eyes to avoid the sight of moving objects is sensible, and sleep is the best of all.

Seldel, Emil: A Socialist mayor of Milwaukee, distinguished as the first of his party to be elected to such an office (April, 1909). His victory was due in part to the popular discontent with the open corruption of previous administrations, and partly to the fact that other Socialist officials before him, in minor offices, had made excellent records. Nearly all the candidates with him were workingmen. He himself is a pattern-maker by trade and can show evidences of the handiwork in the public places of the city. He was born in Germany, but has long been a resident of Milwaukee.

Shakers and Euthanasia: The Kissimmee Colony of Shakers, founded 1894, near Aston, Florida, acquired notoriety, September 1911, through the giving of a “quieting medicine,” to Sister Sadie Elizabeth Sears. When questioned, the administrators of the drug said that “whatever was done, was done to alleviate her sufferings, and to make it easy for her to pass out of the body without severe pain, not to take life.” The event shocked the whole country and a wide discussion on “Euthanasia” followed. The subject was revived a short time later, when the physicians of the County Hospital, Chicago, announced that they had chloroformed a seven-year-old victim of hydrophobia. They said, “They would not kill him, but they would do nothing to prolong his life of suffering.” The child was placed under an anaesthetic; not to be permitted to come from under its influence and “was put to sleep from which he would not wake.”

Shoes: As coverings for the human foot they have been worn from the earliest times. They are referred to in the Bible and early historical records. The shoes of the Jews were made of wood, rush, linen or leather. Pythagoras directed his followers to wear shoes made from the bark of trees. The Romans were the first to set the example of costly shoes, and introduced various decorative adornments of ivory and precious stones. In the Middle Ages fashion played some fantastic tricks with shoes, and in England, about the middle of the fifteenth century, shoes with such long points were worn that they had to be tied to the knees for convenience in walking, the dandies using silver chains for the purpose. It was about 1633 when shoes of the present form were introduced, and in 1668 the buckle came into use as an ornament. These continued in vogue up to the nineteenth century, before which period shoes were not made “rights” and “lefts.”

Swimming: The art of floating upon or in the water, and of progressing therein; a very desirable accomplishment indeed, as well as a pleasant and healthful pastime.

•Taken from the 1912 Standard Illustrated Book of Facts.

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Genesis P-Orridge, Throbbing Gristle legend and world’s most famous pandrogyne, is profiled in the seven-minute 2009 documentary.

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"The Executive Committee ...had chosen my poem, from a multitude, to be entered in its seventh annual poetry convention, which would be held...in Reno, Nevada.

The opening of “What Is Poetry? And Does It Pay?” Jake Silverstein’s smart-acre 2002 Harper’s essay about an asinine poetry convention in Reno, Nevada, that’s run by a vanity press:

“Summer in New Orleans is a long slow thing. Day and night, a heavy heat presides. Waiters stand idle at outdoor cafés, fanning themselves with menus. The tourists have disappeared, and the city’s main industry has gone with them. Throughout town the pinch is on. It is time to close the shutters and tie streamers to your air conditioner; to lie around and plot ways of scraping by that do not involve standing outside for periods of any length.

I was so occupied one humid afternoon when I came across a small newspaper notice that announced in large letters, ‘$25,000 poetry contest.’ ‘Have you written a poem?’ the notice began. I had written a poem. I had even considered submitting it to contests, but the prizes offered never amounted to much—a university might put up $100 in the name of a dead professor—and I hadn’t sent it off. This was a different proposition. With $25,000 I could pay off my debts, quit my jobs, and run the air on hi cool for a while. I submitted my poem that very day.

Two weeks later I had in my hands a letter from something calling itself the Famous Poets Society, based in Talent, Oregon. The Executive Committee of its distinguished Board of Directors, the letter informed me, had chosen my poem, from a multitude, to be entered in its seventh annual poetry convention, which would be held September 16–18 at John Ascuaga’s Nugget hotel and casino in Reno, Nevada. ‘Poets from all over the world will be there to enjoy your renown,’ the letter boasted, ‘including film superstar Tony Curtis.’

