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Dan Callahan’s Coat – $1 (Oakland Gardens, NY)

For sale is a worthless coat formerly owned by a worthless person that goes by the name of Dan Callahan. The coat is roughly 90 years old and reeks of shit. It’s covered in dog hair and numerous other unidentifiable pieces of fuzz and/or actual dog shit.

By purchasing this item you will also receive the pocket contents which are as follows:

– 1 used and broken golf tee
– 1 empty box of cigarettes
– 2 broken cigarettes
– 1/4 empty tin of mint skoal pouches
– 15 State Farm Business Cards
– No Life
– 1 half consumed dog biscuit
– 1 dead frog
– 4 bags of Nike’s shit
– Dan Callahan’s 10 steps to success guide
– Sidewitz’s dad
– Forged scorecard
– Croxley’s coupon for 10 cent wings
– 1 giant sarcastic asshole
– Voucher for a free fluoride rinse
– Tee time for Bethpage Black in 2028
– The most hated human being alive
– His dad’s friend Leo
– Unlimited bitching & moaning
– Unlimited horseshit golf advice
– 1 really wide driveway
– 1 more of anything anyone else has

Ehhhhh you should probably buy this. Price negotiable.