Bonnie Hunt just brought me a Chicken Marsala. (Image by Chad J. McNeeley.)

He was once one of the most highly paid and ill-prepared hosts on television, but these days Larry King is known as that creepy old guy at the Olive Garden who keeps trying to interview people with a breadstick. When a group from the office is trying to celebrate someone’s birthday, Larry King plops himself down and tells them that they are on the air with Ryan Secrest, even though they’re not.

The manager at the Olive Garden was sort of thrilled the first time Larry King walked into the restaurant. You don’t see too many celebrities there. He took a photo with Larry King and hung it on the wall. But now he pretty much calls the police as soon as Larry King pulls into the parking lot.

Hot, tasty microphones.

Larry King thinks his waitress is Lady Gaga. Yeah, his waitress is blond, but she’s also a 48-year-old mother of five. He probably should realize the difference. Larry just asked his waitress if she wrote “Poker Face” because she likes playing poker. She just wants to take his order and finish her shift, but Larry King finds her “entrancing, one of her generation’s most exciting performers.”

Larry King thinks the kitchen is his dressing room, and he hangs out in his underpants and regales the cooks with stories of his days running around Miami with Jackie Gleason. Most of them are trying to put poison in his Lasagna Classico. They long for his death.

Larry King really needs this Olive Garden gig to work out, even though it’s not really a gig. He stares out of the window in fear that Anderson Cooper or Piers Morgan is arriving. But it’s just the police, so he quickly pulls on his trousers.