Perhaps it could bulge more, but it's completely functional as is, ladies.

Dear Mr. Keith Dykhoff,

Thank you for your recent spam email with the subject line: “Make knob bulging!” We at the Afflictor offices are a little embarrassed to ask, but you’re talking about the penis, right? If you’re talking about actual doorknobs, we’d like to apologize for being presumptuous. While the products your company offers are no doubt effectively bulge-inducing, Mr. Dykhoff, we have to pass on making an order at the present time. We just purchased some new jeans, and if we use your products, we’d have to go out and buy some bulging-knob jeans. In this tough economy, that wouldn’t be feasible. If America’s financial outlook should improve, we’ll be in touch.

Sincerely,

Afflictor