Old Print Article: “A Monkey Story,” Brooklyn Daily Eagle (1882)

August 19, 2010 in Old Print Articles, Urban Studies | Permalink

They'll never take me alive. (Image by T. Lersch.)

Justice wasn’t blind so much as dumb in Brooklyn courtrooms in the 1880s. That’s the conclusion I drew after reading this article in the July 29, 1882 edition of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle in which a monkey was the subject of a terrible miscarriage of justice. Either that or the judge in the case was an incredible smartass. An excerpt:

“The general opinion that monkeys are of no earthly use to mankind, except to exhibit at circuses, and that they are wanting in human instincts is shown to be erroneous by the part which one of these animals played this morning in an altercation between two men in the Eastern District.

Thomas Connors and Frederick Weldler were having a set to in the house of the latter, on North Eighth street. From hot words the parties came to blows, and after three or four rounds it became evident to Weldler that his opponent was too much for him. Upon a table was a large monkey, an interesting observer of all that was taking place. When Weldler found that his chances of victory were very dubious unless he resorted to some new tactics the happy thought came to him to enlist the aid and sympathies of his long tailed protege, and, grabbing the monkey by the tail, he threw him on the face of his antagonist.

A most interesting fight then ensued. The monkey began to claw, scratch, bite and otherwise spoil the countenance of Mr. Connors. The monkey was by far too much for his man, and at last Connors, bleeding and panting, was obliged to leave the house. He sought Officer Phelan, the veteran guardian of the peace in the Fourteenth Ward, and had him arrest Weldler for assault and battery. The parties were taken before Justice Nasher.

After hearing his story Justice Nasher said to Connors: ‘Then it was the monkey who assaulted you.’

‘Yes, it was the monkey, but Weldler threw him at me and set him on,’ replied the defeated man.

‘Well, you have no case, as I see,’ said the court,’ against Mr. Weldler. It appears that the monkey is the guilty party, and if you will bring him here we will examine him. Mr. Clark make out a warrant for the arrest of the monkey.’

Connors did not wait for the warrant but left the court room, remarking as he did so something about taking the law into his own hands and having satisfaction.”

Judge Judy: I once ruled in favor of a salamander. (Image by Susan Roberts.)

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