"The worst part was the BLOOD." (Image by Idlir Fida.)

CRAIGSLIST HORROR STORY – $100 (Midtown West)

I just got up at five AM to clean a couch. I woke up in the middle of the night and eventually decided to just get up, because I could not stand the fact that the smell of urine, yes urine, was on that couch.

I got this couch off craigslist. Buyer beware! It might seem awkward but it might be a good idea to take a sniff of the couch you are going to buy. Or don’t buy a couch secondhand at all. I went to ikea today for the first time and saw a comparable couch for just a little more.

The urine was not even the worst part. The worst part was the BLOOD. Yes, blood. All over the cushion on the right part, and some on the left. I discovered this when I tried to remove the covers for washing. I was not able to get the covers off because the zipper is too close to the frame on the front right. The left cover I can’t get off either. I know they do come off because there is blood on the cushion, but the cover is white and with no blood on the inside. So the owner must have gotten them off for cleaning.

When I emailed him about it, he said maybe the blood was from a mover’s hand. (What? And the moving was another headache I won’t even get into) I don’t know how he could possibly own this couch and not know that the entire cushion was covered in BLOOD. And to my question about how exactly to get the cover off, because it is stuck on the bottom right, he replied obtusely “the covers come off for cleaning.” I feel like I am talking to a robot that just spits the same answer at you and only has one line to say. I sent him a clear explanation of the situation- did not even blame him for not telling me about the blood- and he just gives this line back.

I got this couch on Saturday morning and spent Saturday night cleaning it. I took a break (and let it dry) on Sunday but then woke up in the middle of the night and finally got up to clean the cover as it was, partially unzippered from the couch. I just put some dishwashing soap on a sponge and wiped it over. It absorbed into the microfiber and I dont even know how to rinse it out properly.

I’ve spent several hours now cleaning this disgusting couch and needless to say it wasn’t worth it. I want to warn people on craigslist not to make my mistake. Don’t let anyone rush you through a purchase, and thoroughly examine the item before buying! Don’t be too polite to ask questions. If at all in doubt, don’t buy it. And if at all possible just buy a new couch. There were couches at ikea for $149 and $200. They may not be the exact or ideal couch you want, but at least they will not be biohazards!!