"Here's to hoping you get sideswiped by a cabbie." (image by Omnibus, Uris.)

Thief – thanks for stealing my bike, jerk (Midtown)

Hey, thief who stole my nice Bianchi from 55th between 7th and 8th, thanks so much for making my life miserable. I know you stole many bikes from that rack, but that was my main mode of transportation. Now I’m screwed because I can’t afford a new one.

Here’s to hoping you get sideswiped by a cabbie. Or, that someone sees you riding my Blue Bianchi with blue wheels around town and takes it back. I’d offer a reward, but I’m broke.

Jerk.

Very sincerely your enemy now,

Fletch