Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov: First Lebron reject me, now this. (Image by Андрей Романенко.)

With just a few days remaining in July, Russia, which has been Afflictor’s number one foreign visitor for seventh months running, is languishing in tenth place. Only a furious end-of-the-month rally will keep the former superpower from being trounced as badly as it was during the Cold War. Land of smog and murdered journalists, Russia has long been run by narcissistic thug Vladimir Putin and his hand-picked young ward Dmitry Medvedev. Perhaps that dynamic duo can take a break from kissing evil dictator Kim Jong-il’s ass long enough to marshal their people and win the July traffic race. It won’t make up for losing the space race, but it’s something.