General Robert E. Lee: I was indeed an incorrigible kissing bandit. And I also was quite fond of the pussy.

I don’t know what was going on in the world on November 24, 1891, but I would have to assume that it was a slow news day. The Brooklyn Daily Eagle ran a story that morning about how famous generals and politicians often took advantage of opportunities to kiss pretty girls. General Robert E. Lee was one of the military men singled out as a kisser of pretty ladies. Imagine his shame! An excerpt from the ridiculous article:

“A cablegram from Berlin announced that Prince Bismarck is enjoying himself at Kissengen, adding that he recently kissed a young lady. The young lady in question desired, it appears, to kiss his hand, but the man of Blut und Eisen was too gallant for that. He seized her and kissed her ruby lips with all the ardor of his 76 years, ending with a good squeeze by way of a clincher.

The incident is suggestive, says the Baltimore Sun, not simply of the fact that pretty girls like to be kissed–provided the other party is a famous man and of discreet age–but of the more instructive truth that kissing pretty girls has been a favorite occupation of all great men of mature age, military men being particularly given to it.

General Robert E. Lee, for example, notwithstanding the staid decorum of his ordinary demeanor, was ever ready, it is stated. to kiss a pretty girl. At Lexington, Va., in the closing years of his life, there were many pretty girls and many encounters of this kind, the girls being quite willing to ‘have it to say’ that they had been so favored by the great patriot and strategist. The victor in many great battles–the victim of the charms of their pretty faces–the idea was just entirely too delightful for anything. The college boys heard of it with mingled feelings of envy and emulation.

To this day the visitor at Lexington will be stopped at this or that turn of the road by his guide–some old colleague–with the remark: ‘Here in 1866 I saw General Lee kiss the beautiful Miss So-and-So. They met, they chatted. At parting the damsel would say, ‘Why, General, aren’t you going to kiss me?’ and thereupon the general would respond with evident animation.”