This was not exactly what I had imagined.”

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"There seem to be no limitation upon his ability to do wonders in arithmetic."

So-called “Lightning Calculators” were sideshow performers more than a century ago who could solve complicated mathematical problems in their heads in front of live audiences. Few had the facility for numbers displayed by Jacques Inaudi (1867-1950), an Italian who toured extensively with vaudeville shows demonstrating his prodigious abilities. The Brooklyn Daily Eagle profiled the math man on October 15, 1901 (and misidentified his nationality). An excerpt:

“To make a real hit, mathematics in vaudeville have to be of a sensational character. The old time lightning calculator, with his demonstrations and short processes, would depreciate to the vanishing point if compared with Jacques Inaudi, ‘the man with the double brain,’ at the Orpheum this week. Inaudi is a Frenchman and his English is limited but there seem to be no limitation upon his ability to do wonders in arithmetic.

One blackboard isn’t enough for him; so his assistant operates five in a row. Ordinary examples apparently bore him; so, if given an option, he chooses something in the trillions. His assistant, who wears a big black mustache and a dress suit, has to work much harder, physically, than Inaudi. The latter, who faces the audience from a little projecting platform, never looks at the blackboard, but repeats the numbers given him from various parts of the house for his manager, and stage assistant, to write with Parisian flourishes. Then, when the sum in addition, subtraction, cube root or what not, is complete, the manager works it out in sight of the audience but, quick as he is, Monsieur Inaudi finished before him and gives the correct answer to the people in the front.

"One blackboard isn't enough for him; so his assistant operates five in a row."

Last night Inaudi asked first for material for a sum in subtraction. Various three figure combinations were shouted here and there, with the result that when the top of the five boards had been filled to overflowing Inaudi had a proposition like  this–not before–but behind him: Subtract 297, 122, 999, 492, 322, 260 from 495, 876, 711, 411, 460, 594. It was not the sort of a sum that the ordinary school sharp would care to tackle mentally, but Monsieur Inaudi did it, with his back turned to the board; and he did something else beside. This is where the double brain theory gained its notoriety. All the while that Inaudi was calculating in amounts rather more than the average man’s spending money, he was answering questions, as to the week days of certain dates, from anybody in the audience. Many men fired the date of their birth at him and received back instantly the day of the week. A glance at the questioner’s face was enough to indicate that Inaudi’s answer had been the right one.

In the meantime the hard working manager at the blackboard had been taking violent exercise in subtraction.

‘Haf you finished?’ asked Inaudi, from his place out by the footlights.

‘Non, non,’ was the answer, ‘It ees not quite.’

‘I haf finished,’ said Inaudi, calmly.

There, still looking straight ahead, the Frenchman gave the answer, the same as that which had been worked out on the blackboard: 98, 753, 711, 919, 138, 334. After that came multiplication, square root and finally Monsieur Inaudi repeated without a falter, from beginning to end, every figure that appeared on the blackboard up stage.

Inaudi and his manager were the very pink of politeness when an Eagle man saw them later in their dressing room. More tests in mathematics followed and with them every suspicion of possible treachery vanished.

‘What were you before making use of your ability at figures?’ the reporter asked.

‘Monsieur Inaudi was a shepherd,’ his manager replied for him, ‘a shepherd, with hees sheep, in France. One day, years, ago, he came to Marseilles. A strangaire there learned what he could do in mathematiques. He heard him and took him to Paree. Since then he has been before scienteests, doctairs and all–and all say, ‘Monsieur Inaudi ees a man with two brains.’

‘Have you got a memory for other matters like your memory for figures?’

‘It ees for feegures only,’ said Inaudi, answering for himself.”


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How very mirthful. (Thanks crunchy.tv.)

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